Perception: Making Sense of Your World

Page 30

It’s eight o’clock on a Wednesday night, and a roomful of singles are gathered at an Atlanta hot spot for an interesting event: over the next hour and a half, each woman will be introduced to no fewer than twenty eligible men. The problem: she’ll have only three minutes with each. Every pair will divulge their first names, perhaps their occupations, where they’re from, and why they’re there.

Speed dating has become popular in many metropolitan areas.¹ Organized by upstart companies that promise to screen applicants and put together large groups of potentially compatible singles, the event is arranged so that each person meets anywhere from ten to twenty potential mates. They spend usually less than ten minutes with each to see if there is any “chemistry.” But how much can one person learn about another in just a few minutes?

Actually, first impressions can generate quite a bit of information. Irina might tell Adam that she’s thirty-one, is a public-relations executive, was born in Milwaukee but has lived in Atlanta for nine years, and has a passion for film noir. Adam might hear all this but also notice that Irina is tall and attractive, that she makes steady eye contact, and that she has assertive mannerisms. This information might lead him to draw conclusions: for example, “She’s probably more successful than I am.” Adam might also notice that Irina is what he considers a “funky” dresser—she wears lots of brightly colored bead jewelry along with her conservative business suit. This, and her mention of film noir, puts him off a bit; he wonders if she’s an “artsy” type. His last girlfriend was into art and was always dragging him to gallery openings that he found painfully boring and pretentious. He feels a little intimidated by Irina and decides that they probably aren’t compatible.

Even during brief encounters—like Adam’s meeting with Irina—we get bombarded with information: the other person’s words, tone of voice, facial expressions, degree of eye contact. Through communication processing, we gather, organize, and evaluate all this information. Although we receive information through our senses, this is just the beginning of the process. How we interpret that information is unique to each of us, influenced by how we select and organize it.