Strategies for Managing Conflict

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In certain conflict situations, such as a competition for a piece of pie, the people involved can resolve the conflict—that is, bring it to an end—in just seconds. But when the conflict is more complex or when a seemingly simple disagreement is a symptom of a larger problem between people, resolving the situation will require more time and thought. If Leslie is growing resentful of always having to share everything with Kathy—her room, her friends, her laptop, her clothes—their conflict is bigger than a piece of pie. Resolving it may require a more involved approach, such as honest, lengthy dialogue about Leslie’s resentments and possible ways for her to have more things she can call her own. The strategies we use for managing conflict, be they simple or complicated, generally fall into one of three basic categories: escapist, challenging, or cooperative (see Table 8.1).

A number of strategies might be employed to manage any conflict. To get an initial sense of these strategies, let’s consider a common, very simplistic scenario: Leslie is sitting with her twin sister, Kathy, at the dinner table after a family meal. There’s one last piece of key lime pie, and both sisters want it.