The story of how six-year-old Peyton Messenger learned to skateboard shows how it is possible to have meaningful experiences with someone we perceive as an outgrouper. In October 2015, Peyton’s mother, Jeanean, took Peyton to a skate park so she could learn to skateboard, but when they arrived they found a group of teenage boys there. Intimidated, Peyton wanted to go home, but one of the boys approached Peyton and spent over an hour teaching her to skateboard—despite being teased by his friends. Jeanean posted this photo on Twitter that day with an accompanying note to the boy (later identified as twenty-year-old Ryan Carney), thanking him for the confidence he gave Peyton. The photo and note quickly went viral.

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© Jeanean Thomas