Creating a Dominant Impression

The most effective description creates a dominant impression, a mood or an atmosphere that reinforces the writer’s purpose. Naming, detailing, comparing, and sensory language—all the choices about what to include and what to call things—come together to create this effect, as the following passage by Mary McCarthy illustrates. Notice that McCarthy directly states the idea she is trying to convey in the last sentence of the paragraph:

Whenever we children came to stay at my grandmother’s house, we were put to sleep in the sewing room, a bleak, shabby, utilitarian rectangle, more office than bedroom, more attic than office, that played to the hierarchy of chambers the role of a poor relation. It was a room seldom entered by the other members of the family, seldom swept by the maid, a room without pride; the old sewing machine, some cast-off chairs, a shadeless lamp, rolls of wrapping paper, piles of pins, and remnants of material united with the iron folding cots put out for our use and the bare floor boards to give an impression of intense and ruthless temporality. Thin, white spreads, of the kind used in hospitals and charity institutions, and naked blinds at the windows reminded us of our orphaned condition and of the ephemeral character of our visit; there was nothing here to encourage us to consider this our home.

— MARY MCCARTHY, Memories of a Catholic Girlhood

Like McCarthy and her brothers, the things in the room were unwanted, discarded, orphaned. Even the room itself is described in terms applicable to the children: Like them, it “played to the hierarchy of chambers the role of a poor relation.”

Sometimes writers comment directly in a description, as McCarthy does. Often, however, writers want description to speak for itself, as in the following example:

Hanging from the ceiling there was a heavy glass chandelier on which the dust was so thick that it was like fur. And covering most of one wall there was a huge hideous piece of junk, something between a sideboard and a hall-stand, with lots of carving and little drawers and strips of looking-glass, and there was a once-gaudy carpet ringed by the slop-pails of years, and two gilt chairs with burst seats, and one of those old-fashioned armchairs which you slide off when you try to sit on them. The room had been turned into a bedroom by thrusting four squalid beds in among the wreckage.

— GEORGE ORWELL, The Road to Wigan Pier

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EXERCISE 15.14

Turn to “The Long Good-Bye: Mother’s Day in Federal Prison” by Amanda Coyne in Chapter 3 and read paragraph 3. What seems to you to be the dominant impression of this description? What do you think contributes most to this impression?