Ch. 6: Additional Exercise 13

Revising Sentences

Revise the following sentences as described, and be prepared to share your revisions with the class.

  1. In the following sentence, the real subject is obscured by a grammatical expletive. Revise the sentence so that the real subject appears prominently.

    There are three CERCLA sites in the Buhl area.

  2. In the following sentence, unnecessary nominalization has obscured the real verb. Revise the sentence to focus on the real verb.

    The contractor shall accomplish the removal of all visible overspray.

  3. Revise the following sentence so that it is in the active voice.

    Developing a new procedure was rated as the top quality-assurance objective by the division managers.

  4. Revise the following sentence to eliminate the awkward, confusing noun string.

    The building contains a special incoming materials storage area.

  5. The following sentence is addressed to general readers. Revise the sentence to remove unnecessary jargon.

    Please review this revised report and provide your feedback by April 2; revisions have been printed in bold type to expedite your time input.

  6. Revise the following sentence to eliminate pompous language.

    It would be helpful toward resolution of this problem if you would review the enclosed report and advise me as to any perceived errors or discrepancies.

  7. Revise the following sentence to eliminate sexist language.

    Each student must complete ENGL-302 before he can enroll in ENGL-402.

  8. In the following sentence, convert the negative construction to a positive construction.

    During the simulation of the emergency, did the simulator not fail to duplicate conditions not unlike those found in the laboratory?