Chapter 1. Middle Childhood

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What is going on inside that cute little head? Review what we understand about brain development during middle childhood in this video.

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While middle childhood is one of the healthiest times of life, some children do have some major or minor health challenges. {model.babyName}, as you know, has struggled with {model.start_paragraph}.

Like most kids {model.baby_his_her} age, {model.babyName} is in excellent health. Middle childhood tends to be one of the healthiest times of the whole lifespan.

But {model.babyProviderName} is worried that {model.babyName} is a bit heavy for {model.baby_his_her} age and height. Childhood overweight can cause kids a number of health problems later in childhood and in adulthood.

Something scary happened to {model.babyName} a few weeks ago. You had to take {model.baby_him_her} to the emergency room because {model.baby_he_she} just couldn’t seem to catch {model.baby_his_her} breath and stop coughing. {model.baby_He_She_cap} has always had allergies but this time you were really scared. The ER team said {model.baby_he_she} definitely had asthma. {model.shortbabyProviderName} is going to keep a close eye on {model.baby_him_her} and make sure {model.baby_he_she} has the medication {model.baby_he_she} needs to manage this.

At this visit, {model.shortbabyProviderName} also tested {model.babyName}’s vision. Thankfully, {model.babyName} doesn’t need glasses—one less thing to worry about.

At this visit, {model.shortbabyProviderName} also tested {model.babyName}’s vision. {model.babyName}’s vision is perfect! {model.baby_He_She_cap} could read the eye chart up and down without any troubles.

At this visit, {model.shortbabyProviderName} also tested {model.babyName}’s vision. Apparently {model.babyName} is going to need glasses! You reassure {model.babyName} that he will just look like Harry Potter!

At this visit, {model.shortbabyProviderName} also tested {model.babyName}’s vision. Apparently {model.babyName} is going to need glasses!

But {model.babyProviderName} is worried that {model.babyName} is a bit heavy for {model.baby_his_her} age and height. Childhood overweight can cause kids a number of health problems later in childhood and in adulthood. {model.babyProvider_He_She_cap} is concerned that {model.babyName} is eating too much unhealthy food—and eating a more balanced diet would help control {model.baby_his_her} weight gain.

Explain

Most kids are healthy and feel that they are in exceptional health during middle childhood.

Some kids—who may still feel like they are in excellent health—continue to struggle with their weight in middle childhood, particularly children who are from lower income families and who are African-American or Hispanic. But the best ways to keep kids from becoming overweight—and to help them with their weight—seem to be to encourage more physical activity, keep them on a fairly balanced, healthy diet (low in junk food, high in fruits and vegetables) and try gathering for a family meal at dinner. This is a good time for families to come together, eat and establish some shared rituals which can help bolster parents and children in an often too busy and too hectic life.

Most kids aren’t getting enough exercise or activity every day. This can be for many reasons—maybe they are not enrolled in an organized sports program, or because their parents feel it isn’t safe for them to play alone outside after school, or they can’t afford to enroll them in an after-school activity, or because they simply prefer to be inside playing video games.

Most kids get exercise at some point during the week, and almost half are getting exercise nearly every day.

Children start getting involved in sports in first or second grade—earlier for kids from wealthier families.

The research on family meals is complex. While family meals are certainly not the magic answer to all family problems, they seem to be a good thing that families can aspire to do together. Families who eat together also tend to struggle less with being overweight and tend to have more communication, and less depression, in adolescence. So it seems like a trend worth trying out! And most families are eating together most of the time—although this number seems to lessen as kids grow older.

Asthma is one of the most common chronic illnesses in young children—with almost fifteen percent of kids having been diagnosed with asthma at some point during childhood. It can cause difficulty breathing—which can range from coughing to serious asthma attacks that can end up in hospitalization. Asthma can be well controlled with medication intervention for asthma attacks–like “rescue inhalers”–but kids with asthma still end up missing more school than other children and many limit their outdoor and athletic activities because they are concerned about exposure to allergens or other triggers to asthma attacks. Asthma tends to occur in poor kids more than wealthy ones—perhaps because pollution, smoking and poor air quality are common risk factors—and tends to vary across ethnic groups.

While experts advise that all children should receive a vision screening—and hopefully more than once before they start kindergarten—many have not. Vision screening can help kids with easily correctable problems and can help children who require glasses get the tools they need to be successful in school. Not being able to see can make it difficult to learn to read—for kids who have trouble with close-up vision—and also to make friends—for kids who have trouble seeing things far away and may not recognize a friend smiling or waving from across the lunch room. In general, children with more family income tend to be more likely to receive vision screening. And of these kids, about one-quarter need glasses.

Do kids who are already in elementary school still get vaccinated? Yes, there are some boosters and the annual flu vaccine. Also, kids who weren’t immunized earlier have a chance to catch up at this visit. Remember that most kids are immunized. Despite the publicity given to parents who “opt out” of immunization, the vast majority of children are immunized and fewer than 2% refuse vaccinations because of a philosophical or religious reason. However, in certain pockets of the country, more than 10% of children are not vaccinated, making outbreaks of diseases like whooping cough or measles increasingly common.

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Look Inside

What is going on inside that cute little head? Review what we understand about brain development during middle childhood in this video.

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Explain

Just because your child is still willing to fight with {model.baby_his_her} friend over the exact same amount of juice doesn’t mean that {model.baby_he_she} is not bright. {model.baby_He_She_cap} just focused on the wrong aspect of the problem and {model.baby_he_she} hasn’t quite graduated to more adult logic. Children in the preoperational stage will look at this classic conservation task and focus on the shape of the glass, rather than remembering that the amount of liquid is the same no matter what shape it is in. Younger children tend to make a number of errors in this task that are characteristic of preoperational thinking.

• They tend to concentrate—or fixate—on one aspect of the problem (like the shape of the glass) instead of looking at the bigger aspects of the task.
• They don’t understand that liquid (or solids, for that matter) tend not to magically appear or disappear. They don’t understand that the amount of liquid will be conserved or stay the same in this problem.

Older children tend to be able to look beyond these problems and understand that no more liquid was added (or taken away), no matter the shape of the glass. As they grow older, they’ll be able to demonstrate their ability to use logic (helpful in making arguments for what they want as well as doing things like math at school) and their ability to think from other people’s points of view (which is also useful in trying to get what they want).

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Look Inside

Around the age of 7 or 8, the essence of game playing is to follow the rules. A younger child may be happy to have "4 strikes" in a softball game, but older children have an intense desire to master the rules of games. This concern for rules reflects both increased cognitive capacity—children can remember complicated rules—and a changing sense of self that includes external standards set by adults and peers, e.g., "I can do that as well as anyone!"

Review what we understand about intelligence and intelligence testing in middle childhood in this video.

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You’ve been a bit worried about how {model.babyName} was doing in school, so you were relieved when {model.teacherName_gr2}, {model.baby_his_her} second grade teacher, suggested that {model.babyName} get an evaluation to check for any learning challenges.

Your child’s second grade teacher, {model.teacherName_gr2}, has been worried that {model.babyName} isn’t quite keeping up with the other kids. {model.baby_He_She_cap} seems to have trouble staying focused. {model.baby_He_She_cap} stares off into space while the other children are {model.MC3_tasks}. {model.teacherName_gr2} is worried that {model.baby_he_she} may have a specific learning disorder and has recommended that {model.baby_he_she} be evaluated by the school psychologist.

The school psychologist, {model.MC3_psychologistName}, tested {model.babyName}, and reported that {model.baby_he_she} does have {model.ADHD_level} Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity disorder.

Your child’s second grade teacher, {model.teacherName_gr2}, has been worried that {model.babyName} isn’t quite keeping up with the other kids. {model.baby_He_She_cap} seems to be sad and extremely quiet in class. When the other children are playing together, {model.baby_he_she} seems to hold back and sometimes bursts into tears. {model.teacherName_gr2} is worried that {model.baby_he_she} may have some emotional problems and has recommended that {model.baby_he_she} be evaluated by the school psychologist.

The school psychologist, {model.MC3_psychologistName}, tested {model.babyName}, and reported that {model.baby_he_she} does seem to be {model.MC3_depressed_anxious}. {model.MC3_psychologistName} recommends that {model.baby_he_she} have some follow up visits with a therapist to work with both of you to help {model.baby_him_her} feel better.

{model.babyName}’s second grade teacher, {model.teacherName_gr2}, has been worried about {model.babyName}’s behavior in class. Apparently {model.baby_he_she} has been pushing other children and losing {model.baby_his_her} temper easily with the children sitting next to {model.baby_him_her} in circle. {model.teacherName_gr2} is worried that {model.babyName} may have some emotional problems and may be bullying other children and has recommended that {model.baby_he_she} be evaluated by the school psychologist.

The school psychologist, {model.MC3_psychologistName}, tested {model.babyName} and reported that {model.baby_he_she} does seem to have some issues with aggression and anger. {model.baby_He_She_cap} might even meet the diagnosis for oppositional defiant disorder. {model.PN2_shortdoctorName_He_She_cap} recommends that {model.babyName} have some follow up visits with a therapist to work with both of you to help {model.baby_him_her} with {model.baby_his_her} anger and both of you work better together—a better relationship with you can help make {model.babyName} better manage {model.baby_his_her} anger and behavior at school.

Welcome to second grade! This year, {model.babyName} has {model.teacherName_gr2} at {model.nEC9_neighborhood_school} and is working hard at improving {model.baby_his_her} reading and math skills.

You got an invitation from the school to have {model.babyName} evaluated by a school psychologist. Apparently they are working on a study on children’s intelligence and looking for some children to test. They’re offering families a gift certificate to a pizza restaurant and promise it will be fun—and informative. You figure that it might be interesting to see how {model.babyName} lines up, so you said yes.

Explain

Regular testing is a fact of life for many children in elementary school. But some students may also be given individualized testing, usually because they're having difficulty at school or because they’ve been identified as potentially gifted.

Intelligence tests evaluate memory, the ability to solve problems verbally and non-verbally, and the speed of taking in and repeating back information. This information is pulled together into a global score of intellectual ability, or the IQ score. IQ scores fall into a bell shaped curve; half the population falls in the average range, with one quarter below the average and the other quarter above.

Intelligence tests can reveal a child’s intellectual strengths and weaknesses. Children who score high on such tests may be bored by the average curriculum, and their school work may suffer. More often, intelligence tests identify areas of concern, such as intellectual or learning disabilities. A learning disability is suspected when a student's intelligence test results exceed their achievement test results. While testing has an important role to play in keeping children supported and challenged, it’s equally important to remember that there is more to success than a number.

Between five and ten percent of children in school are considered to have specific learning disabilities: about 2/3 of them are boys. Children with specific learning disabilities tend to have some significant challenges as they grow. About half end up with some disciplinary problems in school, and one-third are held back a grade. Almost one in five end up dropping out of school before they graduate. And, most disturbingly, almost half of kids with specific learning disabilities end up having criminal problems in young adulthood. Not doing well in school can be a challenge for children as they grow up—making the need for early and effective intervention particularly important.

Other children receive evaluations at school because of suspected emotional or behavioral problems. Common emotional and behavioral problems include anxiety disorders, depression and disorders like oppositional defiant disorder or conduct disorder. Children with ODD and CD need special attention. While most of them will “grow out” of their challenges, many will end up in adulthood with long term problems with anger, empathy and social relationships. And having ODD means they have an increased risk of ending up in the criminal justice system as a child or an adult.

Children with disabilities are offered special services in U.S. Schools and are legally entitled to an Individualized Educational Program (or an IEP). These children with learning challenges—from dyslexia to ADHD—may have particular challenges as school work becomes more difficult. Children battling difficulties with emotional regulation that make it difficult for them to focus may also have troubles in school. And children from poor and/or stressed families may not have the resources at home, or at school, to succeed.

View Intelligence Test Score Report

As you see, {model.babyName}’s performance was solidly in the {model.MC3_general_IQ_range} range.

Typically, when a psychologist tests a child with an intelligence test or an aptitude test, they will also give the child an achievement test. The intelligence, or aptitude, test is supposed to measure a child’s innate abilities, while the achievement test measures what they’ve learned in school. Children with specific learning disabilities will show significant differences between their aptitude and achievement test scores. For example, a child who scores in the above average range in verbal intelligence on an intelligence test but scores in the below average range in a reading test may have a specific learning disability related to reading.

Remember that performance on intelligence tests can change over time—particularly in children. The brain is plastic and can change. Enrichment and practice can change how a child does on a test. For example, a child who starts attending an intensive academically-strenuous high school may see an improvement in their intelligence test scores as well as their achievement test scores. Also remember that the brain can be affected in bad ways, too—an accident or a concussion could alter the brain negatively. So remind your child to wear a helmet when riding a bike.

Look Inside

Children's memory and problem solving improves dramatically after 6 or 7 years of age, in part because increased myelination of neurons in the frontal cortex yields faster information processing. Faster processing means that more information can be held in working memory. This greater capacity in working memory makes it possible to mentally represent and transform more complex problems.

Children are better able to make mental plans and follow directions in middle childhood. Underlying this capacity is the increased synchronization of the electrical activity of the frontal cortex and other parts of the brain, also known as EEG coherence.

After 6 or 7 years of age, the speech and behavior of a child seems more focused and self-controlled. Brain changes around this time reflect these behavioral observations. After age 7, the percentage of theta brain wave activity—characteristic of rest and daydreaming—decreases, while the percentage of alpha wave activity—characteristic of focused attention of problem solving—increases.

Review what we understand about intelligence and intelligence testing in middle childhood in this video.

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Explain

The decision about where to educate children is one of the most important choices parents can make for their children. Schools can determine not only the type of education children receive, but also their peers—who will be their best friend or their number one “frenemy” throughout these important years.

The vast majority of parents send their children to traditional public schools—but even within public schools, parents have some areas of choice. Parents can choose to move to a neighborhood to find a better school. More than a quarter of parents report that they’ve moved so that their children can attend a specific school (NCES, 2008). And almost 1 in 5 parents report that their child attends a “chosen” public school—one other than their neighborhood school (NCES, 2008).

Why do parents change schools? Sometimes because the new school is just more convenient. But more frequently because the school is seen to be academically superior—the students get better test scores, the classes are smaller, or the school is seen to be more disciplined. In some communities, magnet or charter schools exist within the public school system to give parents some choices. And some parents choose to pay tuition (or can use a voucher in special circumstances) to send their children to private schools (NCES, 1995). These schools can be either religious or secular—and parents who are willing to pay tuition are generally motivated by finding a school that is more in line with their religious beliefs, safer and academically more appropriate for their child (Davis, 2011).

Outcomes for private schools—and charter and magnet schools—vary by type of school and students enrolled. But students tend to do better on standardized tests—and more children who attend private schools tend to go on to college. Researchers believe that this isn’t necessarily because the schools are better than traditional public schools (although some may be), but that students whose parents are paying tuition are probably coming from a home with high academic expectations.

Some parents choose to homeschool their children. Common reasons for homeschooling include perceived problems with other school options or a desire to provide a religious or ethical education (Noel, A., Stark, P., and Redford, J., 2013).

And are parents happy with the choices they’ve made? For the most part, they seem to be. But parents who are paying tuition to private schools tend to be happier than those who are sending their children to their local public school.

Look Inside

Review what we know about schooling during middle childhood and how it might help your little one develop in this video.

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You didn’t want to think this day would come. You’d always thought in the back of your mind that maybe one day things would end in wedding bells, but things have been difficult for the past few months between you and {model.partnerName}. You are breaking up. {model.partnerName} is going to move into an apartment nearby.

You can read more about the risk factors for separation and divorce in the Explain and Learn More—think about what might have contributed to this situation.

{model.babyName} is just {model.childData.age.years} years old. About {model.divorceRate} separate or divorce among kids’ {model.baby_his_her} age.

You didn’t want to think this day would come. When you got married you thought it was forever. But things have been difficult for the past few months between you and {model.partnerName}. You are breaking up. {model.partnerName} is going to move into an apartment nearby.

You can read more about the risk factors for separation and divorce in the Explain and Learn More—think about what might have contributed to this situation.

{model.babyName} is just {model.childData.age.years} years old. About {model.divorceRate} separate or divorce among kids’ {model.baby_his_her} age.

{model.babyName}’s best friend’s parents are breaking up. You were shocked to hear it, but you heard that they just haven’t been getting along and that they are moving into separate apartments. To read more about the risk factors for separation and divorce in the Explain and Learn More articles.

This child is just the same age as {model.babyName}. About {model.divorceRate} separate or divorce among kids’ {model.baby_his_her} age.

Your best friend is breaking up with {model.user_his_her} partner. You were shocked to hear it, but {model.user_he_she} tells you that they just hadn’t been getting along and that they are moving into separate apartments. {model.user_he_she_cap} has a son your child’s age. To read more about the risk factors for separation and divorce in the Explain and Learn More articles.

This child is just the same age as {model.babyName}. About {model.divorceRate} separate or divorce among kids’ {model.baby_his_her} age.

Explain

Children, particularly young children, often undergo family transitions. As you’ll see in the chart, fewer than half of all children live in married, two-parent households. And almost 3 out of 10 children undergo a family transition before they start kindergarten.

While every romantic break-up is different in its own way, researchers have identified some common risk and protective factors for separation and divorce. We’ll separate these characteristics by context, couple characteristics and individual characteristics.

Risk Factors for relationship instability

• Context:
  • Living in a stressful environment, including struggling financially can raise the risk of separation.
• Couple:
  • Every couple has disagreements, but having a pattern of volatile, hostile interactions increases the risk of breaking up.
  • As you’ll see in the figure below, getting together when you are younger—like under 22—or much older (like after 40) are also risk factors for breaking up.
  • In the United States, cohabiting (or living together) rather than being legally married seems to be associated with higher chance of breaking up.
• Individual:
  • Having a personal history of exposure to separation and divorce in your own family can make it easier for parents to contemplate breaking up.
  • Having a personality that is less conscientious or easy to get along with also increases the risk of separation or divorce.
  • A history of secure attachment styles with your own parents also makes it less likely that you will experience a separation or divorce.

Protective Factors for relationship stability

• Cultural, community or religious beliefs that prohibit or discourage divorce or separation make it much less likely that you will separate. This doesn’t necessarily mean that your relationships will be happier (although some research does indicate that this may be the case in some families), but that you will stick it out.
• Higher education. For some reason, the more education you have, the less likely you are to break up. This could be because people with more education tend to have higher incomes or that people who stick it out through college are more likely to commit to a marriage for the long term.

Separation and divorce inevitably cause some stresses in a family. From having to move, to changes in routines, changing parental relationships can be difficult on parents and children. In the short-term children who are undergoing family turmoil can be more depressed, do worse in school and feel badly about themselves. Families can be under particular stress if the break-up causes financial strain, as is often the case, as families try and provide for two households on an income that used to provide for just one. And in breakups with ongoing major conflict (estimated to be less than 20 percent), the continuing emotional and legal battles can be devastating for the entire family—and have long term repercussions for everyone’s happiness and mental health.

In the long term, parents can do a great deal to buffer children from the stresses of divorce or separation. Continuing to have a close, warm, authoritative parenting style and being able to focus on children’s needs—rather than the stresses of parents—seems to help children thrive and grow after a divorce. If parents are able to manage the separation well, most children seem to be able to do just as well as other children into adulthood.

What should happen to children after separation or divorce? Children benefit from ongoing, multiple attachments with parents and parent-figures, whether biological, adoptive or step-parents. In most cases, a shared parenting situation—including substantial time with both parents (including overnights) seems to work best for children—allowing them to create meaningful ongoing relationships with both parents (Warshak et al, 2014).

However, not all parenting and family situations are ideal. The vast majority of divorces end up to be fairly neutral or even friendly after the initial stress of the separation—but some remain profoundly conflictual. In other families, one or both of the parents may be struggling with mental health or substance abuse challenges. In some there may have been abuse or domestic violence. In other families, one of the parents may not have had any meaningful contact with the child—and may not have even cohabitated with the child before the official, legal separation. In these cases, what is best for children is not always clear. While children benefit from ongoing attachment relationships with all their parents—their emotional and physical safety is also critical. Building relationships that may have been damaged takes time and avoiding a perpetuation of significant parental conflict is also helpful for the ongoing health of the entire family unit. In situations like these, there are rarely easy answers—and very often there are not enough legal, financial or emotional resources to help these families through what can be lengthy and trying times.

In general, kids seem to do better with fewer transitions. However, particularly for young children, like infants and toddlers under 3, it is important to have frequent contact—if parents can only see their children once a week or on weekends, it is often not frequent enough to sustain a relationship. Longer visits allow children and parents time to get used to each other.

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It has been a long time since you and {model.partnerName} broke up. You never imagined that the fighting would go on this long. You are just about as upset about {model.partnerHimHer} as you were the day {model.partnerHeShe} left for the first time. Everything seems to be a fight. Birthdays. Holidays. Where {model.babyName} should go to school. What kind of after school activities you should pay for. {model.babyName} goes to see {model.partnerName} every week but seeing {model.baby_him_her} go brings up all the disagreements.

It has been a long time since you and {model.partnerName} broke up. You never imagined that this would become the new normal. But {model.babyName} has seemed to adjust nicely—and actually you and {model.partnerName} are getting along. {model.babyName} has been able to maintain a great relationship with both of you and you feel really proud of that.

You’ve actually started seeing someone new. What do you think about introducing {model.babyName} to your new {model.partnerGirlfriendBoyfriend}.

Explain

Life after a divorce or separation depends on how much conflict the parents are going through. Most parents are able to move beyond the conflict in a year or so. But about 20 percent linger in corrosive conflict for longer—with potentially harmful effects on children. Most experts advise trying to enlist a mediator, family therapist, religious elder or respected family member to help cool down the fighting and help put the family first.

While many children can thrive in single-parent households, households with more adults tend to have more income, which can help. And parents tend to benefit from stable, committed intimate relationships—being with a loving partner can help adults buffer stress and parent better. However, millions of single mothers do an amazing job every day raising successful children.

It is very common for separated or divorced adults to re-couple. About 15 percent of children live in a “blended” family where the parents have legally remarried to a new partner. Many others live in families with two adults who are less formally partnered.

Children seem to thrive on stable, committed relationships with adults—whether biological, adoptive or step-parents. Step-parents—a term that is often used by children and adults to refer to anyone who takes a parent role with children, regardless of whether they are legally married to a biological parent—can benefit children if they have strong, attached and long-term committed relationships.

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Explain

Most children in United States have at least one sibling—and potentially more biological or step-siblings.

Some siblings are just months apart in age and other can be separated by decades. As you can see in the figure below, most children are less than five years apart. Medical experts advise that women—and their babies—will be healthiest if they wait at least a year after giving birth before getting pregnant again.

Researchers who have looked at the school performance of siblings have noted that first children tend to do better in school—and that younger children tend to do better in school if there is a bigger age gap between children. First children tend to get more attention than children who are born later—but much of this extra time comes in the first few years, so waiting a few years before having a second child may make sure that the second child gets enough attention.

The relationship between siblings can be an important way for children to practice relating and getting along. Relationships between siblings may be close—or distant—and siblings can teach each other good, or bad lessons. Challenging relationships with siblings can make development challenging—but loving relationships can be a buffer and a support for a lifetime. Making sure that young children learn how to manage conflict and their emotions with their siblings can be an important place for your children to learn how to relate to their friends and others outside of your family.

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Look Inside

Review what scientists understand about moral development during middle childhood in this video.

You go to a convention for homeschool parents and sit in on a talk given by a developmental psychologist on moral development—how your child develops the ability to understand right from wrong.

The psychologist introduces the story of Heinz’s Dilemma which is often used by researchers to evaluate where individual children are in the development of their moral reasoning. Just as children’s thinking and emotions develop over time, their moral reasoning changes as they grow up. Many researchers see the stages of Lawrence Kohlberg as one helpful way of understanding the changes in children’s moral reasoning over time.

You’re at an open house at {model.babyName}’s school. {model.teacherName_gr3}, your child’s third grade teacher, is giving a presentation on moral development—how your child develops the ability to understand right from wrong.

{model.teacherName_gr3} introduces the story of Heinz’s Dilemma, which is often used by researchers to evaluate where individual children are in the development of their moral reasoning. Just as children’s thinking and emotions develop over time, their moral reasoning changes as they grow up. Many researchers see the stages of Lawrence Kohlberg as one helpful way of understanding the changes in children’s moral reasoning over time.

Explain

Lawrence Kolhberg’s theory of moral development is a way of understanding how children make decisions about right and wrong. There are a number of factors that come into play when they make moral or ethical decisions, including their level of cognitive development, their culture, personal experience or level of empathy. Kolhberg’s theory focuses on children’s cognitive development and how it influences how children use logic to think through moral choices.

One of the benefits of looking at children’s moral thinking as it develops over time is that it helps adults to understand why children’s moral decisions can be quite baffling at times. Why would your otherwise kind 6-year-old tell Heinz to abandon his wife and let her die? Does this mean that your child is going to end up a cold killer?

Moral thinking reminds adults that children’s understanding of right and wrong changes over time and is limited by their ability to understand and think abstractly about the world around them. Just because your child seems ego-centric and self-centered in talking about moral issues doesn’t mean they will always be that way. It doesn’t mean that they aren’t moral—it may mean that their thinking is just immature.

The way children use moral reasoning tends to reflect their stage of cognitive development. Younger children (younger than 8) tend to use preconventional moral thinking, a stage of moral thinking that mirrors Piaget’s pre-operational stage of children’s thinking. In the pre-operational stage, children have trouble thinking of things from a perspective other than their own and they tend to be very literal and concrete. In their moral thinking, they tend to respond to the Heinz Dilemma in a very self-centered way—thinking about ways that Heinz can benefit (like by avoiding jail or having his wife around to take care of him).

By the time they reach the concrete operational stage, at about age 7, children have more ability to think abstractly and beyond their own experience. Your child may have developed a fairly nuanced understanding of this problem. Some children at this age are able to think more abstractly and less egocentrically about moral issues. In the conventional moral reasoning stage, abstract social rules, like “stealing is wrong” are central, and greater empathy for individual situations and people has developed.

And by the time children reach adolescence or adulthood, they have more ability to think from other people’s points of views and about abstract social issues. They can think about what is best for society as a whole and about greater social issues of right and wrong. They can reach what is called the post-conventional stage of moral reasoning. When they reach post-conventional moral reasoning, adults not only think abstractly and beyond themselves—thinking in terms of costs or benefits for society as a whole—they also think about true universals of right and wrong. For example, an adult might reason that we live in a world with laws and rules for things like paying for life-saving medicine. Another adult might reason that the pharmacist has a right to be compensated for their work and the risk they’ve taken in setting up a business. And adults can measure competing rights and obligations, by even evaluating that sometimes what is right for one person—like charging a lot for medicine—isn’t right for another person who may be on the brink of death. And they can also evaluate the levels of obligation and rights (an even greater level of abstraction), by doing things like measuring whether the right to life is more important than the right to sell medication at a high price.

Some critics of Kohlberg worry that not everyone always reaches this post-conventional stage—at least not all of the time—but whether these stages are universal or even if we all move between them in evaluating particular moral decisions, these labels give us a powerful way of interpreting and evaluating children’s moral decision-making.

And here’s a reminder of where your child is in {model.baby_his_her} Kohlberg stage.

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You’re lucky that {model.babyName}’s third grade teacher, {model.teacherName_gr3}, happens to be getting a graduate degree in {model.grad_degree}. Today at the open house, {model.teacher_gr3_he_she} showed all the parents an illustration {model.teacher_gr3_he_she}’d created for one of {model.teacher_gr3_his_her} college courses.

{model.babyName} has been attending a homeschoolers’ cooperative in order to spend more time with other children and to get some additional instruction from other homeschooling parents. You’re lucky that one of the parents, {model.teacherName_gr3}, happens to be getting a graduate degree in {model.grad_degree}. Today {model.teacher_gr3_he_she} showed you an illustration of the friendships within the class that {model.teacher_gr3_he_she}’d made for one of {model.teacher_gr3_his_her} college courses.

Explain

Friendships are one of the joys of childhood. But, for some children, they don’t come easily. And for these children, the playground can be a battleground. When researchers talk to children, they identify a number of types of children in the classroom and on the playground.

Some children are popular. In the early elementary school years, these children are ones with good social skills who are liked by other children and not disliked by many. In social networks, they are connected to many other kids. However, just because a child is “popular,” or socially well-connected, doesn’t necessarily mean that, in the eyes of adults or teachers, they are perfect children. Aggressive or bullying children can also be popular, particularly in the later elementary school and middle school years.

Other children are rejected. Rejected children are those whom other kids just don’t find likeable. They can be children who are aggressive or children who are withdrawn or anxious. Either way, these are children who don’t have very many friends on the playground. In the case of children who are withdrawn and anxious, interventions can be helpful to encourage them to make more attempts to play with other children. More aggressive children, or children who have trouble with emotional regulation, may need help managing their feelings. And both sets of children might be well served with a refresher about basic social skills—how to take turns, how not to be too bossy, and how to respect other children’s opinions. Early intervention is important for these kids, since they will be at risk later in life for a number of problems, including poor school performance and various internalizing and externalizing disorders.

Still other children are neglected. In this case, this doesn’t mean that the children are abused at home—or neglected in that way—but that they’re ignored by the other children in class. When other children are asked about these kids, they tend to just be forgotten. These children tend to have poor social skills and potentially other challenges, like poor emotional regulation or mental health issues like depression. Again, intervention can be helpful to these kids to prevent social neglect from becoming something more serious.

And a few kids are what is called controversial—that is, the other kids just can’t decide what to make of them. Some kids really like them and some kids really dislike them. These, too, are children a parent or a teacher should keep a close eye on. They may be disliked or liked because they are particularly aggressive or have issues with emotional regulation. Getting to know these kids a bit better—and giving them some hands-on attention—may also help more intractable problems from developing later on.

Source: Social Network Profiles of Children in Early Elementary School Classrooms – by Jennifer A. Vu. Journal of Research in Childhood Education January-March 2014, Volume 28, no. 1, pp. 69-84. See more at: http://acei.org/volume-28-no-1/social-network-profiles-of-children-in-early-elementary-school-classrooms#sthash.SvVg69q7.dpuf

Look Inside

Compared to the preschool years, children in middle childhood are much more likely to have same-sex friends. Children find it easier to play with other children who have similar knowledge and interests. In addition, children become much more concerned with following group norms of behavior. Children who play exclusively with other children of the opposite sex tend to be less socially competent and less well-liked.

The biological changes associated with puberty begin in middle childhood with signals from the hypothalamus to the pituitary gland, which then secretes hormones that stimulate activity in the adrenal glands and gonads. This process begins around age 9 for girls and age 10 or 11 for boys. The dramatic bodily changes of puberty are still a year or two away.

This video reviews what we understand about friendship and peers in middle childhood.

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You were really impressed by how {model.babyName} could focus on {model.baby_his_her} work. This is an example of both {model.baby_his_her} selective attention and executive function. {model.baby_He_She_cap} also started focusing on the harder {model.MC7_activity} where {model.baby_he_she} had trouble. "I’m going to start with the ones that are really tough," {model.baby_he_she} said. You recognized this as an example of metacognition—{model.baby_his_her} ability to think about {model.baby_his_her} thinking and the task at hand.

You are really pleased to see how {model.babyName} has been using the skills {model.baby_he_she} has been learning to review {model.baby_his_her} {model.MC7_activity}. {model.babyName} seems to be really focusing on the task. This is an example of both {model.baby_his_her} selective attention and executive function. {model.baby_He_She_cap} also started focusing on the harder {model.MC7_activity} where {model.baby_he_she} had trouble. “I’m going to start with the ones that are really tough,” {model.baby_he_she} said. You recognized this as an example of metacognition—{model.baby_his_her} ability to think about {model.baby_his_her} thinking and the task at hand.

You are really pleased to see how {model.babyName} has been using the skills {model.baby_he_she} has been learning to review {model.baby_his_her} {model.MC7_activity}. You’ve told {model.babyName} that {model.baby_he_she} gets an extra sticker on {model.baby_his_her} sticker chart if {model.baby_he_she} studies and does well on the {model.MC7_activity} test. So model.babyName} seems to be really focusing on the task. This is an example of both {model.baby_his_her} selective attention and executive function. {model.baby_He_She_cap} also started focusing on the harder {model.MC7_activity} where {model.baby_he_she} had trouble. “I’m going to start with the ones that are really tough,” {model.baby_he_she} said. You recognized this as an example of metacognition—{model.baby_his_her} ability to think about {model.baby_his_her} thinking and the task at hand.

{model.babyName} doesn’t seem to be very interested in finishing up the worksheet on the {model.MC7_activity}. You are worried that {model.baby_he_she} doesn’t seem very focused on what {model.baby_he_she} is doing. At the last parent-teacher conference, {model.teacherName_gr3} reminded you that {model.babyName} should be able to focus more on {model.baby_his_her} work now that {model.baby_he_she} is in third grade. {model.baby_He_She_cap} should be developing selective attention and executive function—so {model.baby_he_she} can stay on task, especially for something that is boring like memorizing {model.MC7_activity}. {model.baby_He_She_cap} should also be developing some understanding of how to study. But {model.babyName} doesn’t seem to understand that {model.baby_he_she} should be focusing on the harder {model.MC7_activity1}. {model.baby_He_She_cap} is having trouble with metacognition—the ability to think about thinking.

{model.babyName} doesn’t seem to be very interested in finishing up the worksheet on the {model.MC7_activity}. You are worried that {model.baby_he_she} doesn’t seem very focused on what {model.baby_he_she} is doing. {model.babyName} should be able to focus more on {model.baby_his_her} work now that {model.baby_he_she} is in third grade. {model.baby_He_She_cap} should be developing selective attention and executive function—so {model.baby_he_she} can stay on task, especially for something that is boring like memorizing {model.MC7_activity}. {model.baby_He_She_cap} should also be developing some understanding of how to study. But {model.babyName} doesn’t seem to understand that {model.baby_he_she} should be focusing on the harder {model.MC7_activity1}. {model.baby_He_She_cap} is having trouble with metacognition—the ability to think about thinking.

Explain

In the United States, most third graders have homework and most parents say they are checking it. But many children struggle with the increased academic demands of elementary school, as they begin to be required to master more complex material, from geography to mathematics. At the same time, in many states, new Common Core standards are raising the bar for what elementary school students need to be responsible for.

Children with learning challenges—from dyslexia to ADHD—may have particular challenges as school work becomes more difficult. Children who have issues with emotional regulation that make it difficult for them to focus may also have troubles in school. And children from poor and/or stressed families may not have the resources at home—or at school—to succeed.

Some research indicates that third grade can be a turning point for children. As academic demands grow, children who have trouble with reading, with focusing, and with school in general may be at the edge of success or failure. Intervention in third grade can make a big difference in whether a child turns into a successful student—or drops out before finishing high school (Hernandez, 2012).

Look Inside

Nine-year-olds are more likely to keep thinking about puzzling events than are 5-year-olds. However, this metacognitive ability—thinking about experiences and thoughts—is far from perfect, as 9-year-olds are still easily distracted.

What is going on inside that growing little head? Review what we understand about brain development during middle childhood in this video.

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Nine-year-olds are more likely to keep thinking about puzzling events than are 5-year-olds. However, this metacognitive ability—thinking about experiences and thoughts—is far from perfect, as 9-year-olds are still easily distracted.

What is going on inside that growing little head? Review what we understand about brain development during middle childhood in this video.

It seems like just a few years ago you were pestering {model.babyName} to make sure that {model.baby_he_she} remembered your cell phone number in case of an emergency. Now {model.baby_he_she} remembers all sorts of things—from the number of biomes in Minecraft to (most) of {model.baby_his_her} times tables. Just a few years ago, {model.babyName} was struggling to remember {model.baby_his_her} ABCs and now {model.baby_he_she} can read on {model.baby_his_her} own.

It seems like just a few years ago you were pestering {model.babyName} to make sure that {model.baby_he_she} remembered your cell phone number in case of an emergency. Now {model.baby_he_she} remembers all sorts of things—from the number of biomes in Minecraft to (most) of {model.baby_his_her} times tables. Just a few years ago, {model.babyName} was struggling to count to 100 and now {model.baby_he_she} can do basic division and understands simple fractions.

Explain

As children’s brains develop, they have increased processing speed due to myelination. But no matter how fast their processing speed, their sensory and working memory stores are still limited. However, children can work more efficiently by automatizing basic tasks, like remembering word sounds, basic spelling and math facts.

Remember that in the information processing theory’s understanding of memory, we recognize that incoming stimuli are received in an instant (sensory memory), and the select sensory memories transfer to the next step in remembering (working memory). Working memory capacity increases throughout middle childhood. One reason is that children begin to learn and acquire strategies for memorizing. For example, they learn that rehearsing will help them retain information. They also learn to group similar items together, making the items easier to remember and store in long-term memory.

Recall that we can only hold limited information in sensory and working memory. Sensory memory is usually limited to just 3-5 items for under 3 seconds and working memory is typically just 7-9 items for under 15 seconds. However, remember that rehearsal—or practice—like repeating a phone number, can expand the length of time you can hold information in your working memory. Your long-term memory is infinite, however—which is why it is important to work hard to encode information.

Look Inside

Ten-year-olds in school know many strategies for memorizing facts or solving mathematical problems. Some of these strategies are taught by teachers, and others are learned by imitating peers. But research has shown that most of these strategies are spontaneously invented by children themselves, even when their old ways of memorizing and problem solving are working perfectly well.

A 10-year-old knows approximately 40,000 words. That’s an average of 12 words a day, every day, between the ages of 1 and 10. For children in language-enriched environments and who read a lot, vocabulary at this age can be much higher.

What is going on inside that growing little head? Review what we understand about brain development during middle childhood in this video.

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Review what we understand about the impact of media on childhood development in this video.

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You’ve tried to limit {model.baby_his_her} media use, but it seems like {model.babyName} feels more pressure than ever to keep up with the other kids at school.

You’ve always been pretty open to allowing {model.babyName} to watch television and use video games, but {model.baby_he_she} seems more interested than ever.

Does {model.babyName} have a television in {model.baby_his_her} room? No.

Does {model.babyName} have a television in {model.baby_his_her} room? Yes.

How much TV does {model.babyName} watch? Less than 1 hour per day.

How much TV does {model.babyName} watch? Between 1 to 4 hours per day.

How much TV does {model.babyName} watch? More than 4 hours per day.

How much time does {model.babyName} spend playing video games? {model.babyName} spends less than 1 hour per day.

How much time does {model.babyName} spend playing video games? {model.babyName} spends about 1 hour per day.

How much time does {model.babyName} spend playing video games? {model.babyName} spends 2 hours or more per day.

Explain

Elementary school children and adolescents spend more time on media than they do in school. As they grow older, some may spend more time on media than they do sleeping. Experts recommend limiting children’s media exposure to less than two hours a day, because of worries that higher levels of media may encourage children to be sedentary, take too much time away from school work and may expose children to violent, sexually mature material and substance and alcohol use. But parents seem to have difficulty adhering to the recommended limits on the time children spend on media.

Surveys of children seem to indicate that many parents don’t have many rules about media use and those who do have rules seldom enforce them (Ridgeout et al, 2010).

Children who spend a lot of time online tend to be more overweight and be less successful in school (Pediatrics, 2013). Some studies even indicate that children who spend the most time online and watching television tend to be less content than other children—but it isn’t clear whether the time online causes the unhappiness or whether kids who are already unhappy end up spending more time watching television (Ridgeout et al, 2010). There are some social, ethnic and cultural differences in what types of media and how much media kids are exposed to. The more education a child’s parents have, the less media they tend to watch. Children whose parents went to college end up watching about two hours less of television every day (Ridgeout et al, 2010). And some studies report significant ethnic differences in media use. In one study, even when researchers controlled for the influence of family income and educational background, children from African-American or Latino backgrounds reported watching up to 2 hours more television every day than children who were European-American. Latino and African-American children reported about 13 hours a day of total media use while European-American children reported less than 9 hours. Some of this exposure was passive, however. Children reported that the television was on (even if no one was actively watching it) more of the time, particularly during meals, in African-American households (Ridgeout, 2010). But more research needs to be done to investigate these differences.

Data compiled from: National Survey of Children's Health. NSCH 2011/12. Data query from the Child and Adolescent Health Measurement Initiative, Data Resource Center for Child and Adolescent Health website. Retrieved 06/11/2015 from www.childhealthdata.org. and from Ridgeout, V. J., Foehr, U. G., & Roberts, D. F. (2010). Generation M2: Media in the Lives of 8-to 18-Year-Olds. Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation.

Source: Children, Adolescents, and the Media, Pediatrics 2013; 132; 958; originally published online October 28, 2013 DOI: 10.1542/peds.2013-2656

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Review what we understand about the development of interests and abilities during middle childhood in this video.

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{model.babyName} has decided that {model.baby_he_she} loves {model.MC10_child_interest} and even wants {model.MC10_future_career} when {model.baby_he_she} grows up.

While {model.babyName}’s friends all seem to know what they want to be when they grow up, all {model.babyName} will tell you is that {model.baby_he_she} really likes to play video games. You suggested that maybe {model.baby_he_she} become a game designer or a professional gamer, but {model.baby_he_she} says that doesn’t sound good either.

Explain

During middle childhood, children are beginning to develop skills and knowledge in the world outside of the home. They are learning to read and write, to dance or to kick a ball. Some children can develop amazing skills at this age—turning into pop stars before they hit puberty or selling paintings for millions of dollars. But most other children will just dabble in a variety of interests, perhaps moving from a love of reading to a love of science. However, if you follow the theories of Erik Erikson, each interest and the child’s success or failure in it, will contribute to the child’s overall sense of being successful, or competent, as a person.

Erik Erikson called the crisis of this stage, from about age 5 to about age 12, the struggle between industry and inferiority. If a child is able to explore their interests, achieve some level of competence (even if they aren’t going to win gold), they will have a sense of self-esteem, self-efficacy and confidence in their own efforts that they will take with them throughout their lives. If a child isn’t able to pursue interests and is instead passive, they may not be able to take risks, learn new things, and be successful in the outside world.

More than the Erikson stages that preceded it, the successful resolution of this stage is based on a child’s relationship not just with their parents, but with the outside world—peers, teachers, and even those people in the audience or on the sidelines. But parents can still do a good deal to help encourage children to take risks, work hard, and develop a sense of competence as they move from middle childhood into adolescence.

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{model.babyName} didn’t tell you about the terrible things that were happening to {model.baby_him_her} at school {model.baby_him_her}self. You found out from one of {model.baby_his_her} friend’s parents.

Apparently other kids have been {model.MC11_random_bullying}.

It is never a good feeling to get a call from school during the day, but this was maybe one of the worst calls you’d received. {model.babyName} was in the principal’s office. This time for {model.MC11_random_bullying_act}.

They are saying that {model.babyName} is a bully.

This time you had{model.MC11_work}to go to school to pick up {model.babyName}. The school has asked [him/her] to stay home for a few days before returning. You have a long and quiet ride home to figure out what to do next.

Explain

Bullying can be made up of physical, verbal or relational aggression. It can happen in person, or online, as in cyberbullying. But most frequently bullying happens in school. Many children have been either the victim or the perpetrator of bullying.

The children most likely to become involved in bullying (as either bullies or victims) are those who lack social skills and are less popular. However, bullies may not always be un-popular. They can also be children who are extremely popular, even social leaders, who use bullying tactics to maintain their social popularity. (Think about the movie Mean Girls.) However, regardless of whether a bully is popular or unpopular, the long-term outcome for them is not good. Bullies end up having challenges in their personal relationships later in life, end up with more frequent problems with substance use and have higher rates of criminal behavior. Being willing to hurt other children for your own gain is not a good recipe for success (Copeland et al, 2013).

In general, bullies report having harsher parenting than other children and tend to have been the victims of abuse more frequently. Individual programs to prevent bullying tend to focus on helping individual children and their parents develop stronger relationships. Researcher Alan Kazdin has been extremely successful coaching parents of children with conduct disorders to focus on shaping their child’s behavior using positive reinforcement, practice and consistent reinforcement (Kazdin, 2008).

Being bullied is, not surprisingly, not good for children. Victims of bullying tend to have long-term problems with depression, anxiety and even suicide (Copeland et al, 2013). And many victims of bullying end up being bullies themselves.

Frequently, both bullies and victims are socially rejected either because they are aggressive-rejected (children who are too angry and confrontational in social situations) or withdrawn-rejected (children who are extremely anxious and shy).

However, children can be bullied for any number of reasons that don’t have to do with their personality—including their ethnicity, their weight, their sexual orientation or their disability. Children who have disabilities, or are perceived as LBTQ, have rates of bullying that range as high as 80% in some studies.

Over the past decades, substantial efforts have been made to target bullying in schools. Some of the results have been encouraging. Others have been harmful. Norwegian researcher Dan Olweus created the most famous and well-respected bullying prevention program—one that has become a model and is used in hundreds of schools around the world. The goal of the Olweus program, or other successful programs, is to change the entire school climate—not just target the victims or the bullies. Successful programs create a school climate where every student understands that respect and compassion are expected from everyone—and every student and teacher feels empowered to intervene. Programs that are high-stakes or “zero tolerance,” where bullies are punished extremely harshly, tend to be less effective, because these programs do not address the overall school climate.

Sources: W Copeland, et al, “Adult Psychiatric Outcomes of Bullying and Being Bullied by Peers in Childhood and Adolescence,” JAMA Psychiatry, 70(4): 419-426, Feb 2013.

Kazdin, Alan E., The Kazdin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child, Mariner Books, 2008.

Look Inside

Bullying tends to increase between the 5th and 7th grade, which corresponds to the time when children transition to middle school. This increase in many cases is tied to the transition to middle school, where social groups are reforming and children are struggling to find a place in the peer social hierarchy.

Prosocial moral reasoning—deciding whether to share or help others—moves through a stage-like progression between the preschool and middle childhood years. Whereas a preschool child will decide to share or help others if there is little or no inconvenience to the self, the typical 11-year-old is much more empathic and attuned to social norms for helping others.

This video reviews what we understand about friendship and peers in middle childhood.

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{model.babyName} is about to go into fifth grade with lots of testing on the horizon. Now it is time to turn the tables and see how you are doing as a parent. Let’s see whether you’re making the grade.

{model.babyName} is about to go into fifth grade and is learning a lot. Now it is time to turn the tables and see how you are doing as a parent. Let’s see whether you’re making the grade.

Explain

Being a parent is hard work. And complicated. And this is only a simulation! Imagine how hard it is in real life. Researchers measure parents on a number of scales. In the early childhood module, you learned about the classic Diana Baumrind parenting styles—authoritative, authoritarian, permissive and neglectful. And in the infants and toddlers module, you learned about proximal and distal parenting. In this module, we’ve focused on 3 other aspects of parenting that are particularly important as your child matures into an adolescent: parental monitoring, parental expectations and parental stress. All of these can have a crucial impact on children’s happiness and success.

In small children, parental monitoring takes the form of actively keeping an eye your little one: making sure a toddler doesn’t end up in the medicine cabinet or a kindergartener doesn’t wander into traffic. As children grow older, monitoring takes a different form and sometimes doesn’t even need to involve eye contact. In the elementary school years, parents who score high in parental monitoring have an idea of what their children do every day, who their friends are, and what they do in school (and after school) every day. When kids come home after school, children may tell them they did “nothing” in school all day, but parents who are effective at monitoring their children know how to get beyond “nothing” to find out what happened at recess, whether there was bullying, a substitute teacher, or pizza for lunch. This ability to communicate will become particularly important as children enter adolescence. Teens whose parents effectively monitor their behavior do better in school, and also have lower rates of “problem” behaviors from substance abuse to teen pregnancy (Dishion et al 1998).

Parental expectations are an important variable in student success. Parents with high expectations end up providing more support for their children’s learning by providing more enrichment and communication about school—things like tutoring, after-school lessons, and conversations about homework. Their children spend more time in school—and stay in school longer with better grades. However, no matter how high the expectation of parents, if the relationship between parent and child isn’t close (remember the importance of parental monitoring), no amount of enrichment or hopes for a doctoral degree are going to make up for it.

Unsurprisingly, children whose parents are in happy relationships—whether those relationships are traditional married couples or unmarried cohabiting partners—tend to be happier themselves than children whose parents are stressed. Also unsurprisingly, parental stress generally leads to problematic parenting, which can lead to higher risks of everything from aggression in preschoolers to dropping out of school in adolescents (Barry, Dunlap, Cotton, Lochman, & Wells, 2005; McLoyd, 1998). But remember, happy relationships include some conflict: the ideal is not that weeks pass without an argument or a disagreement—but that most of the time together is supportive.

Look Inside

As the child moves through middle childhood, friends become increasingly important as a source of influence on peer relationships. But this doesn't mean that parents are no longer important. When parents use coercive control at home, their children tend to be more aggressive with peers, have poorer social skills, and are at higher risk for peer rejection.

Review what we understand about parenting during middle childhood in this video.

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Review what we understand about parenting during middle childhood in this video.

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At the end of fifth grade, you took {model.babyName} to the local school system to receive a full evaluation and testing to see how {model.baby_he_she} is doing compared to {model.baby_his_her} traditionally schooled peers. Here’s how {model.baby_he_she} fared.

Explain

In real life, a child’s report card won’t give this kind of comprehensive portrait of how they are doing. By the time a child has reached fifth grade, most schools and teachers are focusing on testing and assessments. Sometimes parents—or teachers or other caregivers—have to create a more balanced view of a child’s challenges and successes by bringing together information from medical providers, parents, mental health providers, or other professionals. We’ve tried to collect some major milestones in this report card so you have a sense of how your child is doing. But remember that there are many other important milestones in your Memory Book.

As children move into middle school, it is important to get intervention for kids who may be having some difficulties. Some challenges can improve in adolescence—but for some kids the consequences can be more severe. Children can get into trouble with bad grades, relationships or even the law as teenagers. But they can also have the opportunity to shine—do to well in school, make friends and be happy and successful. Sometimes small changes at home or in school have big positive effects.

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Review what we understand about parenting and brain development during middle childhood in this video.

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Video: Two Faces of Autism

This module focuses on two eleven-year-old boys who have autism. Their behavioral differences and similarities illustrate that autism is characterized by a spectrum of dysfunctioning. Three common features of the disorder are focused on: decreased capacity for social engagements, communication deficits, and lack of imagination.

Video: Nutrition in Childhood: Children in China with Iodine Deficiency

Currently, 60% of China's population is at risk for Iodine Deficiency Disorder (IDD). This can cause not only goiters, which are enlarged thyroid glands, but also severe mental and physical retardation. Because of IDD there has been a general downward shift of intelligence in the area. Presently, China is using salt to provide the needed iodine and there is great improvement in the rates of IDD.

Video: Physical Activity in Middle Childhood

Video: Physical Development in Middle Childhood

Video: Brain Development in Middle Childhood

Video: Cognitive Development in Childhood: Magical Thinking

In this video, you will witness a typical response from a 4-year-old and from a 7-year-old who have been asked about wishes. As you will see in this clip from the laboratory of Jacqui Woolley, the causal power of wishing affects different age groups differently.

Video: Cognitive Development in Childhood: Piaget's Conservation-of-Liquid Task: 5 1/2-Year-Old Fails

According to Piaget, children at about age 7 enter the concrete operational stage of thought: they are able to reason logically about the things and events they perceive. Piaget believed that children’s initial ability to reason logically is reflected in their understanding of conservation, that is the idea that changes in the appearance of an object or substance do not change its key properties, such as quantity. One of his classic tests is the conservation-of-liquid test. In this test, the experimenter shows a child two containers of the same size filled with the same amount of liquid. The child then watches as the contents of one container are poured into a container of a different size. Finally, the experimenter asks the child whether one container contains more liquid than the other, or whether the amount of liquid in both containers is the same. The 5-year-old in this clip doesn’t yet understand that the quantity of a liquid stays the same when you transfer the liquid to a different-sized vessel.

Video: Cognitive Development in Childhood: Piaget's Conservation-of-Liquid Task: 7 1/2-Year-Old Passes

The 7-year-old in this clip has entered the concrete operational stage of thought. He is now able to reason that the quantity of a liquid stays the same when you transfer it to a different sized vessel.

Video: Cognitive Development in Childhood: Piaget's Conservation-of-Number Task: 4 1/2-Year-Old Fails

Conservation is the understanding that the quantity remains the same even when the shape of the object changes. In this video, a 4 ½-year-old boy completes the number task with animal crackers. The animal crackers are placed in two rows of six each. When the rows are the same length the boy counts the crackers to determine who has more. When the rows are at different lengths the boy uses his visual understanding of distance to determine which row has more. The boy also attempts to count the number of crackers when the rows are different lengths to determine which row has more but does not apply the concept of numbers correctly.

Video: Cognitive Development in Childhood: Piaget's Conservation-of-Number Task: 5 1/2-Year-Old Passes

Conservation is the understanding that the quantity remains the same even when the shape of the object changes. In this video, a 5 ½-year-old boy completes the number task with animal crackers. The animal crackers are placed in two rows of seven each. Regardless of how the rows are adjusted, this boy understands that both rows contain the same number of animal crackers even though the distance of the row has changed.

Video: Cognitive Development in Early Childhood: Concrete Operational Thought

Video: Intelligence and Testing in Middle Childhood

Video: Understanding Autism Spectrum Disorder

Autism is an increasingly common disorder among children affecting about 1 out of 700-800 children. Autism is not just one disorder but lies on a spectrum of disorders that have one feature in common, difficulties with social relationships. This video discusses several research studies that focus on autism spectrum disorder. One research study is monitoring the electrical activity in the brains of children who have autism while they look at pictures of faces, including the face of their mother and strangers. Children with autism show the same brain response to both faces. One early indicator that autism may be present in children is the lack of a special type of eye contact known as joint attention. With the idea that early intervention is the key, therapy encourages autistic children to look at the therapist and respond as well as imitate behaviors.

Video: The Impact of the Media on Adolescent Development

Video: Dyslexia: Adolescent Discusses Impact

Video is an interview with an adolescent boy who describes his experience with dyslexia (e.g., troubles with note-taking, test-taking, taking the SATs etc.).

Video: Autism Spectrum Disorder

This video includes footage of a preschool teacher and family discussing a young boy “Gowan” who has an undiagnosed developmental disorder, though the parents think it may be Autism. The video includes footage of Gowan at school, playing with siblings outside and throwing a fit while bouncing on the couch.

Video: Current Research into Autism Spectrum Disorder

Video is a CBS News story on Autism Spectrum Disorder. There is an interview with Dr. Geraldine Dawson, Chief Science Officer for Autism Speaks. Video discusses increasing numbers of children diagnosed with ASD and the fact that no one knows exactly why the rates are increasingly so drastically. Researchers think it is largely genetic with possible environmental triggers (e.g., pesticides). The video includes an interview with a mother of a boy with ASD who discusses the fact that there is no standard method of treatment. There is an interview with Dr. Hakon Hakonarson, a geneticist studying ASD and Dr. Robert Schultz from Children’s Hospital Philadelphia, who shows brain scans of typical vs. kids with ASD responding to social stimuli. Research is presented by Dr. Joe Piven, U of North Carolina, on younger siblings of kids with ASD. These children are 20% more likely to be diagnosed with ASD than average children.

Video: Dyslexia: Expert and Children

A young girl describes her struggle with reading and how an expert helped her accomplish her goal. The young girl has dyslexia and had problems hearing the sounds in words while reading. The expert describes techniques that are used to help children with dyslexia learn to read.

Video: Education in Middle Childhood

Video: Reading and Reading Disorders: Specific Learning Disorders

This clip showcases research into the process of learning to read and insight into why some have trouble. The clip shows a child who has previously been unable to read learning to read with the aid of a computer program. Since the child has trouble associating letters with sounds, a critical part of learning to read, repetition is used to get the child to associate sounds with letters. The clip shows how brain scans of readers suggest that a particular area of the brain is responsible for associating letters with sound. Through brain scans of a single subject before and after he learns to read, this theory is reinforced. The clip includes the work of Bruce McCandliss.

Video: ADHD and the Family

Video: Interview with Lawrence Walker

Lawrence Walker discusses the history of the study of moral development and the important role of parents. The study of moral development began with a Freudian perspective then moved to the cognitive developmental perspective with a focus on peer interactions. Now research examines the role of the parent. Parents can promote the moral development of their child by demonstrating a willingness to listen to their children and valuing what their children have to say. Parents should also promote the decision making process of their children.

Video: Moral Development in Middle Childhood

Video: Moral Development: Kolberg's Heinz Moral Dilemma

This video shows how children aged 6 years, 9 years, and 16 years respond to the Heinz dilemma. The Heinz dilemma is a measure of moral development developed by Kohlberg. The 6- year-old boy believes that Heinz should not steal the drug because it is illegal and Heinz would be arrested. The 9-year-old boy believes that Heinz should steal the drug in order to save the life of his wife. The 16-year-old boy also believes that Heinz should steal the drug but the reason deals with the immoral actions of the druggist.

Video: Theories of Middle Childhood Development

Video: Moral Thinking and Emotion: A Challenging Dilemma

Researcher Joshua Green from Princeton University studies how people make tough decisions that combine emotion with reasoning. He is particularly interested in how the anterior cingulate cortex is involved. His research demonstrates that when people are trying to make a decision on an issue that mixes emotion with reasoning, the anterior cingulate cortex is hard at work. Examples of such a dilemma are given.

Video: The Importance of Peers in Middle Childhood

Video: Developmental Trends in Children's Conception of Friendship

Video: Middle Childhood: Biosocial Development: A Brief Overview

Video: Excerpts from "Up" Documentary: Meet the Children

This video segment is an excerpt from the documentary “Up” and shows footage of the documentary children meeting each other in what appears to be adolescence (ages not specified) and discussing how they have and have not changed from their earlier years. Also included in this video segment are the participants’ opinions on the messages from the “Up” documentary.

Video: Excerpts from "Up" Documentary: Introduction

This video segment describes the “Up” documentary series, following 7-year-olds from starkly different backgrounds (primarily socio-economic differences). Video footage is of all the kids together at the London Zoo and includes the quote “give me the child until he is seven and I will give you the man.”

Video: Excerpts from "Up" Documentary: John Rebuts the Filmmaker

This video segment is an excerpt from the documentary “Up” and shows an interview with John at adolescence (age not specified). In it John discusses how the documentary doesn’t show all the hard work the upper-class kids still had to put in to achieve their successes later in life, but rather presented it as if their successes were handed to them.

Video: Research of Geoffrey Saxe

Video is an interview with Geoffrey Saxe, PhD, UC Berkeley, about cross-cultural differences in counting procedures. It includes footage of children in Papa New Guinea counting, using many other body parts beyond fingers, as in the U.S. The video clip also discusses the development of arithmetic strategies and a discussion of how humans construct knowledge.

Video: Middle Childhood: Cognitive Development: A Brief Overview

Video: Arithmetic Strategies: The Research of Robert Siegler

This video demonstrates how children solve simple math problems. Strategies include counting ahead silently, using fingers to count, and the automatic addition of common addends.

Video: The Impact of the Media on Adolescent Development

Video: Parenting in Adolescence

Video: Parenting in Middle Childhood

Video: Family Structure and Function in Middle Childhood

Video: Excerpts from "Up" Documentary: Nicholas as a Young Man

This video footage, an excerpt from the documentary “Up”, focuses on one of the rural children, Nicholas, who went to a one-room school in the Yorkshire Dales. The segment includes footage of him discussing (or refusing to discuss) girls and his romantic life. Nicholas, who is working on being a physicist at Oxford, also discusses his attempts at being less shy and more outgoing in general.

Video: Excerpts from "Up" Documentary: Tony, the Boy Who Wanted to Be a Jockey

Tony wanted to be a jockey when he grew up. He left his school at the age of 15 in order to pursue his dream. Tony was a successful jockey and realized the fulfillment of his dream.

Video: Excerpts from "Up" Documentary: Three Girls from Working-Class Backgrounds

This video discusses the life expectations and trajectories of three different women from working-class backgrounds. Employment, career, marriage and family are discussed. The time of marriage is also discussed from the perspective of each woman.

Video: Excerpts from "Up" Documentary: Neil, a Boy Who Develops Emotional Problems

This video footage is an excerpt from the documentary “Up” and focuses on one of the middle-class boys, Neil. The video segment shows clips of Neil at various ages, including an interview with him in early adulthood when he is working as a laborer and “squatting” in an apartment in London. Later footage shows Neil hitchhiking as an adult. He is still unsettled, unemployed and living off of social security.

Video: Excerpts from "Up" Documentary: Paul and Simon, Two Children Who Lived in a Group Home

This video discusses the life trajectories of two boys from a group home, Paul and Simon. Paul left the group home when he was 8 years old and moved back in with his father, who remarried. They then moved to Australia. As an adult, Paul married and then later divorced. Simon left the group home when he was 13 years old and moved back in with his mom, whom he still lives with. Simon says that he has more of a friendship relationship with his mother, rather than a mother-son relationship, and that he feels like he has to take care of her.

Video: Excerpts from "Up" Documentary: Three Boys from Upper Class Backgrounds

This excerpt from the documentary “Up” focuses on three upper-class boys. The video footage includes interviews of the boys at different ages. For example: at age 7 the boys discuss the newspapers they read, at early and late adolescence they discuss how the program typecasts them. They discuss “public” schools (which are private in England) and the importance of good education.

Video: Bullying

Video: Bullying: Interview with Nicki Crick

Nicki Crick discusses characteristics of children who are victims of relational aggression. They tend to be rejected by their peers; to feel lonely, depressed, and anxious. They also are impulsive in acting out their emotions and have troubled friendships.

Video: Girls Bullying Girls

Video includes an interview with a young adolescent girl regarding being bullied by other girls in 6th grade and an interview with her parents about the experience including their child’s resulting depression. There is a discussion with a 6th grade teacher who is incorporating anti-bullying messages into her curriculum. The video also includes an interview with the author of the book, “Odd Girl Out” regarding adults remembering bullying in childhood and interviews with 7th-graders about girls spreading rumors, getting beat up, etc.

Video: Understanding Bullying: Interview with Robert Sellman

Psychologist Robert Selman has designed programs to combat bullying. In this video, he discusses that work and points out the importance of understanding what bullying means to the children who engage in this behavior.

Video: Family Structure and Function in Middle Childhood

Video: John and Julie Gottman Examine Marital and Family Stress

Scientific American Article: The Secret to Raising Smart Kids

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Scientific American Article: The Secret to Raising Smart Kids

HINT: Don't tell your kids that they are. More than three decades of research shows that a focus on “process”—not on intelligence or ability—is key to success in school and in life

January 1, 2015

By Carol S. Dweck

IN BRIEF

Growing Pains

Many people assume that superior intelligence or ability is a key to success. But more than three decades of research shows that an overemphasis on intellect or talent—and the implication that such traits are innate and fixed—leaves people vulnerable to failure, fearful of challenges and unmotivated to learn.

Teaching people to have a “growth mind-set,” which encourages a focus on “process” rather than on intelligence or talent, produces high achievers in school and in life.

Parents and teachers can engender a growth mind-set in children by praising them for their persistence or strategies (rather than for their intelligence), by telling success stories that emphasize hard work and love of learning, and by teaching them about the brain as a learning machine.

A brilliant student, Jonathan sailed through grade school. He completed his assignments easily and routinely earned As. Jonathan puzzled over why some of his classmates struggled, and his parents told him he had a special gift. In the seventh grade, however, Jonathan suddenly lost interest in school, refusing to do homework or study for tests. As a consequence, his grades plummeted. His parents tried to boost their son's confidence by assuring him that he was very smart. But their attempts failed to motivate Jonathan (who is a composite drawn from several children). Schoolwork, their son maintained, was boring and pointless.

Our society worships talent, and many people assume that possessing superior intelligence or ability— along with confidence in that ability—is a recipe for success. In fact, however, more than 35 years of scientific investigation suggests that an overemphasis on intellect or talent leaves people vulnerable to failure, fearful of challenges and unwilling to remedy their shortcomings.

The result plays out in children like Jonathan, who coast through the early grades under the dangerous notion that no-effort academic achievement defines them as smart or gifted. Such children hold an implicit belief that intelligence is innate and fixed, making striving to learn seem far less important than being (or looking) smart. This belief also makes them see challenges, mistakes and even the need to exert effort as threats to their ego rather than as opportunities to improve. And it causes them to lose confidence and motivation when the work is no longer easy for them.

Praising children's innate abilities, as Jonathan's parents did, reinforces this mind-set, which can also prevent young athletes or people in the workforce and even marriages from living up to their potential. On the other hand, our studies show that teaching people to have a “growth mind-set,” which encourages a focus on “process” (consisting of personal effort and effective strategies) rather than on intelligence or talent, helps make them into high achievers in school and in life.

The Opportunity of Defeat

I first began to investigate the underpinnings of human motivation—and how people persevere after setbacks—as a psychology graduate student at Yale University in the 1960s. Animal experiments by psychologists Martin Seligman, Steven Maier and Richard Solomon, all then at the University of Pennsylvania, had shown that after repeated failures, most animals conclude that a situation is hopeless and beyond their control. After such an experience, the researchers found, an animal often remains passive even when it can effect change—a state they called learned helplessness.

People can learn to be helpless, too, but not everyone reacts to setbacks this way. I wondered: Why do some students give up when they encounter difficulty, whereas others who are no more skilled continue to strive and learn? One answer, I soon discovered, lay in people's beliefs about why they had failed.

In particular, attributing poor performance to a lack of ability depresses motivation more than does the belief that lack of effort is to blame. In 1972, when I taught a group of elementary and middle school children who displayed helpless behavior in school that a lack of effort (rather than lack of ability) led to their mistakes on math problems, the kids learned to keep trying when the problems got tough. They also solved many more problems even in the face of difficulty. Another group of helpless children who were simply rewarded for their success on easier problems did not improve their ability to solve hard math problems. These experiments were an early indication that a focus on effort can help resolve helplessness and engender success.

Subsequent studies revealed that the most persistent students do not ruminate about their own failure much at all but instead think of mistakes as problems to be solved. At the University of Illinois in the 1970s I, along with my then graduate student Carol Diener, asked 60 fifth graders to think out loud while they solved very difficult pattern-recognition problems. Some students reacted defensively to mistakes, denigrating their skills with comments such as “I never did have a good rememory,” and their problem-solving strategies deteriorated.

Others, meanwhile, focused on fixing errors and honing their skills. One advised himself: “I should slow down and try to figure this out.” Two schoolchildren were particularly inspiring. One, in the wake of difficulty, pulled up his chair, rubbed his hands together, smacked his lips and said, “I love a challenge!” The other, also confronting the hard problems, looked up at the experimenter and approvingly declared, “I was hoping this would be informative!” Predictably, the students with this attitude outperformed their cohorts in these studies.

Two Views of Intelligence

Several years later I developed a broader theory of what separates the two general classes of learners— helpless versus mastery-oriented. I realized that these different types of students not only explain their failures differently, but they also hold different “theories” of intelligence. The helpless ones believe that intelligence is a fixed trait: you have only a certain amount, and that's that. I call this a “fixed mind-set.” Mistakes crack their self-confidence because they attribute errors to a lack of ability, which they feel powerless to change. They avoid challenges because challenges make mistakes more likely and looking smart less so. Like Jonathan, such children shun effort in the belief that having to work hard means they are dumb.

The mastery-oriented children, on the other hand, think intelligence is malleable and can be developed through education and hard work. They want to learn above all else. After all, if you believe that you can expand your intellectual skills, you want to do just that. Because slipups stem from a lack of effort or acquirable skills, not fixed ability, they can be remedied by perseverance. Challenges are energizing rather than intimidating; they offer opportunities to learn. Students with such a growth mind-set, we predicted, were destined for greater academic success and were quite likely to outperform their counterparts.

We validated these expectations in a study published in early 2007. Psychologists Lisa Blackwell, then at Columbia University, and Kali H. Trzesniewski, then at Stanford University, and I monitored 373 students for two years during the transition to junior high school, when the work gets more difficult and the grading more stringent, to determine how their mind-sets might affect their math grades. At the beginning of seventh grade, we assessed the students' mind-sets by asking them to agree or disagree with statements such as “Your intelligence is something very basic about you that you can't really change.” We then assessed their beliefs about other aspects of learning and looked to see what happened to their grades.

As we had predicted, the students with a growth mind-set felt that learning was a more important goal in school than getting good grades. In addition, they held hard work in high regard, believing that the more you labored at something, the better you would become at it. They understood that even geniuses have to work hard for their great accomplishments. Confronted by a setback such as a disappointing test grade, students with a growth mind-set said they would study harder or try a different strategy for mastering the material.

The students who held a fixed mind-set, however, were concerned about looking smart with less regard for learning. They had negative views of effort, believing that having to work hard at something was a sign of low ability. They thought that a person with talent or intelligence did not need to work hard to do well. Attributing a bad grade to their own lack of ability, those with a fixed mind-set said that they would study less in the future, try never to take that subject again and consider cheating on future tests.

Such divergent outlooks had a dramatic impact on performance. At the start of junior high, the math achievement test scores of the students with a growth mind-set were comparable to those of students who displayed a fixed mind-set. But as the work became more difficult, the students with a growth mind-set showed greater persistence. As a result, their math grades overtook those of the other students by the end of the first semester—and the gap between the two groups continued to widen during the two years we followed them.

Along with psychologist Heidi Grant Halvorson, now at Columbia, I found a similar relation between mind-set and achievement in a 2003 study of 128 Columbia freshman premed students who were enrolled in a challenging general chemistry course. Although all the students cared about grades, the ones who earned the best grades were those who placed a high premium on learning rather than on showing that they were smart in chemistry. The focus on learning strategies, effort and persistence paid off for these students.

Confronting Deficiencies

A belief in fixed intelligence also makes people less willing to admit to errors or to confront and remedy their deficiencies in school, at work and in their social relationships. In a study published in 1999 of 168 freshmen entering the University of Hong Kong, where all instruction and coursework are in English, three Hong Kong colleagues and I found that students with a growth mind-set who scored poorly on their English proficiency exam were far more inclined to take a remedial English course than were low-scoring students with a fixed mind-set. The students with a stagnant view of intelligence were presumably unwilling to admit to their deficit and thus passed up the opportunity to correct it.

A fixed mind-set can similarly hamper communication and progress in the workplace by leading managers and employees to discourage or ignore constructive criticism and advice. Research by psychologists Peter Heslin, now at the University of New South Wales in Australia, Don VandeWalle of Southern Methodist University and Gary Latham of the University of Toronto shows that managers who have a fixed mind-set are less likely to seek or welcome feedback from their employees than are managers with a growth mind-set. Presumably, managers with a growth mind-set see themselves as works-in-progress and understand that they need feedback to improve, whereas bosses with a fixed mind-set are more likely to see criticism as reflecting their underlying level of competence. Assuming that other people are not capable of changing either, executives with a fixed mind-set are also less likely to mentor their underlings. But after Heslin, VandeWalle and Latham gave managers a tutorial on the value and principles of the growth mind-set, supervisors became more willing to coach their employees and gave more useful advice.

Mind-set can affect the quality and longevity of personal relationships as well, through people's willingness—or unwillingness—to deal with difficulties. Those with a fixed mind-set are less likely than those with a growth mind-set to broach problems in their relationships and to try to solve them, according to a 2006 study I conducted with psychologist Lara Kammrath, now at Wake Forest University. After all, if you think that human personality traits are more or less fixed, relationship repair seems largely futile. Individuals who believe people can change and grow, however, are more confident that confronting concerns in their relationships will lead to resolutions.

Proper Praise

How do we transmit a growth mind-set to our children? One way is by telling stories about achievements that result from hard work. For instance, talking about mathematical geniuses who were more or less born that way puts students in a fixed mind-set, but descriptions of great mathematicians who fell in love with math and developed amazing skills engenders a growth mind-set, our studies have shown. People also communicate mind-sets through praise. Although many, if not most, parents believe that they should build up children by telling them how brilliant and talented they are, our research suggests that this is misguided.

In studies involving several hundred fifth graders published in 1998, for example, psychologist Claudia M. Mueller, now at Stanford, and I gave children questions from a nonverbal IQ test. After the first 10 problems, on which most children did fairly well, we praised them. We praised some of them for their intelligence: “Wow … that's a really good score. You must be smart at this.” We commended others for their process: “Wow … that's a really good score. You must have worked really hard.”

We found that intelligence praise encouraged a fixed mind-set more often than did pats on the back for effort. Those congratulated for their intelligence, for example, shied away from a challenging assignment—they wanted an easy one instead—far more often than the kids applauded for their process. (Most of those lauded for their hard work wanted the difficult problem set from which they would learn.) When we gave everyone hard problems anyway, those praised for being smart became discouraged, doubting their ability. And their scores, even on an easier problem set we gave them afterward, declined as compared with their previous results on equivalent problems. In contrast, students praised for their hard work did not lose confidence when faced with the harder questions, and their performance improved markedly on the easier problems that followed.

Making Up Your Mind-set

In addition to encouraging a growth mind-set through praise for effort, parents and teachers can help children by providing explicit instruction regarding the mind as a learning machine. Blackwell, Trzesniewski and I designed an eight-session workshop for 91 students whose math grades were declining in their first year of junior high. Forty-eight of the students received instruction in study skills only, whereas the others attended a combination of study skills sessions and classes in which they learned about the growth mind-set and how to apply it to schoolwork.

In the growth mind-set classes, students read and discussed an article entitled “You Can Grow Your Brain.” They were taught that the brain is like a muscle that gets stronger with use and that learning prompts neurons in the brain to grow new connections. From such instruction, many students began to see themselves as agents of their own brain development. Students who had been disruptive or bored sat still and took note. One particularly unruly boy looked up during the discussion and said, “You mean I don't have to be dumb?”

As the semester progressed, the math grades of the kids who learned only study skills continued to decline, whereas those of the students given the growth-mind-set training stopped falling and began to bounce back to their former levels. Despite being unaware that there were two types of instruction, teachers reported noticing significant motivational changes in 27 percent of the children in the growth mind-set workshop as compared with only 9 percent of students in the control group. One teacher wrote: “Your workshop has already had an effect. L [our unruly male student], who never puts in any extra effort and often doesn't turn in homework on time, actually stayed up late to finish an assignment early so I could review it and give him a chance to revise it. He earned a B+. (He had been getting Cs and lower.)

Other researchers have replicated our results. Psychologists Catherine Good, now at Baruch College, Joshua Aronson of New York University and Michael Inzlicht, now at the University of Toronto, reported in 2003 that a growth mind-set workshop raised the math and English achievement test scores of seventh graders. In a 2002 study Aronson, Good (then a graduate student at the University of Texas at Austin) and their colleagues found that college students began to enjoy their schoolwork more, value it more highly and get better grades as a result of training that fostered a growth mind-set.

We have now encapsulated such instruction in an interactive computer program called Brainology. Its five modules teach students about the brain—what it does and how to make it work better. In a virtual brain lab, users can click on brain regions to determine their functions or on nerve endings to see how connections form or strengthen when people learn. Users can also advise virtual students with problems as a way of practicing how to handle schoolwork difficulties; additionally, users keep an online journal of their study practices.

New York City seventh graders who tested Brainology told us that the program had changed their view of learning and how to promote it. One wrote: “My favorite thing from Brainology is the neurons part where when u [sic] learn something there are connections and they keep growing. I always picture them when I'm in school.” A teacher said of the students who used the program: “They offer to practice, study, take notes, or pay attention to ensure that connections will be made.”

Teaching children such information is not just a ploy to get them to study. People may well differ in intelligence, talent and ability. And yet research is converging on the conclusion that great accomplishment, and even what we call genius, is typically the result of years of passion and dedication and not something that flows naturally from a gift. Mozart, Edison, Curie, Darwin and Cézanne were not simply born with talent; they cultivated it through tremendous and sustained effort. Similarly, hard work and discipline contribute more to school achievement than IQ does.

Such lessons apply to almost every human endeavor. For instance, many young athletes value talent more than hard work and have consequently become unteachable. Similarly, many people accomplish little in their jobs without constant praise and encouragement to maintain their motivation. If we foster a growth mind-set in our homes and schools, however, we will give our children the tools to succeed in their pursuits and to become productive workers and citizens. —Carol S. Dweck

A for Effort

According to a survey we conducted in the mid-1990s, 85 percent of parents believed that praising children's ability or intelligence when they perform well is important for making them feel smart. But our work shows that praising a child's intelligence makes a child fragile and defensive. So, too, does generic praise that suggests a stable trait, such as “You are a good artist.” Praise can be very valuable, however, if it is carefully worded. Praise for the specific process a child used to accomplish something fosters motivation and confidence by focusing children on the actions that lead to success. Such process praise may involve commending effort, strategies, focus, persistence in the face of difficulty, and willingness to take on challenges. The following are examples of such communications:

You did a good job drawing. I like the detail you added to the people's faces.

You really studied for your social studies test. You read the material over several times, outlined it and tested yourself on it. It really worked!

I like the way you tried a lot of different strategies on that math problem until you finally got it.

That was a hard English assignment, but you stuck with it until you got it done. You stayed at your desk and kept your concentration. That's great!

I like that you took on that challenging project for your science class. It will take a lot of work—doing the research, designing the apparatus, making the parts and building it. You are going to learn a lot of great things.

Parents and teachers can also teach children to enjoy the process of learning by expressing positive views of challenges, effort and mistakes. Here are some examples:

Boy, this is hard—this is fun

Oh, sorry, that was too easy—no fun. Let's do something more challenging that you can learn from.

Let's all talk about what we struggled with today and learned from. I'll go first.

Mistakes are so interesting. Here's a wonderful mistake.

Let's see what we can learn from it.

—C.S.D.

Reproduced with permission. Copyright © (2015) Scientific American, a division of Nature America, Inc. All rights reserved.

Scientific American Article: Is Divorce Bad for Children?

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Scientific American Article: Is Divorce Bad for Children?

The breakup may be painful, but most kids adjust well over time

March 1, 2013

By Hal Arkowitz, Scott O. Lilienfeld

Many of the 1.5 million children in the U.S. whose parents divorce every year feel as if their worlds are falling apart. Divorcing parents are usually very concerned about the welfare of their children during this troublesome process. Some parents are so worried that they remain in unhappy marriages, believing it will protect their offspring from the trauma of divorce.

Yet parents who split have reasons for hope. Researchers have found that only a relatively small percentage of children experience serious problems in the wake of divorce or, later, as adults. In this column, we discuss these findings as well as factors that may protect children from the potentially harmful effects of divorce.

Rapid Recovery

Divorce affects most children in the short run, but research suggests that kids recover rapidly after the initial blow. In a 2002 study psychologist E. Mavis Hetherington of the University of Virginia and her then graduate student Anne Mitchell Elmore found that many children experience short-term negative effects from divorce, especially anxiety, anger, shock and disbelief. These reactions typically diminish or disappear by the end of the second year. Only a minority of kids suffer longer.

Most children of divorce also do well in the longer term. In a quantitative review of the literature in 2001, sociologist Paul R. Amato, then at Pennsylvania State University, examined the possible effects on children several years after a divorce. The studies compared children of married parents with those who experienced divorce at different ages. The investigators followed these kids into later childhood, adolescence or the teenage years, assessing their academic achievement, emotional and behavior problems, delinquency, self-concept and social relationships. On average, the studies found only very small differences on all these measures between children of divorced parents and those from intact families, suggesting that the vast majority of children endure divorce well.

Researchers have consistently found that high levels of parental conflict during and after a divorce are associated with poorer adjustment in children. The effects of conflict before the separation, however, may be the reverse in some cases. In a 1985 study Hetherington and her associates reported that some children who are exposed to high levels of marital discord prior to divorce adjust better than children who experience low levels. Apparently when marital conflict is muted, children are often unprepared when told about the upcoming divorce. They are surprised, perhaps even terrified, by the news. In addition, children from high-discord families may experience the divorce as a welcome relief from their parents' fighting.

Taken together, the findings suggest that only a small percentage of young people experience divorce-related problems. Even here the causes of these lingering difficulties remain uncertain. Some troubles may arise from conflict between Mom and Dad associated with the divorce. The stress of the situation can also cause the quality of parenting to suffer. Divorce frequently contributes to depression, anxiety or substance abuse in one or both parents and may bring about difficulties in balancing work and child rearing. These problems can impair a parent's ability to offer children stability and love when they are most in need.

Grown-up Concerns

The experience of divorce can also create problems that do not appear until the late teenage years or adulthood. In 2000 in a book entitled The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: A 25 Year Landmark Study, Judith Wallerstein, then at the University of California, Berkeley, and her colleagues present detailed case studies suggesting that most adults who were children of divorce experience serious problems such as depression and relationship issues.

Yet scientific research does not support the view that problems in adulthood are prevalent; it instead demonstrates that most children of divorce become well-adjusted adults. For example, in a 2002 book, For Better or For Worse: Divorce Reconsidered, Hetherington and her co-author, journalist John Kelly, describe a 25-year study in which Hetherington followed children of divorce and children of parents who stayed together. She found that 25 percent of the adults whose parents had divorced experienced serious social, emotional or psychological troubles compared with 10 percent of those whose parents remained together. These findings suggest that only 15 percent of adult children of divorce experience problems over and above those from stable families. No one knows whether this difference is caused by the divorce itself or by variables, such as poorer parenting, that often accompany a marriage's dissolution.

In a review article in 2003, psychologists Joan B. Kelly of Corte Madera, Calif., and Robert E. Emery of the University of Virginia concluded that the relationships of adults whose parents' marriages failed do tend to be somewhat more problematic than those of children from stable homes. For instance, people whose parents split when they were young experience more difficulty forming and sustaining intimate relationships as young adults, greater dissatisfaction with their marriages, a higher divorce rate and poorer relationships with the noncustodial father compared with adults from sustained marriages. On all other measures, differences between the two groups were small.

Bouncing Back

Even though children of divorce generally do well, a number of factors can reduce the problems they might experience. Children fare better if parents can limit conflict associated with the divorce process or minimize the child's exposure to it. Further, children who live in the custody of at least one well-functioning parent do better than those whose primary parent is doing poorly. In the latter situation, the maladjusted parent should seek professional help or consider limiting his or her time with the child. Parents can also support their children during this difficult time by talking to them clearly about the divorce and its implications and answering their questions fully.

Other, more general facets of good parenting can also buffer against divorce-related difficulties in children. Parents should provide warmth and emotional support, and they should closely monitor their children's activities. They should also deliver discipline that is neither overly permissive nor overly strict. Other factors contributing to children's adjustment include postdivorce economic stability and social support from peers and other adults, such as teachers.

In addition, certain characteristics of the child can influence his or her resilience. Children with an easygoing temperament tend to fare better. Coping styles also make a difference. For example, children who are good problem solvers and who seek social support are more resilient than those who rely on distraction and avoidance.

The good news is that although divorce is hard and often extremely painful for children, long-term harm is not inevitable. Most children bounce back and get through this difficult situation with few if any battle scars.

Reproduced with permission. Copyright © (2013) Scientific American, a division of Nature America, Inc. All rights reserved.

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