Chapter Introduction

CHAPTER 10

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Constructing an Adult Life

CHAPTER OUTLINE

Emerging into Adulthood

Setting the Context: Culture and History

Beginning and End Points

Constructing an Identity

Marcia’s Identity Statuses

The Identity Statuses in Action

Ethnic Identity, a Minority Theme

Finding a Career

Entering with High (but Often Unrealistic) Career Goals

Self-Esteem and Emotional Growth During College and Beyond

Finding Flow

Emerging into Adulthood Without a College Degree (in the United States)

INTERVENTIONS: Smoothing the School Path and School-to-Work Transition

Being in College

INTERVENTIONS: Making College an Inner-Growth Flow Zone

Finding Love

Setting the Context: Seismic Shifts in Searching for Love

HOT IN DEVELOPMENTAL SCIENCE: Same-Sex Romance

Similarity and Structured Relationship Stages: A Classic Model of Love, and a Critique

HOT IN DEVELOPMENTAL SCIENCE: Facebook Romance

Love Through the Lens of Attachment Theory

HOW DO WE KNOW . . . That a Person Is Securely or Insecurely Attached?

INTERVENTIONS: Evaluating Your Own Relationship

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After graduating from high school in the top third of his class, Matt looked forward to pursuing his dream of becoming a lawyer. But his freshman year at State U was a nightmare. His courses felt irrelevant. He zoned out during lectures. Compared to high school, the work seemed impossibly hard. Most important, with his full-time job at the supermarket, and five classes a semester, he lost his scholarship after the first year. The only rational solution seemed to be to drop out for a while and move back with his parents, so he could work his way up to management and then consider going back.

Six years later, Matt is doing well. In June he was promoted to store supervisor and (finally) moved out of the house. One reason is that he met a terrific girl on Facebook named Clara—his first real relationship in five years. Clara and Matt share many values even though, he must admit, she is more mature. He respects Clara’s strong woman ethic and the fact that she has been caring for her disabled sister, while working and going to nursing school full time. Clara—being the take-charge person in their relationship—is pushing Matt to return to college. But it’s going to be such a stretch, financially. And—frankly—Matt is worried that he won’t get into the work.

Should he give up his job or cut down his hours? And what will he major in if he returns to State U? Adulthood can be thrilling—but the choices you face during the twenties are much harder than you’d expect!

Can you identify with Matt’s financial troubles or his decision-making problems centered on school? Perhaps, like Clara, you are struggling to balance work and family responsibilities while getting your degree. No matter what your situation, if you are in your twenties, you might feel a bit “in between.” You are clearly not a child, but you still haven’t reached those classic goals of adulthood—marriage, parenthood, embarking on your “real” career. You fit into that new life category Jeffrey Arnett labels (2004, 2007) emerging adulthood.

This chapter is devoted to this new life phase. It explores that time lasting roughly from age 18 through the late twenties, when we are constructing an adult life. First, I’ll explore the features of emerging adulthood and describe the challenges we face during this watershed, transitional life stage. The last half of this chapter focuses on three crucial emerging-adult concerns: career, college, finding love.