No magic pill can erase the suffering associated with a grievous loss. It seems ludicrous to think of applying strategies such as reappraisal, encounter structuring, or the Jefferson strategy to such pain. Grief is a unique emotional experience, and none of the emotion management strategies discussed in this chapter so far can help you.

Instead, you must use emotion-sharing: talking about your grief with others who are experiencing or have experienced similar pain, or people who are skilled at providing you with much-needed emotional support and comfort. Participating in a support group for people who have suffered similar losses can encourage you to share your emotions. When you share your grief, you feel powerfully connected with others—and this sense of connection can be a source of comfort. You also gain affirmation that the grief process you’re experiencing is normal. For example, a fellow support-group participant who also lost his mother to cancer might tell you that he, too, finds Mother’s Day a particularly painful time. Finally, other participants in a support group can help you remember that grief does get gradually more bearable over time.

For those of us without ready access to face-to-face support groups, online support offers a viable alternative. Besides not requiring transportation and allowing access to written records of any “missed” meetings, online support groups also provide a certain degree of anonymity for people who feel shy or uncomfortable within traditional group settings (Weinberg, Schmale, Uken, & Wessel, 1995). You can interact in a way that preserves some degree of privacy. This is an important advantage, as many people find it easier to “discuss” sensitive topics online than face-to-face, where they’d run the risk of embarrassment (Furger, 1996).