Defining Romantic Relationships

Romantic love may not be essential to life, but it may be essential to joy. Life without love would be for many people like a black-and-white movie—full of events and activities but without the color that gives vibrancy and provides a sense of celebration. Beyond the theories, beyond the research, romantic love is one of life’s compensations for drudgery, illness, and, perhaps in some small way, for mortality.2

—love researchers Clyde and Susan Hendrick

We often think of romantic relationships as exciting and filled with promise—a joyful fusion of closeness, communication, and sexual connection. When researchers Pamela Regan, Elizabeth Kocan, and Teresa Whitlock (1998) asked several hundred people to list the things they associated most with “being in love,” the most frequent responses were trust, honesty, happiness, bondedness, companionship, communication, caring, intimacy, shared laughter, and sexual desire. But apart from such associations, what exactly is romantic love? How does it differ from liking? How does interpersonal communication shape love relationships? The answers to these questions can help you build more satisfying romantic partnerships.

2The quote is excerpted from Hendrick & Hendrick (1992, p. 117).