Assessing your own competence is a useful step in understanding and improving your personal communication behaviors.
Complete the following questionnaire, evaluating your behavior with a long-standing partner in mind (for example, close friend, family member, romantic partner). Rate each on the following scale: 5 = strongly agree; 4 = agree; 3 = undecided or neutral; 2 = disagree; and 1 = strongly disagree. Then add your responses and check the key for feedback on your competence.
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1. I find it easy to get along with others. |
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2. I am “rewarding” to talk to. |
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3. I can deal with others effectively. |
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4. I am a good listener. |
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5. I won’t argue with someone just to prove I’m right. |
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6. I generally know how others feel. |
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7. I let others know I understand them. |
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8. I am relaxed and comfortable when speaking. |
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9. I listen to what people say to me. |
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10. I generally know what type of behavior is appropriate in any given situation. |
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11. I typically do not make unusual demands on my friends. |
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12. I am an effective conversationalist. |
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13. I am supportive of others. |
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14. I am sensitive to others’ needs of the moment. |
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15. I pay attention to the conversation. |
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16. I am generally relaxed when conversing with a new acquaintance. |
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17. I am generally relaxed when conversing with a new acquaintance. |
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18. I am interested in what my partner(s) have to say. |
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19. I am a likeable person. |
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20. I generally say the right thing at the right time. |
Your score: out of 100
You frequently find yourself tense in communication situations, worried about how to adapt to your partner and the situation. You may be unconcerned or not tuned into the communication situation.
You are competent at times but are sometimes unsure of what to say or do when you communicate with others. Sometimes you care more about being effective than appropriate, and at other times you worry more about being appropriate than being effective.
You perceive yourself as highly competent; you are comfortable with your communication behavior and are usually both appropriate and effective in your communication.
Note: your scores may change across situations (and with different people).
Source: Adapted from J. M. Wiemann (1977). Used with permission.