10.6 THE PRIMACY OF FAMILY

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THE PRIMACY OF FAMILY

Family ties run so deep that we often use kinship as a metaphor to describe closeness in other relationships

As with romantic relationships, the day-to-day work of maintaining family bonds isn't especially glamorous. Birth, adoption, marriage, or remarriage may structure your family, but the quality of your family relationships is defined by whether you invest time and energy in your interpersonal communication. Such efforts don't have to be complex: a story told to your child or shared with a sibling, gratitude expressed to a parent, an affectionate e-mail sent to a grandparent—all of these simple acts of communication keep your family bonds alive and thriving.

Yet we often neglect to communicate with family members in these ways, in part because such relationships lack the sparkle, excitement, and drama of romances. When we dismiss, look past, or simply take for granted our families, we're like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz—running away from Auntie Em and the farm, thinking we'll do just fine on our own.

But life is not a skip down the yellow brick road. When we battle metaphorical witches in the form of hardship, disappointment, and even tragedy, it's our family members who often lock arms with us. They're the ones who help us charge forward, even though we're afraid or discouraged. The truth about our family relationships stands like the wizard behind the curtain. When you step forward boldly and pull the curtain back, it's revealed. There is no place like home.