Separation

Separation

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Many people stay in jobs they hate because they fear the unknown. But this way, nobody wins: you’re unhappy and you do your job poorly, which affects those who depend on you.

By contrast, individuals who quit jobs opt for a different outcome: separation. Removing oneself from a situation or relationship is a clear way to end a conflict without necessarily creating clear wins or losses for either party. For example, suppose you’re renting an apartment from a friend who, as the landlord, never repairs burst pipes or fixes the fridge when it breaks, even though you pay your rent on time every month. You’ve tried to reason with him; you’ve even tried to guilt him into reimbursing you for the money you’ve spent on repairs he should have paid for. But nothing has worked. In this case, the best resolution to this conflict may be to simply pack up your things and move.

THINGS TO TRY

This week, if you have a disagreement with a friend, roommate, romantic partner, family member, or boss, identify one change you could make to manage and resolve the conflict more productively. For example, could you suggest a compromise? Could you look for a broader range of promising solutions to your disagreement?