STEPHANIE BUEHLER: Hi, I'm Dr. Stephanie Buehler. I'm a psychologist and sex therapist and director of the Buehler Institute. The sexual climate I grew up in was unique because the sexual revolution was going on. And I was living in Los Angeles, in the San Fernando Valley, which was really kind of the heart of where a lot of things were happening of a sexual nature.
When I was a graduate student, listening to role plays, I would say, well, what about their sex life? But my professors didn't talk about that very much. And I was a little ostracized by other students. It's an uncomfortable topic for a lot of instructors. It's an uncomfortable topic for almost everybody.
I first opened the Institute about 12 years ago. There was really only one other sex therapist here in Orange County where I practice. The climate has changed over the years, and now we have several sex therapists.
I see people from 18 to 80, 60% couples, 40% individuals. People come in with every kind of sexual problem that you can imagine, from women with low sexual desire, to things that are much more unusual, say, a man who has a particular kind of fetish that is really bothering him. I'm actually getting a lot of men who come in complaining about internet pornography. And they want to understand why they're doing this behavior and to change it.
My clients, especially if they're a bit older-- they'll say, gee, I've had sex. We do it, but we never talk about it. So my challenge is to get them communicating. That's one of the real keys of having good sex.
I actually have a book about this topic because I do get clients in my office who will say, well, we went to a therapist for help. And the therapist said, ah, I don't do sex. The idea behind the book was to make all therapists comfortable with this topic of sexuality. I've trained several therapists in my practice to be sex therapists. Therapists who are more in a rural area, we'll do supervision by phone or over the internet.
In order to call yourself a sex therapist, you need to have the appropriate amount of education, as well as training and supervision. So I needed to do a specific number of educational hours. It was really pretty rigorous.
I tell my clients, just showing up, whether it's every week or every other week, if you make that commitment, you will see change. People have had successful intercourse after not having been able to. And I kind of joke that I should have a little refrigerator and some non-alcoholic apple cider so that we can celebrate. We did it, we had sex, and it was good, and we enjoyed it. It's a fascinating career that I have.