Campus Box A-456

September 19, 2013

Dr. Susanna Hoeness-Krupsaw

English Department

State University

1234 University Road

Campustown, OH 23456

Dear Dr. Hoeness-Krupsaw:

The main goal of my essay was to describe accurately and vividly the significant experience of reading to a blind, elderly man during my last two years of high school. When writing the essay I was attempting to give the reader insight to the details and scenery I experienced while visiting this man. By accurately describing the scene of most significance in great detail, I hoped to convey and emphasize that significance to the reader.

The strengths I had in writing this essay were in detailing and flow. I believe my descriptions accurately put images in the mind of the reader. I began my writing process by planning with a diagram. After creating this diagram, the essay easily formed in my mind and on paper. However, if I could revise the essay further, I would focus more on word choice and strength. I would also revise and strengthen my reflections as well as my concluding paragraph. When writing, I had some difficulty in putting into words exactly what my experience made me think and feel.

The feedback I received regarding my essay was mostly positive. However, almost all feedback suggested adding more reflection at the end of my final draft. I believe this strengthened my essay overall. I would like to get a response from the reader asserting that my essay vividly conveyed images and that the importance of this event is easily understood.

I may be contacted regarding this essay at eschmitt@campus.edu or 555-5555.

Sincerely,

Erin E. Schmitt

Enc.