When you’re communicating, everything you say and do counts—and is connected to what comes after. There are no “take-backs” or do-overs. That’s why it’s so important to know how to make good communication choices.

In the 2014 film Wild (one of Steve’s fave films ever), Reese Witherspoon plays Cheryl Strayed, a woman who solo hikes the Pacific Coast Trail, trying to overcome the emotional devastation of her mother’s death. Throughout her journey, Cheryl recalls encounters with her mother, whose choice to adopt an always-cheery attitude was both inspirational and irritating: “What’s wrong with you?” “I’m happy—happy people sing!” “Why are you happy—we have nothing, Mom, nothing!” “We’re rich in love!” But toward the end of the film, Cheryl recalls the most memorable of her mother’s messages: “There is a sunrise and a sunset every day—you can choose to put yourself in the way of beauty!”

Each of us can experience a metaphorical sunrise or sunset every day of our lives—those brief moments of opportunity where we can watch something unfold before us that is breathtaking and awe-inspiring. It can happen when you’re having a casual conversation with a new acquaintance and you suddenly sense a special kinship between you—that a deep friendship may emerge. It can happen when you’re on a team and everything begins to click, and you have the thrill of knowing that you’re going to have an incredible, winning season. Or it can happen while speaking in front of prospective clients when you realize that your presentation is coming together exactly as you’d hoped—and that you’re going to acquire this account.

Though these sunrise/sunset examples are just brief moments, they illustrate two serious points that together form the central theme of this book. First, within each of these sunrise/sunset moments, what empowers us is choice. We have the choice to put ourselves in any situation, and the choice to communicate in whatever way we wish once we’re in it. And second, the choices that we make are powerfully connected to the outcomes that follow.

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