Step 5: Using Dialogue

Another key component of writing an effective narrative is the inclusion of dialogue. When you include what people say during a story, it has the effect of bringing your reader into your narrative. Dialogue makes the story feel more immediate and can be a very effective way of revealing something about yourself or others in a narrative.

Look, for example, at this exchange between the narrator of “Zolaria” and her mother. Notice how the dialogue quickly shows the reasons for the conflict between mother and daughter, as well as hinting at the fact that the narrator is probably unwilling to reflect too much on her own self:

Thirteen years later, Cal and I will announce our engagement on Christmas morning over crumpled wrapping paper and freshly squeezed orange juice. It will be the coldest morning of any year of my life so far, the paper’s lead headline the temperature, 26 below, but as we unwrap presents we will see one of the Khoury boys outside walking their dog. My mother will call me into the kitchen to tell me I am young. “You’re young,” she’ll say. “You’re still so young.”

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“Not that young,” I will tell her.

“Yes, that young. You barely know each other.”

“I know him.”

“You don’t know yourself,” she’ll say. “That’s what I worry about. How can you get married when you don’t know yourself yet?”

“I know myself plenty,” I’ll say. “I think I know all I want to.” (pars. 14–19)

In general, the dialogue in a narrative typically follows a very specific format. Here are some of the most common rules and a few suggestions for writing dialogue:

ACTIVITY

Look over the following two versions of a story. The first does not use dialogue and the second does. What does the dialogue add to the story? What is revealed through the dialogue that is not apparent in the first version?

Version A

One day my friend Tim and I decided that we wanted a new video game, but neither of us had any money to buy one at the store. We debated who should steal it, and stupidly, we each decided to steal one. We almost made it out the door, but Tim got caught, and I ran away.

Version B

As soon as we got inside the store, the question immediately came up.

“Who’s gonna do it?” I asked.

“I’m not doing it,” Tim replied quickly. “We’re gonna play it on my console, so I think that you oughta do it.”

The store was suddenly too quiet and I thought everyone was listening to us. I really didn’t want to do it, but I was scared.

“No way,” I whispered. “I don’t steal.”

“Fine, but I’m not doing it!”

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We went around and around like this for a while until we decided that it would only be fair if we each stole a game. We each had one in our hands when someone grabbed us from behind.

“Hey!” the store manager yelled at us. “What are y’all doing?”

“We didn’t steal anything,” my not-too-bright friend said. “Maybe we were gonna pay for them!”

I didn’t wait to hear the rest; I just ran.

ACTIVITY

Now return to the narrative that you have been working with throughout this Workshop. Identify a place in your story where you could include a dialogue exchange. Using the format and suggestions on pages 24445, write a few pieces of dialogue and think about how the dialogue makes your narrative more effective.