Family Communication Patterns

According to communication scholars Ascan Koerner and Mary Anne Fitzpatrick (2006), conversation and conformity dimensions give rise to four possible family communication patterns: consensual, pluralistic, protective, and laissez-faire.

Consensual Families Families high in both conversation and conformity are consensual families. In such families, members are encouraged to openly share their views with one another as well as debate these beliefs. Consensual family communication is marked by high disclosure, attentive listening, and frequent expressions of caring, concern, and support toward one another (Rueter & Koerner, 2008). At the same time, consensual family members are expected to steadfastly share a single viewpoint. Parents in such households typically exert strong control over the attitudes, behaviors, and interactions of their children (Rueter & Koerner, 2008). For example, parents may encourage their children to share their thoughts and feelings about important issues (“What do you think we should do?”), but then make clear that only one perspective (the parents’) is acceptable. Because of their emphasis on conformity, consensual families perceive conflict as intensely threatening. Consequently, they address conflicts as they occur and seek to resolve them as constructively as possible to preserve family unity.

Pluralistic Families Families high in conversation but low in conformity are pluralistic families. They communicate in open and unconstrained ways, discussing a broad range of topics and exploring them in depth. Pluralistic families enjoy debating the issues of the day, and judge one another’s arguments on their merit rather than whether they mesh with other members’ attitudes. People in pluralistic families typically don’t try to control other family members’ beliefs or attitudes (Rueter & Koerner, 2008). Since parents don’t feel compelled to wield power over their children, children’s contributions to family discussions and decision making are treated as relevant and equally valid. For example, parents in a pluralistic family might ask for their children’s opinions regarding a job opportunity (“Should Mom accept the offer from TelCo?”) or a family vacation (“Where should we go this year?”). Pluralistic families deal directly with conflict, seeking to resolve disputes in productive, mutually beneficial ways. They may, for instance, establish “official” times (such as mealtimes or family meetings) when members can vent their concerns and work collaboratively to settle them. For this reason, pluralistic family members report the highest rates of conflict resolution of any of the four family types.

Protective Families protective families are low on conversation and high on conformity. Communication in these families functions to maintain obedience and enforce family norms, and little value is placed on the exchange of ideas or the development of communication skills. Parent-child power differences are firmly enforced, and children are expected to quietly obey. Sayings such as “Children should be seen and not heard” and “Children should speak when spoken to” reflect this mind-set. Parents invest little effort in creating opportunities for family discussion, and the result is low levels of disclosure amongst family members (Rueter & Koerner, 2008). Protective families avoid conflict because it threatens the conformity they value and because they often lack the skills necessary to manage conflicts constructively. Members may tell each other, “Don’t make waves,” or “You don’t want to cause trouble.”

Laissez-Faire Families Families low in both conversation and conformity are laissez-faire families. Few emotional bonds exist between their members, resulting in low levels of caring, concern, and support expressed within the family (Rueter & Koerner, 2008). Their detachment shows itself in a lack of interaction and a decided disinterest in activities that might foster communication or maintenance of the family as a unit. Similar to parents in pluralistic families, laissez-faire parents believe that children should be independent thinkers and decision makers. But this belief derives from their disinterest in their children’s thoughts and decisions. Such parents tend to leave it up to their children to form their own opinions regarding sexual behavior, drug and alcohol usage, and educational achievement. Because members of such families interact infrequently, they rarely get embroiled in conflict. If a disagreement does erupt, they avoid it or (if they feel strongly invested in the issues at stake) they compete to “win” the debate.