B. Editing to Ensure Effective Sentences

B1 Check for any misplaced or dangling modifiers

modifier: A word (such as an adjective or adverb), phrase, or clause that provides more information about other parts of a sentence: Plays staged by the drama class are always successful.

For a sentence to be clear, the connection between a modifier and the thing it modifies must be obvious. Usually a modifier should be placed just before or just after what it modifies. If the modifier is too close to some other sentence element, it is a misplaced modifier. If the modifier cannot logically modify anything in the sentence, it is a dangling modifier. Both errors can confuse readers — and sometimes create unintentionally humorous images. As you edit, place a modifier directly before or after the word modified and clearly connect the two.

MISPLACED Dan found the leftovers when he visited in the refrigerator.
CORRECT Dan found the leftovers in the refrigerator when he visited. [In the faulty sentence, in the refrigerator seems to modify Dan’s visit. Obviously the leftovers, not Dan, are in the refrigerator.]
DANGLING Looking out the window, the clouds were beautiful.
CORRECT Looking out the window, I saw that the clouds were beautiful.
CORRECT When I looked out the window, the clouds were beautiful. [In the faulty sentence, Looking out the window should modify I, but I is not in the sentence. The modifier dangles without anything logical to modify until I is in the sentence.]

EDITING CHECKLIST

Misplaced and Dangling Modifiers

For exercises on misplaced and dangling modifiers, go to the interactive “Take Action” charts in Re:Writing.

  • What is each modifier meant to modify? Is the modifier as close as possible to that sentence element? Is any misreading possible?
  • If a modifier is misplaced, can you move it to clarify the meaning?
  • What noun or pronoun is a dangling modifier meant to modify? Can you make that word or phrase the subject of the main clause? Or can you turn the dangling modifier into a clause that includes the missing noun or pronoun?
B2 Check for parallel structure

correlative conjunction: A pair of linking words (such as either/or, not only/but also) that appear separately but work together to join elements of a sentence: Neither his friends nor hers like pizza.

A series of words, phrases, clauses, or sentences with the same grammatical form is said to be parallel. Using parallel form for elements that are parallel in meaning or function helps readers grasp the meaning of a sentence more easily. A lack of parallelism can distract, annoy, or even confuse readers.

To use parallelism, put nouns with nouns, verbs with verbs, and phrases with phrases. Parallelism is particularly important in a series, with correlative conjunctions, and in comparisons using than or as.

FAULTY I like to go to Estes Park for skiing, ice skating, and to meet interesting people.
CORRECT I like to go to Estes Park to ski, to ice skate, and to meet interesting people.
FAULTY The proposal is neither practical, nor is it innovative.
CORRECT The proposal is neither practical nor innovative.
FAULTY Teens need a few firm rules rather than having many flimsy ones.
CORRECT Teens need a few firm rules rather than many flimsy ones.

Edit to reinforce parallel structures by repeating articles, conjunctions, prepositions, or lead-in words as needed.

AWKWARD His dream was that he would never have to give up his routine but he would still find time to explore new frontiers.
PARALLEL His dream was that he would never have to give up his routine but that he would still find time to explore new frontiers.

EDITING CHECKLIST

For exercises on parallel structure, go to the interactive “Take Action” charts in Re:Writing..

Parallel Structure

  • Are all the elements in a series in the same grammatical form?
  • Are the elements in a comparison parallel in form?
  • Are the articles, conjunctions, prepositions, or lead-in words for elements repeated as needed rather than mixed or omitted?

Use the Take Action charts (here and here) to help you figure out how to improve your draft. Skim across the top to identify questions you might ask about the sentences in your draft. When you answer a question with “Yes” or “Maybe,” move straight down the column to Locate Specifics under that question. Use the activities there to pinpoint gaps, problems, or weaknesses. Then move straight down the column to Take Action. Use the advice that suits your problem as you revise.