One of the first phrases that eighteen-month-old Josie learned to use was “thank you.” Had this toddler already mastered the rules of etiquette? Was she just picking up a habit from her parents? Or was she learning that certain phrases would help her get things she wants: a compliment, a smile, a cookie?

We all learn isolated words and grammar as we acquire language. Josie, for example, probably picked up the expression “thank you” from her parents, her older brother, or her babysitter. But to become a competent communicator, she must learn to use this and other symbols appropriately. If Josie uses “thank you” as the name for her stuffed bear, she’s not using it appropriately, so she’s not communicating effectively. Communication acquisition requires that we learn individual words in a language but also how to use that language appropriately and effectively in various contexts. And just as Josie gets a smile from her parents for saying “thank you,” we must use language competently to achieve our goals.

Researchers have identified five competencies (Wood, 1982) focusing on how language behaviors function for people: controlling, informing, feeling, imagining, and ritualizing. We all develop these competencies when we’re young, by interacting with family and peers and observing television and other media. These competencies remain important throughout our lives. For that reason, in the following section we look at them more closely.