Editing to cut empty words or phrases

Mod-21

An empty phrase can be cut with little or no loss of meaning. Common examples are introductory word groups that apologize or hedge: in my opinion, I think that, it seems that, one must admit that, and so on.

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Inflated phrases can be reduced to a word or two without loss of meaning.

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You will improve your style if you choose the concise word or phrase over one that is inflated.

Try rewriting the following paragraph to cut empty phrases and reduce the word count. Substitute words for empty phrases or eliminate phrases altogether. The passage is 147 words. How low can you go without losing meaning? (You can copy and paste the text into the window, and then edit for conciseness.)

In the world of today in which we live, some people seem to think that it is better in the long run to save money than to pay down their debt that they owe on their credit cards. But with high rates of interest on credit card debt, a better strategy is to concentrate on really paying down any credit card debt before attempting to save money for future purchases such as a home or for saving money for retirement and the costs of living after not working any longer. Once a person’s credit card debt is reduced to very little or nothing and that person is able to pay off the credit card balance each month at the end of the month, then that person should start thinking about putting away some small amount, whatever he or she can, each month, in a monthly savings plan. (147 words)

Question

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One possible revision: Some people think that it is better to save money than to reduce credit card debt. But with high interest on credit cards, a better strategy is to pay down debt before saving for future purchases such as a home or for retirement. Once a person reduces and pays card charges each month, then that person should start a monthly savings plan. (62 words)
Try rewriting the following paragraph to cut empty phrases and reduce the word count.

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