As she reviewed her first draft, Caitlin worried that a particularly important passage felt less interesting than it should:

Anytime our group slowed down or started to get tired, Marco would yell to us to keep going, and suddenly we were revived. He knew everything about Rome, and everywhere we went, he knew someone. He loved his city and loved sharing it with all of us.

By adding dialogue, she created a better sense of Marco’s personality and helped readers imagine themselves on a tour with him:

Anytime our group slowed down or started to get tired, Marco would yell, “Andiamo! (Let’s go!),” and suddenly we were revived. He knew everything about Rome, and everywhere we went, he knew someone. All day he was calling out to friends, “Ciao bella!” or “Come stai?” He loved his city and loved sharing it with all of us.