5e Making paragraphs coherent

5eMaking paragraphs coherent

Contents:

Organizing ideas

Repeating key words and phrases

Creating parallel structures

Using transitions

Quick Help: Commonly used transitions

A paragraph has coherence—or flows—if its details fit together clearly in a way that readers can easily follow. You can achieve paragraph coherence by organizing ideas, by repeating key terms or phrases, and by using parallel structures and transitional devices.

Organizing ideas

When you arrange information in a particular order, you help readers move from one point to another. There are a number of ways to organize details—you might use spatial, chronological, or associational order (3e) or one or more logical patterns, such as illustration, definition, or comparison and contrast (5d). Two other patterns commonly used in paragraphs are general to specific and specific to general.

Paragraphs organized in a general-to-specific pattern usually open with a topic sentence that presents a general idea. The topic sentence is then followed by specific points that support the generalization. In the following paragraph, the topic sentence presents a general idea about the Black Death, which is then backed up by specific examples:

GENERAL TO SPECIFIC

A massive epidemic, the Black Death of the fourteenth century, brought loss of life in the tens of millions of people and catastrophic debilitation to commerce and agriculture across Eurasia and North Africa. The bubonic plague seems to have initially irrupted into Chinese populations beginning in the 1320s. It spread in many parts of China until the 1350s with great loss of life. At the same time, it appears to have been carried into Mongolia and across the steppes into Crimea. Two Central Asian areas, one inhabited by the Nestorian Christians and the other by the Uzbek Muslims, were devastated by the plague before it struck in Europe, Southwest Asia, and Northwest Africa. Travel along Chinese and Central Asian trade routes facilitated the spread of this deadly disease.

—LANNY B. FIELDS, RUSSELL J. BARBER, AND CHERYL A. RIGGS, The Global Past

Paragraphs can also follow a specific-to-general organization, first providing a series of specific examples or details and then tying them together with a topic sentence that provides a conclusion. The following paragraph begins with specific details about two people’s reactions to an event and ends with a topic sentence:

SPECIFIC TO GENERAL

I remember one afternoon as I was sitting on the steps of our monastery in Nepal. The monsoon storms had turned the courtyard into an expanse of muddy water and we had set out a path of bricks to serve as stepping-stones. A friend of mine came to the edge of the water, surveyed the scene with a look of disgust, and complained about every single brick as she made her way across. When she got to me, she rolled her eyes and said, “Yuck! What if I’d fallen into that filthy muck? Everything’s so dirty in this country!” Since I knew her well, I prudently nodded, hoping to offer her some comfort through my mute sympathy. A few minutes later, Raphaèle, another friend of mine, came to the path through the swamp. “Hup, hup, hup!” she sang as she hopped, reaching dry land with the cry “What fun!” Her eyes sparkling with joy, she added: “The great thing about the monsoon is that there’s no dust.” Two people, two ways of looking at things; six billion human beings, six billion worlds.

—MATTHIEU RICARD, Happiness

Repeating key words and phrases

A good way to build coherence in paragraphs is through repetition. Weaving in repeated key words and phrases—or pronouns that refer to them—not only links sentences but also alerts readers to the importance of those words or phrases in the larger piece of writing. Notice in the following example how the repetition of highlighted key words and the pronoun they helps hold the paragraph together:

Over the centuries, shopping has changed in function as well as in style. Before the Industrial Revolution, most consumer goods were sold in open-air markets, customers who went into an actual shop were expected to buy something, and shoppers were always expected to bargain for the best possible price. In the nineteenth century, however, the development of the department store changed the relationship between buyers and sellers. Instead of visiting several market stalls or small shops, customers could now buy a variety of merchandise under the same roof; instead of feeling expected to buy, they were welcome just to look; and instead of bargaining with several merchants, they paid a fixed price for each item. In addition, they could return an item to the store and exchange it for a different one or get their money back. All of these changes helped transform shopping from serious requirement to psychological recreation.

Creating parallel structures

Parallel structures—structures that are grammatically similar—are another effective way to bring coherence to a paragraph. Readers are pulled along by the force of the parallel structures in the following example:

William Faulkner’s “Barn Burning” tells the story of a young boy trapped in a no-win situation. If he betrays his father, he loses his family. If he betrays justice, he becomes a fugitive. In trying to free himself from his trap, he does both.

For more on parallel structures, see Chapter 45.

Using transitions

Transitional words and phrases, such as after all, for example, indeed, and finally, signal relationships between and among sentences and paragraphs. (For information on linking paragraphs together coherently, see 5f.) Transitions bring coherence to a paragraph by helping readers follow the progression of one idea to the next. To understand how important transitions are in guiding readers, try reading the following paragraph, from which all transitions have been removed:

A PARAGRAPH WITH NO TRANSITIONS

In “The Fly,” Katherine Mansfield tries to show us the “real” personality of “the boss” beneath his exterior. The fly helps her to portray this real self. The boss goes through a range of emotions and feelings. He expresses these feelings to a small but determined fly, whom the reader realizes he unconsciously relates to his son. The author basically splits up the story into three parts, with the boss’s emotions and actions changing quite measurably. With old Woodifield, with himself, and with the fly, we see the boss’s manipulativeness. Our understanding of him as a hard and cruel man grows.

We can, if we work at it, figure out the relationship of these ideas to one another, for this paragraph is essentially unified by one major idea. But the lack of transitions results in an abrupt, choppy rhythm; the paragraph lurches from one detail to the next, dragging the confused reader behind. See how much easier the passage is to read and understand with transitions added.

THE SAME PARAGRAPH, WITH TRANSITIONS

In “The Fly,” Katherine Mansfield tries to show us the “real” personality of “the boss” beneath his exterior. The fly in the story’s title helps her to portray this real self. In the course of the story, the boss goes through a range of emotions and feelings. At the end, he finally expresses these feelings to a small but determined fly, whom the reader realizes he unconsciously relates to his son. To accomplish her goal, the author basically splits up the story into three parts, with the boss’s emotions and actions changing quite measurably throughout. First with old Woodifield, then with himself, and last with the fly, we see the boss’s manipulativeness. With each part, our understanding of him as a hard and cruel man grows.

Note that transitions can only clarify connections between thoughts; they cannot create connections. As a writer, you should not expect a transition to provide meaning.