Chapter Introduction

CHAPTER 14

Interpersonal Attraction

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TOPIC OVERVIEW

  • The Need to Belong

    Do We Really Need to Belong?

    Evolution and Belonging

  • The Basics of Interpersonal Attraction

    Proximity: Like the One You’re With

    The Reward Model of Liking

    Others’ Attributes Can Be Rewarding

    Attraction to Those Who Fulfill Needs

  • Physical Attractiveness

    The Importance of Physical Attractiveness

    Common Denominators of Attractive Faces

  • SOCIAL PSYCH OUT IN THE WORLD
    Sexual Orientation and Attraction

    Gender Differences In What Is Attractive

    Cultural and Situational Influences on Attractiveness

    Application: Living Up to Unrealistic Ideals

    Is Appearance Destiny?

  • Gender Differences in Sexual Attitudes and Behaviors

    An Evolutionary Perspective

    Cultural Influences

    Your Cheating Heart: Reactions to Infidelity

  • SOCIAL PSYCH AT THE MOVIES
    Human Attraction in Best in Show

    Final Thoughts

Will Smith stars in the movie I Am Legend, based on Richard Matheson’s science fiction novel about how a man comes to terms with being the last living person on Earth. Why are we so intrigued by this plot, and what does that tell us about our need for other people?
[Warner Bros. Pictures/Photofest]

You wake up one morning, and things are surprisingly quiet. The low murmur of accelerating traffic that usually hums just outside your window cannot be heard. You check your phone. “That’s strange,” you think to yourself, “no new texts or e-mails.” Walking around campus, you don’t see a single soul. As the day goes on, the bizarre truth dawns on you: You are completely, utterly alone.

This scenario—with slight variations—has been the plot of numerous science fiction novels, television shows, and movies, most recently I Am Legend, starring Will Smith (Goldsman et al., 2007). Why are so many people fascinated by the idea of an individual coming to terms with being the only person left on the planet? Perhaps it allows us to indulge vicariously in the feeling of complete freedom from the constraints and demands imposed on us by others. With everyone else wiped out by a virus or nuclear war, nothing would stop you from sleeping in every morning, availing yourself of the finest consumer goods, and enjoying some peace and quiet.

No, the real reason we watch is that we know, deep down, that complete isolation would be a horrible fate, and we wonder how Will Smith or anyone else could survive it. The fact is that we need intimate contact with other people. Our relationships with family members, friends, and romantic partners are central and indispensable parts of our lives. We spend a great deal of time and energy seeking out new relationships and working to maintain and improve the ones we have. What’s more, our close relationships can be a source of great joy when they go well but a source of misery and frustration when they don’t.

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This and the next, final chapter are devoted to the many discoveries that social psychologists have made regarding interpersonal attraction and close relationships—our liking and loving of other people. In this first chapter, we will begin by considering why we humans need to form and sustain social relationships. Then we will focus on the factors that determine who is attracted to, and forms relationships with, whom. We will take a close look at physical attractiveness and conclude by considering sex differences in sexual attitudes and behavior, and jealousy. In our second chapter we will focus on the nature and functioning of close relationships.