Instructor comments on any work that you have done can help you identify mistakes, particularly ones that you make repeatedly, and can point you toward larger issues that prevent your writing from being as effective as it could be. Whether or not you will have an opportunity to revise a particular piece of writing, you should look closely at the comments from your instructor.
In responding to student writing, however, instructors sometimes use phrases or comments that are a kind of shorthand—comments that are perfectly clear to the instructor but may be less clear to the students reading them. The instructor comments in the following chart, culled from over a thousand first-year student essays, are among those that you may find most puzzling. Alongside each comment you’ll find information intended to allow you to revise as your instructor recommends. If your paper includes a puzzling comment that is not listed here, be sure to ask your instructor what the comment means and how you can fix the problem.
| Instructor Comment | Actions to Take in Response |
|---|---|
| thesis not clear | Make sure that you have a main point, and state it directly. The rest of the paper will need to support the main point, too—this problem cannot be corrected by adding a sentence or two. |
| trying to do too much covers too much ground | Focus your main point more narrowly (7a) so that you can explain your topic fully in a project of the assigned length. You may need to cut back on some material and then provide evidence and details to expand what remains. |
| hard to follow not logical incoherent jumps around parts not connected transition | If overall organization is unclear, try mapping or outlining and rearranging your work. (7d) See if transitions and signals or additional explanation will solve the problem. |
| too general vague | Use concrete language and details, and make sure that you have something specific and interesting to say. (23c) If not, reconsider your topic. |
| underdeveloped thin sparse | Add examples and details, and be as specific as possible. (23c) You may need to do more research. (Chapters 15–17) |
| what about the opposition? one-sided condescending overbearing | Add information on why some people disagree with you, and represent their views fairly and completely before you refute them. Recognize that reasonable people may hold views that differ from yours. (14e) |
| repetitive you've already said this | Revise any parts of your writing that repeat an argument, point, word, or phrase; avoid using the same evidence over and over. |
| awk awkward | Ask a peer or your instructor for suggestions about revising awkward sentences. (Chapters 25–30) |
| syntax awkward syntax convoluted | Read the sentence aloud to identify the problem; revise or replace the sentence. (Chapters 25–30) |
| unclear | Find another way to explain what you mean; add any background information or examples that your audience may need to follow your reasoning. |
| tone too conversational not an academic voice too informal colloquial | Consider your audience and genre, and revise material that may suggest that you are not serious about the topic, audience, or assignment. (Chapter 23) |
| pompous stilted stiff | Make sure you understand the connotations of the words you use. Revise material that adds nothing to your meaning, no matter how impressive it sounds. (23a and b) |
| set up quotation integrate quotation | Read the sentence containing the quotation aloud; revise it if it does not make sense as a sentence. Introduce every quotation with information about the source. Explain each quotation’s importance to your work. (Chapter 18) |
| your words? source? cite | Mark all quotations clearly. Cite paraphrases and summaries of others’ ideas. Give credit for help from others, and remember that you are responsible for your own work. (Chapters 17 and 18) |
| doc | Check the citations to be sure that you include all of the required information, that you punctuate correctly, and that you omit information not required by the documentation style. (Chapters 49–55) |