Editing to avoid redundancy

Mod-19

Redundant expressions such as cooperate together, close proximity, basic essentials, and true fact are a common source of wordiness. There is no need to say the same thing twice.

Click Submit after each text box to see possible revisions and to submit your answers to your instructor’s gradebook. You may review your answers by returning to this activity at any time. (An activity reports to the gradebook only if your instructor has assigned it.)

image

Though modifiers ordinarily add meaning to the words they modify, occasionally they are redundant.

image
image

The words scribbled and determined already contain the notions suggested by the modifiers very hurriedly and in his mind.

See if you can spot redundancy in the following sentences and revise them to be more concise without loss of meaning.

Question

1. When the whistle blew to signal the end of regulation play, the final score on the scoreboard was Commanders 3 and Isotopes 2.

Possible revision: When the whistle blew to end regulation, the score was Commanders 3 and Isotopes 2. [Signal is unnecessary following whistle blew; final is redundant with end; on the scoreboard is unnecessary following score.]

Question

2. At sundown, orange and pink flames brightened the sky over our heads.

Possible revision: At sundown, orange and pink flames brightened the sky. [Sky over our heads is redundant (the sky is always overhead).]

Question

3. The authors of the research report, Williams and Hurt, reported in their study that women were more likely than men to prefer assistance from a salesperson.

Possible revision: Researchers Williams and Hurt reported that women were more likely than men to prefer assistance from a salesperson. [The authors of the research report can be said more concisely as Researchers; in their study is redundant with research report and with reported.]

Click the Next button or the forward arrow to continue.

[Leave] [Close]