152

In the award-winning movie Gran Torino, Clint Eastwood plays Walt, a bitter, racist widower who lives alone in Michigan, estranged from his sons. Despite his bigoted attitudes, Walt strikes up a friendship with two Hmong teens who live next door, Sue and Thao, after he saves Thao from a gang beating. To help Walt communicate more competently with the Hmong, Sue teaches him some simple cultural rules: Never touch a Hmong on the head because they believe that the soul resides there. Don’t look a Hmong straight in the eye; they consider it rude. Don’t be surprised if a Hmong smiles when he or she is embarrassed; that’s how they handle that emotion. In return, Walt teaches Thao how to interpersonally interact during a job interview with an American construction foreman: “Look him straight in the eye, and give a firm handshake!” He even instructs Thao on the art of trading teasing insults with American male friends. As these unlikely friendships deepen, Walt (to his astonishment) realizes he has more in common with his neighbors than with his own family.

Like Walt, Thao, and Sue, you will likely form lasting bonds with people who come from cultures vastly different from your own. The gateway to such connections is intercultural competence, the ability to communicate appropriately, effectively, and ethically with people from diverse backgrounds. You can strengthen your intercultural competence by applying the following practices: world-mindedness, attributional complexity, and communication accommodation.

WORLD-MINDEDNESS

When you possess world-mindedness, you demonstrate acceptance and respect toward other cultures’ beliefs, values, and customs (Hammer, Bennett, & Wiseman, 2003). You can practice world-mindedness in three ways. First, accept others’ expression of their culture or co-culture as a natural element in their interpersonal communication, just as your communication reflects your cultural background (Chen & Starosta, 2005). Second, avoid any temptation to judge others’ cultural beliefs, attitudes, and values as “better” or “worse” than your own. Third, treat people from all cultures with respect.

This can be especially challenging when differences seem impossible to bridge or when the other person’s beliefs, attitudes, and values conflict with your own. But practicing world-mindedness means more than just tolerating cultural differences you find perplexing or problematic. Instead, treat all people with respect by being kind and courteous in your communication. You can also preserve others’ personal dignity by actively listening to and asking questions about viewpoints that may differ from yours.

153

World-mindedness is the opposite of ethnocentrism, the belief that one’s own cultural beliefs, attitudes, values, and practices are superior to others’. Ethnocentrism is not the same thing as pride in your cultural heritage, or patriotism. You can be culturally proud, or patriotic, and not be ethnocentric. Instead, ethnocentrism is a comparative evaluation: ethnocentric people view their own culture or co-culture as the standard against which all other cultures should be judged, and they often have contempt for other cultures (Neulip & McCroskey, 1997; Sumner, 1906). Consequently, such people tend to see their own communication as competent and that of people from other cultures as incompetent.

ATTRIBUTIONAL COMPLEXITY

When you practice attributional complexity, you acknowledge that other people’s behaviors have complex causes. To develop this ability, observe others’ behavior and analyze the various forces influencing it. For example, rather than deciding that a classmate’s reserved demeanor or limited eye contact means she’s unfriendly, consider the possibility that these behaviors might reflect cultural differences.

Also, learn as much as you can about different cultures and co-cultures, so you can better understand people’s interpersonal communication styles and preferences. Experiencing other cultures through observation, travel, or interaction is a great way to sharpen your intercultural communication competence (Arasaratnam, 2006).

In addition, routinely use perception-checking to avoid attributional errors, and regularly demonstrate empathy to identify with others. In situations where the cultural gaps between you and others seem impossibly wide, try to see things from their perspective. Consider the motivations behind their communication. Examine how people from diverse backgrounds make decisions, and compare their approaches to yours. Finally, ask others to explain the reasons for their behavior, and then accept and validate their explanations (“That makes sense to me”) rather than challenge them (“You’ve got to be kidding!”). Avoid making statements like “I know that people like you act this way because you think that . . . ,” because you’ll only come across as presumptuous.

COMMUNICATION ACCOMMODATION

A final way to enhance your intercultural competence is to adjust your interpersonal communication to mesh with the behaviors of people from other cultures. According to communication accommodation theory, people are especially motivated to adapt their communication when they seek social approval, when they wish to establish relationships with others, and when they view others’ language use as appropriate (Giles, Coupland, & Coupland, 1991). In contrast, people tend to accentuate differences between their communication and others’ when they wish to convey emotional distance and disassociate themselves from others. Research suggests that people who use communication accommodation are perceived as being more competent (Coupland, Giles, & Wiemann, 1991; Giles et al., 1991).

154

How does this work in practice? Try adapting to other people’s communication preferences (Bianconi, 2002). During interpersonal interactions, notice how long a turn people take when speaking, how quickly they speak, how direct they are, and how much they appear to want to talk compared to you. You may also need to learn and practice cultural norms for nonverbal behaviors, including eye contact, head touching, and handshaking, such as those Sue taught Walt in Gran Torino. At the same time, avoid imitating other people’s dialects, accents, or word choices. Most people consider such imitation inappropriate and insulting.

155

For an overview of ways to create intercultural communication competence, see Table 5.1, which pulls together everything you’ve learned in this chapter.