Chapter 92. Attraction
Learning Objectives
Describe the factors that influence romantic attraction.
Contrast passionate love and companionate love as types of romantic love.
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1. Even though there are more than seven billion humans on this planet, most adults claim only a few dozen friends—and only a handful of romances. What determines our attraction to these special people? The most basic factor is proximity. We tend to become friends with, and perhaps fall in love with, the people we meet regularly at work, at school, or in our neighborhood.
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2. Physical attractiveness (as defined within a particular culture) is also a factor, especially in the early stages of romantic relationships. However, long-lasting bonds between friends and lovers seem to depend more on the factor of similarity in interests, values, and attitudes toward important issues.
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3. This difference between an initial attraction and a long-term relationship also applies to theories about the nature of romantic love, including those by psychologists Elaine Hatfield and Robert Sternberg. For most couples, the early stage of a relationship is dominated by passionate love, accompanied by high emotional arousal. If the relationship endures over time, it generally shifts to companionate love, a calmer but still deeply satisfying bond.
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4. Some researchers claim that love has three components: passion, intimacy, and commitment. Passionate love combines passion and intimacy, while companionate love combines intimacy and commitment.
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5. Clearly, intimacy is important in both friendships and romantic relationships. Intimacy is fostered by self-disclosure, as people share very personal details about their experiences and their interests. Intimacy is also strengthened when friends or lovers provide emotional support (and physical support) in times of distress.
Practice 1: Factors That Influence Attraction
Practice 1: Factors That Influence Attraction
Roll over each term to see how that factor helps determine which individuals we choose as friends or lovers.
proximity
similarity
physical attractiveness
Shared environments (at work, school, or in the neighborhood) promote attraction by bringing people into frequent contact, increasing familiarity and liking.
Shared characteristics (personality, interests, or attitudes) promote attraction by increasing a sense of connection and comfort in each other’s presence.
Pleasant facial features and healthy body shape promote initial attraction.
Practice 2: Types of Romantic Love
Practice 2: Types of Romantic Love
Roll over each image to see the components of that type of romantic love.
Passionate love: romantic attachment involving intense emotional and physiological arousal, along with strong sexual desire; a blend of passion and intimacy associated with the initial stage of a relationship
Companionate love: romantic attachment involving deep affection, tenderness, trust, and warmth; a blend of intimacy and commitment associated with enduring relationships
Quiz 1
Quiz 1
Match the terms with their descriptions by dragging each colored circle to the appropriate gray circle. When all the circles have been placed, select the CHECK ANSWER button.
Quiz 2
Quiz 2
Match the terms with the romantic scenarios by dragging each term to the gray area by the appropriate scenario. When all the terms have been placed, select the CHECK ANSWER button.