For strategies for cutting extra words, see Ch. 23.

EXERCISE 25-1 Eliminating Wordiness

Revise the following passage to eliminate wordiness. Example:

The media in recent times have become obsessed with the conflict on campuses across the nation between freedom of speech and the attempt to protect minorities from verbal abuse. Very innocent remarks or remarks of a humorous nature, sometimes taken out of context, have gotten a large number of students into trouble for the violation of college speech codes. Numerous students have become very vocal in attacking these “politically correct” speech codes and defending the right to free speech. But is the campaign against the politically correct really pertaining to freedom of speech, or is it itself a way in which to silence debate? Due to the fact that the phrase “politically correct” has become associated with liberal social causes and sensitivity to minority feelings, it now carries a very extraordinary stigma in the eyes of conservatives. To accuse someone of being politically correct is to refute their ideas before hearing their argument. The attempt to silence the opposition is a dangerous sign of our times and suggests that we are indeed in a cultural war.

Learning by Doing Refining Your Wording

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After you have read or skimmed through this chapter, consider which types of words you most often wrestle with. Do you have trouble regulating your tone, your attitude, and your degree of formality? Do you lapse into specialized jargon, slang, or clichés? Do you fall into biased or stereotypical wording rather than sticking to fair, neutral language? Or are you just plain wordy? Identify the problem you want to tackle, review the section about it, and plan a strategy—maybe highlighting words to reconsider, maybe applying your instructor’s past suggestions in the current paper, or maybe searching for key words or passages to rephrase. After you have made improvements, exchange papers with a peer, and help each other spot any other word choice issues.