Evaluating Communication Ethics: The Accidental Relationship Counselor

EVALUATING COMMUNICATION ETHICS

Evaluating Communication Ethics

The Accidental Relationship Counselor

You and your sister Ellen are close in age—she’s only a year younger than you—and are very close friends. And while it was weird when Ellen began dating your best friend, Steve, during your junior year of high school, over the past few years you’ve gotten used to them being together. They’ve been dating for three years now, and you still hang out with them all the time, both individually and as a couple.

But lately you’ve been noticing that their relationship isn’t as close as it used to be. Even though you all commute to the same community college, you’ve noticed that Ellen and Steve aren’t always together the way they used to be. While you and Steve navigated the campus together as freshmen last year, Ellen is tackling her first year at school in a more independent manner. She is making lots of new friends, joining campus clubs, and spending a lot of time away from Steve (and you). While you’re happy to see your little sister spreading her wings, you worry about her future with Steve.

Making things worse, Steve is confiding his doubts about the relationship in you—he tells you that he thinks Ellen might be interested in other guys and asks you if she has mentioned anyone in particular. He then mentions that there is girl in one of his classes who he thinks might like him. Meanwhile, Ellen mentions that she’s disappointed in the way Steve is handling college. When the three of you had lunch recently, Ellen publicly vented her frustration at Steve: “You still act like you’re in high school. You have all the same friends, all the same interests. Don’t you want to experience something new?” As awkward as that encounter was, you feel even worse when Ellen later confides to you privately: “I feel like maybe it’s time we broke up. What do you think?”

You always knew that the day might come when Steve and Ellen split up, but you never imagined you’d feel so caught in the middle. You know that Steve loves her and wants to stay together, but at the same time you know that Ellen isn’t entirely happy in the relationship. What will you do?

Think About This

  1. You know that both Ellen and Steve rely on you as a friend (and in Ellen’s case, as family). How can you maintain your relationships with both of them even as their relationship with each other is falling apart? Is it fair of them to involve you at all?

    Question

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    You know that both Ellen and Steve rely on you as a friend (and in Ellen’s case, as family). How can you maintain your relationships with both of them even as their relationship with each other is falling apart? Is it fair of them to involve you at all?
  2. What outcomes are possible here? Can you provide advice to help them stay together? Should you?

    Question

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    What outcomes are possible here? Can you provide advice to help them stay together? Should you?
  3. What do you think of Steve mentioning another girl? Would it affect you differently if Ellen were just a friend, and not your sister?

    Question

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    What do you think of Steve mentioning another girl? Would it affect you differently if Ellen were just a friend, and not your sister?