Revising a thesis that is too factual

The following thesis is a simple statement of fact, suitable for an encyclopedia entry but not for an argument paper. A strong thesis requires proof or further development. The revised thesis poses an argument that the writer can support.

Figure. The figure shows a strategy for revising a thesis. Draft thesis: The first polygraph was developed by Dr. John A. Larson in 1921. Problem: The thesis is too factual. A reader could not disagree with it or debate it; no further development of this idea is required. Strategy: Enter a debate by posing a question about your topic that has more than one possible answer. For example: Should the polygraph be used by private employers? Your thesis should be your answer to the question. Revised thesis: Because the polygraph has not been proved reliable, even under controlled conditions, its use by employers should be banned.

Effective thesis statements

Exercise: Thesis statements 1

Exercise: Thesis statements 2

Related topics:

Revising a thesis that is too broad

Revising a thesis that is too vague