Like busy professionals taking a taxi to the airport, academic readers in the United States prefer that you take the most direct route to your destination, with no detours along the way. They expect your writing to stay focused, each sentence supporting the main point of its paragraph. Your writing should include details, of course, but each detail should directly support your main point. Otherwise readers may think that you have lost your focus or are wasting their time.
If you are accustomed to a writing style that often includes details that are interesting or thought-provoking but not directly related to the main idea, you may have a difficult time identifying the difference between necessary and unnecessary details. To recognize what academic English readers consider necessary details, try reading student papers that are considered effective models of academic writing. Often the best way to improve your own writing skills is to review several models. (See the directories below.)
In the following paragraph, the writer wanders off the topic (in the highlighted sentence). In the revision, each detail supports the main idea of the paragraph and there are no unnecessary details.
PARAGRAPH WITH UNNECESSARY DETAILS
The gray wolf may not be as harmful to cattle ranching as some believe. Many residents of the western United States are opposed to allowing the gray wolf into western wilderness areas because they believe that the wolves will kill ranchers’ herds and ruin their businesses. However, in the last few years, very few cows have been killed by wolves, while thousands of cows have been killed by lightning, storms, and other animals, including coyotes. Although the coyote is related to the wolf and inhabits the same areas, it is lighter in color and smaller in size. While wolves may cause some economic losses, to say that wolves alone will ruin the ranching business overstates the animals’ actual impact.
FOCUSED PARAGRAPH
The gray wolf may not be as harmful to cattle ranching as some believe. Many residents of the western United States are opposed to allowing the gray wolf into western wilderness areas because they believe that the wolves will kill ranchers’ herds and ruin their businesses. However, in the last few years, very few cows have been killed by wolves, while thousands of cows have been killed by lightning, storms, and other animals, including coyotes. While wolves may cause some economic losses, to say that wolves alone will ruin the ranching business overstates the animals’ actual impact.
Related topics:
Asserting your claim before providing evidence
Taking a stand on an issue
Understanding intellectual property and avoiding plagiarism
Sample student essays
Developing the main point
Sticking to the point
Paragraph coherence
Samples of academic writing:
Directory to sample student writing in MLA style
Directory to sample student writing in APA style
Directory to sample student writing in Chicago style