Regulating Interactions

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Nonverbal cues are also used in regulating or coordinating verbal interaction; they help us navigate the back-and-forth of communication. For example, if you pause after saying “Hello” when answering your phone, you are offering the person on the other end a chance to self-identify and explain the purpose of the call. Face to face, you may hold your hand up while speaking to signal that you don’t want to be interrupted. Raising your hand in a face-to-face classroom setting lets your professor know that you have a question or information to share. Slouching or sitting back may indicate that you don’t want to speak or are waiting for someone else to contribute before you get involved.

If conversational regulation doesn’t go smoothly, there can be negative consequences. For example, if you successfully interrupt others when they are speaking, you may gain influence, but they may like you less. This is particularly true for women who interrupt, as social conventions hold that they should be polite and meek in conversation. On the other hand, if you allow interruptions, others may perceive you as less influential (Farley, 2008). Naturally, the situational context plays a role. It’s a more serious infraction to interrupt (or to be interrupted) during a debate or a business meeting, whereas some interruption is acceptable during casual conversation with friends.