8.8 MANAGING CONFLICT AND POWER

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Managing Conflict and Power

Conflicts can be opportunities for positive change

Whether it’s big or small, when a dispute arises, you may feel that no one else has ever had the same thoughts and emotions. The anger, fear of escalation, pain of hurtful comments that should have been left unsaid, and uncertainty associated with not knowing the long-term relationship outcomes combine to make the experience intense and draining.

But conflicts and struggles over power needn’t be destructive. Though they carry risk, they also provide the opportunity to engineer positive change in the way you communicate with others and manage your relationships. Through conflict, you can resolve problems that, left untouched, would have eroded your relationship or deprived you of greater happiness in the future. The key distinguishing feature between conflict and power struggles that destroy and those that create opportunities for improvement is how you interpersonally communicate.

We’ve discussed a broad range of communication skills that can help you manage conflict and power more effectively. Whether it’s using collaborative approaches, critiquing your perceptions and attributions, knowing when to take a conflict offline, or being sensitive to gender and cultural differences, you now know the skills necessary for successfully managing the disagreements, disputes, and contests that will erupt in your life. It is up to you now to take these skills and put them into practice.

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Figure 8.19: Conflicts do not need to destroy your closest interpersonal relationships. When navigating a challenging conflict with a loved one, remember that renewed intimacy and happiness may be just around the corner.