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Communicating Through Time
It’s the middle of a busy workday. Looming over you is a 3 p.m. deadline for a report and a 3:30 appointment with the dentist. Suddenly your father calls. He wants to talk to you about plans for an upcoming surprise party for your mother. Should you disrupt your work schedule and talk or tell your father that another time would be more convenient?
Dilemmas such as this revolve around chronemics, the way you use time to communicate during interpersonal encounters. Edward Hall, who pioneered work on proxemics, also wrote extensively on chronemics (from the Greek word khronos, meaning “time”). Hall distinguished between two time orientations: M-time and P-time (Hall, 1997b).
People who have an M-time (or monochronic) orientation value careful scheduling and time management. They view time as a precious resource: it can be saved, spent, wasted, lost, or made up, and it can even run out. So, if you have an M-time view, you likely would perceive your father’s call as an interruption, and time taken during the workday to discuss a party as “misspent.” Many people living in cultures where M-time is emphasized (such as the United States) think M-time is the only reasonable way of organizing life. As Hall (1997b) notes, time for M-time people “is so thoroughly woven into the fabric of our existence that we hardly are aware of the degree to which it determines and coordinates everything we do, including our relationships with others—social and business life, even one’s sex life, is commonly schedule-dominated” (pp. 278–279).
If you’re an M-time person, “spending time” with someone, or “making time” in your schedule to share activities with him or her, sends the message that you consider that person and your relationship important (Hall, 1983). You may view time as a gift you give to others to show love or caring, or a tool with which you can punish (“I no longer have time for you”).
In contrast to M-time, people who have a P-time (or polychronic) orientation don’t view time as a resource to be spent, saved, or guarded. And they rarely think of time as “wasted.” If you’re a P-time person, you might view your father’s phone call as a welcome reprieve from the stress of work and an opportunity for an enjoyable and lengthy conversation.
Differences in time orientation can create problems when people from different cultures make appointments with each other (Hall, 1983). For example, those with an M-time orientation, such as many Americans, often become impatient if P-time people show up “late” for a meeting. In cultures with a heavy P-time emphasis, such as those in Middle Eastern, African, Caribbean, and Latin American countries, arriving 30 minutes or more after a meeting’s scheduled start is considered “on time,” and changing important plans at the last minute is viewed as acceptable.
How can you become more sensitive to other people’s time frames and, as a result, improve your nonverbal communication? Learn about the time orientation of a destination or country before traveling there. Also, respect others’ time orientation. If you’re an M-time person interacting with a P-time individual, don’t abruptly end the encounter because you feel you have to stick to your schedule. Your communication partner will likely view you as rude. If you’re a P-time person interacting with an M-time partner, realize that he or she likely views the interaction as time-bounded. This individual may view a lengthy, leisurely conversation or late arrival to an appointment as inconsiderate. In addition, avoid criticizing or complaining about behaviors that stem from others’ alternative time orientations. Instead, accept the unavoidable fact that others may have views of time markedly different from yours, and be willing to adapt your own use of time when interacting with them.