Managing your emotions is part of emotional intelligence: the ability to interpret emotions accurately and to use this information to manage emotions, communicate them competently, and solve relationship problems (Gross & John, 2002). People with high degrees of emotional intelligence typically possess four skills:

Given that emotional intelligence (EI) involves understanding emotions coupled with the ability to manage them in ways that optimize interpersonal competence, it’s not surprising that people with high EI experience a broad range of positive outcomes. For example, within leadership positions, people with high EI are more likely than low-EI people to garner trust, inspire followers, and be perceived as having integrity (Kotzé & Venter, 2011). High-EI individuals are less likely than low-EI people to bully people, or use violence to get what they want (Mayer, Salovey, & Caruso, 2004). High-EI people even find it easier to forgive relational partners who have wronged them, because of their strong empathy and skill at emotion management (Hodgson & Wertheim, 2007).

Of the skills comprising emotional intelligence, emotion management is arguably the most important one to improve because—as demonstrated by Mischel’s research—it directly influences your communication choices and the outcomes that result (Lopes et al., 2005). Emotion management involves attempts to influence which emotions you have, when you have them, and how you experience and express them (Gross et al., 2006). Emotions naturally trigger attempts to manage them. Consequently, the practical issue is not whether you will manage your emotions, but how you can do so in ways that improve your interpersonal communication and relationships.