Consider again the theories discussed in Chapter 2. As you will see, theories lead to insight and applications that are relevant for the final topic of this chapter, infant day care.

You will notice that the two universal theories, humanism and evolution, are discussed separately. That is because the implications of each for infants diverge, and thus they should not be lumped together.

You will also see that sociocultural theory is not described as a separate theory. From that omission do not conclude that it is irrelevant—quite the opposite. In every topic of this chapter, cultural differences are highlighted: A sociocultural approach is needed throughout the study of infant psychosocial development. Thus a separate section devoted to it would seem peculiar.

Psychoanalytic theory connects biosocial and psychosocial development. Sigmund Freud and Erik Erikson each described two distinct stages of early development, one in the first year and one beginning in the second.

According to Freud (1935/1989, 2001), the first year of life is the oral stage, so named because the mouth is the young infant’s primary source of gratification. In the second year, with the anal stage, pleasure comes from the anus—particularly from the sensual satisfaction of bowel movements and, eventually, the psychological pleasure of controlling them.

Freud believed that the oral and anal stages are fraught with potential conflicts. If a mother frustrates her infant’s urge to suck—weaning too early or too late, for example, or preventing the baby from sucking a thumb or a pacifier—that may later lead to an oral fixation. A person with an oral fixation is stuck (fixated) at the oral stage, and therefore, as an adult, he or she eats, drinks, chews, bites, or talks excessively, still seeking the mouth-related pleasures of infancy.

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Similarly, if toilet training is overly strict or if it begins before the infant is mature enough, then the toddler’s refusal—or inability—to comply will clash with the wishes of the adult, who denies the infant normal anal pleasures. That may lead to an anal personality—an adult who seeks self-control, with an unusually strong need for regularity and cleanliness in all aspects of life. (Developmental Link: Theory of toilet training is discussed in Chapter 2.)

According to Erikson, the first crisis of life is trust versus mistrust, when infants learn whether or not the world can be trusted to satisfy basic needs. Babies feel secure when food and comfort are provided with “consistency, continuity, and sameness of experience” (Erikson, 1963, p. 247). If social interaction inspires trust, the child (later the adult) confidently explores the social world.

The second crisis is autonomy versus shame and doubt, beginning at about 18 months, when self-awareness emerges. Toddlers want autonomy (self-rule) over their own actions and bodies. Without it, they feel ashamed and doubtful. Like Freud, Erikson believed that problems in early infancy could last a lifetime, creating adults who are suspicious and pessimistic (mistrusting) or easily shamed (lacking autonomy).

Erikson was aware of cultural variations. He knew that mistrust and shame could be destructive or not, depending on local norms and expectations. Westerners expect toddlers to go through the stubborn and defiant “terrible twos”; that is a sign of the urge for autonomy. Parents in some other places expect toddlers to be more responsive to parent demands, using shame to control misbehavior.

A study of children in three nations found that the Japanese were highest in shame, the Koreans highest in guilt, and the U.S. children highest in pride (Furukawa et al., 2012). As a result, U.S. children are less fearful and less obedient.

From the perspective of behaviorism, emotions and personality are molded as parents reinforce or punish a child. Behaviorists believe that parents who respond joyously to every glimmer of a grin will have children with a sunny disposition. The opposite is also true:

Failure to bring up a happy child, a well-adjusted child—assuming bodily health—falls squarely upon the parents’ shoulders. [By the time the child is 3] parents have already determined … [whether the child] is to grow into a happy person, wholesome and good-natured, whether he is to be a whining, complaining neurotic, an anger-driven, vindictive, over-bearing slave driver, or one whose every move in life is definitely controlled by fear.

[Watson, 1928, pp. 7, 45]

Later behaviorists recognized that infant behavior also has an element of social learning, as infants learn from other people. You already saw an example, social referencing. Social learning occurs throughout life (Morris et al., 2007; Rendell et al., 2011). Toddlers express emotions in various ways—from giggling to cursing—just as their parents or older siblings do.

For example, a boy might develop a hot temper if his father’s outbursts seem to win his mother’s respect; a girl might be coy, or passive-aggressive, if that is what she has seen at home. These examples are deliberately sexist: Gender roles, in particular, are learned, according to social learning.

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Parents often unwittingly encourage certain traits in their children. This is evident in the effects of proximal versus distal parenting. Should parents carry infants most of the time, or will that spoil them? Should babies have many toys, or will that make them too materialistic?

Answers to these questions refer to the distinction between proximal parenting (being physically close to a baby, often holding and touching) and distal parenting (keeping some distance—providing toys, encouraging self-feeding, talking face-to-face instead of communicating by touch). Caregivers tend to behave in proximal or distal ways very early, when infants are only 2 months old (Kärtner et al., 2010).

Variations in proximal and distal parenting lead to variations in toddler behavior. For instance, toddlers who, as infants, were often held, patted, and hushed (proximal) become toddlers who are more obedient to their parents but less likely to recognize themselves in a mirror (Keller et al., 2010; Keller et al., 2004). Cultural differences in personality are apparent when researchers compared the Nso people of Cameroon (very proximal) with the Greeks in Athens (very distal). Further research in other nations confirms that caregiving styles affect later behavior (Borke et al., 2007; Kärtner et al., 2011).

Should you pick up your crying baby (proximal) or give her a pacifier (distal)? Should you breast-feed until age 2 or longer (proximal) or switch to bottle-feeding before 6 months (distal)? Of course, many factors influence parental actions, and breast-feeding is only one example of parental behavior. But every parental response is influenced by whatever assumptions the culture holds. According to behaviorism, each action reinforces a lesson that the baby learns, in this case about people and objects.

Cognitive theory holds that thoughts determine a person’s perspective. Early experiences are important because beliefs, perceptions, and memories make them so, not because they are buried in the unconscious (psychoanalytic theory) or burned into the brain’s patterns (behaviorism).

According to many cognitive theorists, early experiences help infants develop a working model, which is a set of assumptions that becomes a frame of reference for later life (Johnson et al., 2010). It is a “model” because early relationships form a prototype, or blueprint; it is “working” because it is a work in progress, not fixed or final.

Ideally, infants develop “a working model of the self as lovable, and competent” because the parents are “emotionally available, loving, and supportive of mastery efforts” (Harter and Bukowski, 2012, p. 12). However, reality does not always conform to this ideal. A 1-year-old girl might develop a model, based on her parents’ inconsistent responses to her, that people are unpredictable. She will continue to apply that model to everyone: Her childhood friendships will be insecure, and her adult relationships will be guarded.

The crucial idea, according to cognitive theory, is that an infant’s early experiences themselves are not necessarily pivotal, but the interpretation of those experiences is (Olson & Dweck, 2009). Children may misinterpret their experiences, or parents may offer inaccurate explanations, and these form ideas that affect later thinking and behavior.

In this way, working models formed in childhood echo lifelong. A hopeful message from cognitive theory is that people can rethink and reorganize their thoughts, developing new models. Our mistrustful girl might marry a faithful and loving man and gradually develop a new working model. The form of psychotherapy that seems most successful at the moment is called cognitive-behavioral, in which new thoughts about how to behave are developed. In other words, a new working model is developed.

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Remember from Chapter 2 that Maslow described a hierarchy of needs (physiological, safety/security, love/belonging, success/esteem, and self-actualization), with the lower levels being prerequisites for higher ones. Infants begin at the first level: Their emotions serve to ensure that physiological needs are met. That’s why babies cry when they are hungry or hurt, as adults usually do not. Basic survival needs must be satisfied to enable the person to reach higher levels (Silton et al., 2011).

Humanism reminds us that caregivers also have needs and that their needs influence how they respond to infants. Self-actualized people (level 5) no longer demand their children’s love and respect, so they can guide an infant well even if the child is momentarily angry (as when getting the child immunized). But most young parents are at level 3 or 4, seeking love or respect. They may be troubled by “ghosts in the nursery” (first mentioned in Chapter 5 in the discussion of infant sleep). Their own babyhood experience includes unmet needs, and their early distress interferes with their ability to nurture the next generation.

For example, while all experts endorse breast-feeding as the best way to meet infants’ physiological needs, many mothers quit breast-feeding after trying for a few days, and many fathers feel excluded if the mother spends most of her time and attention on nursing. This may puzzle some experts but not the humanist theorists, who realize that a parent’s needs may clash with an infant’s needs (Mulder & Johnson, 2010).

For example, one mother of a 1-year-old said:

My son couldn’t latch so I was pumping and my breasts were massive and I’m a pretty small woman with big breasts and they were enormous during pregnancy. It has always been a sore spot for me and I’ve never loved my breasts. And that has been hard for me in not feeling good about myself. And I stopped pumping in January and slowly they are going back and I’m beginning to feel some confidence again and that definitely helps. Because I felt overweight, your boobs are not your own and you are exhausted and your body is strange it’s just really hard to want to share that with someone. They think you are beautiful, they love it and love you the way you are but it is not necessarily what you feel.

[quoted in Shapiro, 2011, p. 18]

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This woman’s need for self-respect was overwhelming, causing her to stop breast-feeding in order to feel some confidence about her shape. Neither her husband’s love of her body nor her son’s need for breast milk helped because she was not past level 3 (love and belonging). Her “strange” body attacked her self-esteem (level 4).

Her personal needs may have been unmet since puberty (she says, “I’ve never loved my breasts”). She blames her husband for not understanding her feelings and her son who “couldn’t latch.” Since all babies learn to latch with time and help, this woman’s saying that her son couldn’t latch suggests something amiss in synchrony and attachment—unmet baby needs because of unmet mother needs.

By contrast, some parents understand their baby’s need for safety and security (level 2) even if they themselves are far beyond that stage. Kevin is an example.

Kevin is a very active, outgoing person who loves to try new things. Today he takes his 11-month-old daughter, Tyra, to the park for the first time. Tyra is playing alone in the sandbox, when a group of toddlers joins her. At first, Tyra smiles and eagerly watches them play. But as the toddlers become more active and noisy, Tyra’s smiles turn quickly to tears. She … reaches for Kevin, who picks her up and comforts her. But then Kevin goes a step further. After Tyra calms down, Kevin gently encourages her to play near the other children. He sits at her side, talking and playing with her. Soon Tyra is slowly creeping closer to the group of toddlers, curiously watching their moves.

[Lerner & Dombro, 2004, p. 42]

Remember that evolutionary theory stresses two needs: survival and reproduction. Human brains are extraordinarily adept at those tasks. However, not until about two decades of maturation is the human brain fully functioning. A child must be nourished, protected, and taught much longer than offspring of any other species. Infant and parent emotions ensure this lengthy protection (Hrdy, 2009).

Infant emotions are part of this evolutionary mandate. All the reactions described in the first part of this chapter—from the hunger cry to the temper tantrum—can be seen from this perspective (Konner, 2010).

For example, newborns are extraordinarily dependent, unable to walk or talk or even sit up and feed themselves for months after birth. They must attract adult devotion—and they do. That first smile, the sound of infant laughter, and their role in synchrony are all powerfully attractive to adults—especially to parents.

Adults call their hairless, chinless, round-faced, small-limbed creatures “cute,” “handsome,” “beautiful,” “adorable,” and willingly devote hours to carrying, feeding, changing, and cleaning them. Adaptation is evident: Mothers and fathers have the genetic potential to be caregivers, and grandparents have done it before, but, according to evolutionary psychology, whether or not that potential is expressed, turning busy adults into devoted caregivers, depends on the particular survival needs of infants in that community.

If humans were motivated merely by financial reward, no one would have children. Yet evolution has created adults who find parenting worth every sacrifice. The costs are substantial: Food (even breast milk requires the mother to eat more), diapers, clothes, furniture, medical bills, toys, and child care (whether paid or unpaid) are just a start.

Before a child becomes independent, many parents have bought a bigger residence, and spent thousands on education, vacations, and much more. These are only the financial costs; the emotional costs are greater. A recent book about parenting titled “All Joy and No Fun” highlights the paradox: People choose to sacrifice time, money, and fun because they find parenting deeply satisfying (Senior, 2014).

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Indeed, successful reproduction depends on years of self-sacrificing; humans have evolved to provide it. Hormones—specifically, oxytocin—do much more than trigger birth and promote breast-feeding; they increase the impulse to bond with others, especially one’s children (Feldman et al., 2011). Both men and women have oxytocin in their blood and saliva, and this hormone continues to be produced as needed for caregiving. For fathers, oxytocin increases and testosterone decreases as they care for their infants, a biological adaptation to an evolutionary need (Weisman et al., 2014).

Evolutionary theory holds that over human history, attachment, with proximity-seeking and contact-maintaining, promoted species survival by keeping toddlers near caregivers and keeping caregivers vigilant. Infants fuss at still faces, they express fear of separation, and they laugh when adults play with them, all of which sustain parent–child interdependence. We inherited these emotional reactions from our great-great-grandparents, who would have died without them.

As explained in Chapter 4, human bonding is unlike that of goats and sheep—a mother does not need to nuzzle her newborn immediately. Bonding, followed by synchrony and then attachment, is enhanced by experiences at birth, but the caregiver–infant relationship is strengthened in many other ways. Social connections are stronger and more flexible for humans than for other animals. Toddlers attend to adult expressions (social referencing) as one more way to establish the bond between themselves and others.

Evolutionary social scientists note that if mothers were exclusive caregivers of each child until adulthood, a given woman could rear only one or two offspring—not enough for the species to survive. Instead, before the introduction of reliable birth control, the average interval between births for humans was two to four years.

Humans birth children at relatively short intervals and raise them successfully because of allocare—the care of children by people other than the biological parents (Hrdy, 2009). Allocare is essential for Homo sapiens’ survival.

Compared with many other species (for instance, mother chimpanzees never let another chimp hold their babies), human mothers have evolved to let other people help with child care, and other people are usually eager to do so (Kachel et al., 2011). Throughout the centuries, the particular person to provide allocare has varied by culture and ecological conditions.

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Often fathers helped but not always: Some men were far away, fighting, hunting, or seeking work, while some had several wives and a dozen or more children. In those situations, other women (daughters, grandmothers, sisters, friends) and sometimes other men provided allocare (Hrdy, 2009).