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Personality
Like culture and gender, personality exerts a pronounced impact on our emotions. Recall the Big Five personality traits described in Chapter 3—openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism (or OCEAN). Of these five, three strongly influence our experience and communication of emotion (Pervin, 1993). The first is extraversion, the degree to which one is outgoing and sociable versus quiet and reserved. High-extraversion people experience positive emotions more frequently than low-extraversion people. The greater occurrence of positive emotions appears to be due to enhanced sensitivity to positive events. Put simply, high-extraversion people “look for happiness” in their everyday lives, focusing their attention more on positive events than on negative (Larsen & Ketelaar, 1991). High-extraversion people also rate themselves as better able to cope with stress and more skilled at managing their emotional communication than do low-extraversion people (Lopes, Salovey, Cote, & Beers, 2005).
Another personality trait that influences emotion is agreeableness. People high in agreeableness—those who are trusting, friendly, and cooperative—report being happier in general, better able to manage stress, and more skilled at managing their emotional communication than low-agreeable people. High-agreeable people also score substantially higher on measures of emotion management and are rated by their peers as having superior emotion management skills (Lopes et al., 2005).
The tendency to think negative thoughts about oneself, known as neuroticism, also affects emotional experience and expression. High-neurotic people focus their attention primarily on negative events (Larsen & Ketelaar, 1991). Consequently, they report more frequent negative emotions than do low-neurotic people and rate themselves as less happy overall. They also describe themselves as less skilled at emotional communication, and they test lower on scientific measures of emotion management than do low-neurotic people (Lopes et al., 2005).
Although these findings seem to suggest that highly neurotic people are doomed to lives of negative emotion, this isn’t necessarily the case. Psychologist Albert Ellis (1913–2007) dedicated much of his professional life to helping neurotics change their self-defeating beliefs. Ellis believed that much of neurosis—and its accompanying emotional states such as sadness, anger, and anxiety—is tied to three extreme, irrational beliefs: “I must be outstandingly competent or I am worthless,” “Others must treat me considerately or they are absolutely rotten,” and “The world should always give me happiness or I will die” (Ellis & Dryden, 1997). Ellis developed Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) as a way for therapists to help neurotic patients systematically purge themselves of such beliefs.
If you find yourself habitually plagued by negative thoughts similar to those mentioned above, you can use Ellis’s five steps on your own to change your thoughts and the negative emotions that flow from them. First, call to mind common situations that lead you to be upset. Second, identify irrational beliefs about your self and others that are tied to these situations. Third, consider the emotional, behavioral, and relational consequences that you suffer as a result of these beliefs—negative outcomes that you would like to change. Fourth, critically challenge these beliefs—disputing their validity. Is there really any support for these beliefs? What evidence contradicts them? What is the worst thingthat can happen if you abandon these beliefs? The best thing that can happen? Finally, identify more accurate and realistic beliefs about yourself, others, and the world at large that cause more positive emotional, behavioral, and relational outcomes, and embrace these beliefs fully.
Clearly, your degree of extraversion, agreeableness, and especially neuroticism influences how often you experience positive and negative emotions and how effectively you manage and communicate these emotions. At the same time, keep in mind that personality is merely one of many pieces that make up the complex puzzle that is emotion. Part of becoming a competent emotional communicator is learning how your personality traits shade your emotional experience and expression, and treating personality-based emotion differences in others with sensitivity and understanding.