Chapter Recap

• According to social penetration theory, people use self-disclosure to reveal themselves to others.

• Self-disclosure builds intimacy in relationships. Intimacy is self-perpetuating: the more intimacy you feel, the more you disclose; and as you disclose more, feelings of intimacy deepen.

• Though relational dialectics can bring challenges to relationships, competent communication can help you manage these tensions.

• You can sustain your relationships through relational maintenance, which includes positivity, assurances, and self-disclosure.

• Providing competent supportive communication can help you convey sincere sympathy, concern, and encouragement to your interpersonal relationship partners.

1. Communication Rules

   Question

   With a partner, revisit the discussion of the openness versus protection relational dialectic and communication privacy management theory on pages 249–251. Discuss how you think this applies to romantic relationships. First, identify topics or issues that “must” be talked about (i.e., topics about which romantic partners must be open). Then, consider more complicated topics, as well as topics that “should absolutely not” be discussed (attraction to a coworker, flirting with strangers, sexual infidelity). Finally, analyze how these categories affect communication in relationships. How does keeping things from a partner impact intimacy? How would you deal with differences in topics that must or should not be discussed?

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   1. With a partner, revisit the discussion of the openness versus protection relational dialectic and communication privacy management theory on pages 249–251. Discuss how you think this applies to romantic relationships. First, identify topics or issues that “must” be talked about (i.e., topics about which romantic partners must be open). Then, consider more complicated topics, as well as topics that “should absolutely not” be discussed (attraction to a coworker, flirting with strangers, sexual infidelity). Finally, analyze how these categories affect communication in relationships. How does keeping things from a partner impact intimacy? How would you deal with differences in topics that must or should not be discussed?

2. Relationship Reflection

   Question

   Write a brief reflection paper analyzing how you engage in relationship maintenance. Pick a close relationship in your life (romance, family member, or friendship), and describe typical interactions that you have with that person. How often do you communicate in ways that bolster and undermine positivity, assurances, and self-disclosure? Provide specific examples. How does this communication impact the relationship—positively and negatively? How can the relational maintenance tactics help you improve your relationship?

   r7CokDU8ZLs=

   2. Write a brief reflection paper analyzing how you engage in relationship maintenance. Pick a close relationship in your life (romance, family member, or friendship), and describe typical interactions that you have with that person. How often do you communicate in ways that bolster and undermine positivity, assurances, and self-disclosure? Provide specific examples. How does this communication impact the relationship—positively and negatively? How can the relational maintenance tactics help you improve your relationship?