The comment: Narrow your introduction
THE COMMENT: Narrow your introduction
similar comments: Unfocused intro • Too broad
understanding the comment When readers point out that your introduction needs to be “narrowed,” the comment often signals that the beginning sentences of your essay are not specific or focused.
strategies for revising
- Reread your introduction and ask questions. Are the sentences leading to your thesis specific enough to engage readers and communicate your purpose? Do these sentences lead logically to your thesis? Do they spark your readers’ curiosity and offer them a reason to continue reading? (See 1e.)
- Try engaging readers with a “hook” in your introduction—a question, a quotation, a vivid example, or an image. (See the chart in 1e.)