Full Persuasive Speech: "Without Liberty and Justice for All" by Enrique Morales

Audience Analysis

Enrique uses personal narration to establish commonality with his audience immediately. His story of friends enjoying shopping and driving together in a new car is instantly something his listeners relate to. Further, Enrique ties his experience and his persuasive topic to his audience by drawing attention to the fact that eleven in the room are of minority groups. His example of the student with long hair driving an old van extends his reach and appeal. Enrique uses everyday language and personal experience to encourage audience sympathy for his message.

Content and Supporting Ideas

Enrique's message is organized as a problem-solution format. The first portion of his speech establishes racial profiling as a "nationwide problem" and in the second half he develops three clear remedies or solutions to the problem. As Enrique establishes the problem of racial profiling her relies heavily on anecdotal evidence supplemented two statistics that are limited to profiling blacks. The solutions Enrique offers are better described and well documented. Here his ethos is stronger, bolstered with well-credentialed and cited sources. Enrique uses long quotations to present his solutions. It would be helpful if he would end his quotes with paraphrases, putting the ideas into his own words. Internal summaries, in his own words would help fix the solutions in the minds of his audience.

Introduction/Transitions/Conclusion

Personal narrative is a dramatic way to gain audience attention. Enrique garners credibility and sympathy as he describes the anger and humiliation of racial profiling that he experienced. Dramatic words such as "guns drawn, all of us forced out of the car" underscore the emotions of his topic and use pathos to further his persuasive goal. Enrique suggests a definition of racial profiling. This might be drawn more sharply. His preview of the thesis and main points is also weak and inaccurate.

Enrique delivers several strong and helpful transitions. For instance, to cue the switch from the problem to the solution he offers a clear transition: "Now that we have seen the need to curtail racial profiling, let's turn our attention to some solutions." His list of solutions is cued simply and effectively with words like "one remedy," "another step," and "a third remedy."

The conclusion offers a partial summary of the problem and solutions to the problem. This could be crafted with more completeness. Enrique's last line appeals to pathos and stirs the heart with an appeal to American values.

Delivery

Enrique would appear more confident and comfortable if he released his hands from behind his back and prevented himself from rocking side to side. He is sincere and expressive facially. His eye contact is direct and genuine whenever he is not looking down at his notes. The long quotations he incorporates in the second half of his speech divert his eyes from the audience. Further practice or holding his notes in his hands, closer to himself, might correct some of the long gazes downward. Vocally, Enrique has strengths and weaknesses. Occasionally, he mispronounces or slurs some of his words. "Discriminatory" was mispronounced. Further preparation could solve these problems. When speaking about his own experience, Enrique is at his best vocally. He sounds genuine, engaged, and he emphasizes key words, such as "police must unlearn..." In his conclusion, when he begins with the phrase "hopefully none of you will ever be victimized..." direct eye contact and emphasis on the words "none of you" would add drama and punch to his message and his close.