6.4 How to Communicate: Perceiving Nonverbal Messages
144
HOW TO COMMUNICATE| Video Skills
PERCEIVING NONVERBAL MESSAGES
One way to improve your communication competence is by adapting your messages to others’ behaviors. Learn how to navigate difficult conversations by completing the How to Communicate video activity below.
CONSIDER THIS:
While on a Skype video call with a long-
WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
The following advice illustrates how to use perception-
Download transcript
DESCRIBE YOUR OBSERVATIONS in neutral terms, being as specific as possible and using “I” language in explaining your perceptions. (“While I was talking, I thought I saw you frown, roll your eyes, and look down.”)
145
EXPRESS YOUR CONCERNS about her nonverbal communication, framing her behavior as “it” rather than “your actions” and emphasizing that your concern derives from admiration. (“I respect you and your opinion enormously, and so I’m concerned that it might have been in response to what I was sharing with you.”)
DIRECTLY ASK her about the meaning of her nonverbal communication, making sure to use “I” language and suggesting several possibilities so that it’s not a “yes/no” question. (“Were the behaviors I noticed because of what I was saying or something else entirely?”)