EXERCISE S7–3Sentence variety
Examine the draft and the revision of each sentence. Identify the technique that was used to improve sentence variety.
Example
1 of 5
Draft: The Dust Bowl farmers, looking wearily into the cameras of US government photographers, represented the harshest effects of the Great Depression.
Revision: Looking wearily into the cameras of US government photographers, the Dust Bowl farmers represented the harshest effects of the Great Depression.
2 of 5
Draft: The Trans Alaska Pipeline was completed in 1977. It has moved more than fifteen billion barrels of oil since 1977.
Revision: Since it was completed in 1977, the Trans Alaska Pipeline has moved more than fifteen billion barrels of oil.
3 of 5
Draft: Mr. Guo habitually dresses in loose clothing and canvas shoes for his wushu workout.
Revision: Habitually, Mr. Guo dresses in loose clothing and canvas shoes for his wushu workout.
4 of 5
Draft: A number of obstacles are strategically placed throughout a firefighter training maze.
Revision: Strategically placed throughout a firefighter training maze are a number of obstacles.
5 of 5
Draft: Ian McKellen is a British actor who made his debut in 1961 and was knighted in 1991, and he played Gandalf in the movie trilogy The Lord of the Rings.
Revision: Ian McKellen, a British actor, made his debut in 1961, was knighted in 1991, and played Gandalf in the movie trilogy The Lord of the Rings.