Editing to avoid repetition

Mod-20

Though words may be repeated deliberately, for effect, repetitions will seem awkward if they are clearly unnecessary. When a more concise version is possible, choose it.

Click Submit after each text box to see possible revisions and to submit your answers to your instructor’s gradebook. You may review your answers by returning to this activity at any time. (An activity reports to the gradebook only if your instructor has assigned it.)

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There’s no good reason to repeat patient or student within the same sentence.

NOTE: Not all repetition is undesirable. Sometimes repeating key words from sentence to sentence is a very effective means for gaining coherence.

See if you can spot needless repetition in the following sentences. In the text boxes, revise each sentence to eliminate needless repetition. (You can retype or copy-and-paste and then edit).

Question

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Possible revision: The mounting losses in Afghanistan include thousands of lives, tons of expensive equipment, and years of social progress.

Question

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Possible revision: People who inherit money often make bad decisions, splurging on boats, buying second homes, or paying for expensive vacation cruises.

Question

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Possible revision: Investment advisers tend to recommend products such as front-loaded mutual funds, which have high fees.

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