Escapist Strategies

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One way for Leslie to manage the conflict is to make a decision to avoid it and let Kathy have the pie, even though she really wants it for herself. Through such escapist strategies, people try to prevent or avoid direct conflict. Perhaps they want to steer clear of a confrontation because they’re afraid a direct conflict would hurt the other person or the relationship. Or maybe they wish to postpone dealing with the conflict until a more convenient time, when they can talk at length about it with the other person. Another reason for selecting this type of strategy might be to force the other person to raise the issue instead of having to do so themselves.

In certain situations, escapist strategies can be harmless and practical, offering a quick resolution to issues that are relatively unimportant (like pie), and can help maintain relationships that might be damaged if conflict erupted over every little thing. Stafford (2010) found that couples in long-distance relationships engage in greater conflict avoidance than couples in geographically close relationships but notes that this strategy is effective for long-distance partners’ relational maintenance because it minimizes differences and maximizes positive affect. But such strategies may be unproductive if they continually prevent people from dealing with issues that need addressing: if Leslie always defers to Kathy, for example, resentment is likely to brew between the sisters. The pie could become a tipping point for a larger issue. In fact, recent research has found that continual avoidance of conflict in families negatively affects family strength and satisfaction (Schrodt, 2009).