14b. Choppy sentences

14bCombine choppy sentences.

Short sentences demand attention, so you should use them primarily for emphasis. Too many short sentences, one after the other, make for a choppy style.

If an idea is not important enough to deserve its own sentence, try combining it with a sentence close by. Put any minor ideas in subordinate structures such as phrases or subordinate clauses. (See 48.)

image

The writer wanted to emphasize that the Parks Department minimizes its use of chemicals, so she put the reason in a subordinate clause beginning with because.

image

A minor idea is now expressed in an appositive phrase (a 184-mile waterway constructed in the 1800s).

Although subordination is ordinarily the most effective technique for combining short, choppy sentences, coordination is appropriate when the ideas are equal in importance.

image

Combining two short sentences by joining their predicates (displayed . . . sent) is an effective coordination technique.

Multilingual

Unlike some other languages, English does not repeat objects or adverbs in adjective clauses. The relative pronoun (that, which, whom) or relative adverb (where) in the adjective clause represents the object or adverb. See 30d.

image

The pronoun it cannot repeat the relative pronoun that.