One resounding conclusion of research in the social sciences is that humans, from the first days of life to the last, are powerfully influenced by other humans. Social bonds affect health and happiness at every age (Hazan & Campa, 2013). Evidence of this in infancy depends partly on the age of the baby. First synchrony, then attachment, and finally social referencing are apparent (see Visualizing Development, p. 144).

Ideally, early parent–child interactions are characterized by synchrony, a mutual exchange that requires split-second timing. Metaphors for synchrony are often musical—a waltz, a jazz duet—to emphasize that each partner must be attuned to the other, with moment-by-moment responses. Synchrony is evident in the first three months, becoming more frequent and elaborate as the infant matures (Feldman, 2007).

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BOTH PARTNERS ACTIVE Direct observation reveals synchrony. Anyone can see it when watching a caregiver play with an infant who is too young to talk. It is also evident in computer measurement of the millisecond timing of smiles, arched eyebrows, and so on (Messinger et al., 2010). Synchrony is a powerful learning experience for the new human. Infants read others’ emotions and develop social skills, taking turns and watching expressions.

Thus, long before they can reach out and grab, infants respond excitedly to caregiver attention by waving their arms. They are delighted if the adult moves closer so that a waving arm can touch the face or, even better, a hand can grab hair. You read about this eagerness for interaction (when infants try to “make interesting events last”) in Chapter 3.

In response, adults open their eyes wide, raise their eyebrows, smack their lips, and emit nonsense sounds. Hair-grabbing might make adults bob their head back and forth, in a playful attempt to shake off the grab, to the infants’ delight, or might cause a sudden angry expression, with a loud “No” making the infant burst into tears. Even that is better than no response at all.

Synchrony usually begins with adults imitating infants (not vice versa), with tone and rhythm (Van Puyvelde et al., 2010). Adults respond to barely perceptible infant facial expressions and body motions. This helps infants connect their internal state with behaviors that are understood within their culture.

Ideally, parents and infants become partners. This relationship is crucial when the infant is at medical risk. The necessity of time-consuming physical care might overwhelm concern about psychosocial needs, yet those needs are as important for long-term health as are the biological ones (Newnham et al., 2009). Responsiveness to the individual, not simply to the impaired human, leads to a strong, mutual love between parents and child (Solomon, 2012).

NEGLECTED SYNCHRONY In the still-face technique, an infant faces an adult who responds normally while two video cameras simultaneously record their interpersonal reactions (Tronick, 1989; Tronick & Weinberg, 1997). Frame-by-frame analysis reveals that parents instinctively synchronize their responses to the infants’ movements, with exaggerated tone and expression. Babies reciprocate with smiles and flailing limbs. That is synchrony.

Then the adult stops all expression on cue, staring quietly with a “still face” for a minute or two. Sometimes by 2 months, and clearly by 6 months, infants are upset when their parents are unresponsive. Babies frown, fuss, drool, look away, kick, cry, or suck their fingers. By 5 months, they also vocalize, as if to say, “React to me” (Goldstein et al., 2009).

Many studies of still faces and other interactions reach the same conclusion: Synchrony is experience-expectant, not simply experience-dependent. Responsiveness aids psychosocial and biological development, evident in heart rate, weight gain, and brain maturation. Particularly in the first year, mothers who are depressed and anxious are less likely to synchronize their responses, and then babies become less able to respond to social cues (Atzil et al., 2014).

For example, one study looked in detail at 4-month-old infants during and immediately after the still-face episode (Montirosso et al., 2015). The researchers found three clusters, which they called “socially engaged” (33 percent), “disengaged” (60 percent), and “negatively engaged” (7 percent).

When the mothers were still-faced, the socially engaged babies remained active, looking around at other things. When the still face was over, they quickly re-engaged. The disengaged group became passive, taking longer to return to normal. The negatively engaged were angry and crying, even after the still face ended.

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The mothers of each type differed, with the engaged mothers matching the infants’ actions (bobbing head, opening mouth, and so on) and the negative mothers almost never matching. The researchers suggest that the “distinctive patterns of infants’ individual differences” determined the mothers’ behavior (Montirosso et al., 2015, p. 67). However, as was already explained, other researchers would do the opposite, with mothers determining the infants’ behavior. Either way, a lack of synchrony is a troubling sign.

Toward the end of the first year, face-to-face synchrony almost disappears. Once infants can walk, they are no longer content to respond, moment by moment, to adult facial expressions and vocalizations.

Instead attachment becomes evident. Actually, as thousands of researchers on every continent have shown, attachment is lifelong, beginning before birth and influencing relationships throughout life (see At About This Time).

Attachment has been studied with atypical populations (e.g., infants with Down syndrome, with autism spectrum disorder, and so on), with teenagers, and with adults (Simpson & Rholes, 2015; K. Grossmann et al., 2014). This field of study was inspired by John Bowlby’s theories (1982, 1983) and by Mary Ainsworth, who described mother–-infant relationships in central Africa 60 years ago (Ainsworth, 1967).

SIGNS OF ATTACHMENT As Ainsworth noted, infants show their attachment through proximity-seeking (such as approaching and following their caregivers) and through contact-maintaining (such as touching, snuggling, and holding). Attachment needs are evident when a baby cries if the caregiver closes the door when going to the bathroom (lost proximity) or fusses if a back-facing car seat prevents the baby from seeing the parent (lost contact).

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Data from Grobman, 2008.

Some caregivers take the baby into the bathroom, leading to one mother’s complaint that she hadn’t been alone in the bathroom for two years (Senior, 2014). Often caregivers sing and talk to the baby when they are out of sight. Maintaining contact need not be physical: Visual or verbal connections can express attachment. Later on, in adulthood, a phone call or a text message may be enough.

Caregivers show many signs that attachment is mutual. They keep a watchful eye on their baby, and they elicit interaction with expressions, gestures, and sounds. Before going to sleep at midnight they might tiptoe to the crib to gaze at their sleeping infant, or, in daytime, absentmindedly smooth their toddler’s hair.

Attachment is universal, being part of the inborn social nature of the human species. The particular ways it is expressed depend on culture. For instance, Ainsworth reported that Ugandan mothers never kiss their infants, but they often massage them, contrary to Westerners.

Some adults remain in contact simply by sitting in the same room as each reads quietly. In some cultures, adults often hold hands, hug, or touch each other’s faces, shoulders, or buttocks. Some scholars believe that attachment, not only with mothers but also fathers, grandparents, and nonrelatives, is one reason that Homo sapiens thrived when other species became extinct (Hrdy, 2009).

SECURE AND INSECURE ATTACHMENT Attachment is classified into four types: A, B, C, and D (see Table 4.1). Infants with secure attachment (type B) feel comfortable and confident. The caregiver is a base for exploration, providing assurance and enabling discovery. A toddler might, for example, scramble down from the caregiver’s lap to play with an intriguing toy but periodically look back and vocalize (contact-maintaining) or bring the toy to the caregiver for inspection (proximity-seeking).

By contrast, insecure attachment (types A and C) is characterized by fear, anxiety, anger, or indifference. Some insecure children play independently without maintaining contact; this is insecure-avoidant attachment (type A). The opposite reaction is insecure-resistant/ambivalent attachment (type C). Children with this type of attachment cling to the caregiver and are angry at being left.

Ainsworth’s original schema differentiated only types A, B, and C. Later researchers discovered a fourth category (type D), disorganized attachment. Type D infants may shift suddenly from hitting to kissing their mothers, from staring blankly to crying hysterically, from pinching themselves to freezing in place.

Among the general population, almost two-thirds of infants are secure (type B). Their mothers’ presence gives them courage to explore; her departure causes distress; her return elicits positive social contact (such as smiling or hugging) and then more playing. The infant’s balanced reaction—being concerned but not overwhelmed by comings and goings—indicates security. Early research was only on mothers. Later, fathers and other caregivers were included; they also had secure or insecure attachments to their infants.

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About one-third of infants are insecure, either indifferent (type A) or unduly anxious (type C). About 5 to 10 percent of infants fit into none of these categories; they are disorganized (type D), with no consistent strategy for social interaction, even avoidance or resistance. Sometimes they become hostile and aggressive, difficult for anyone to relate to (Lyons-Ruth et al., 1999). Unlike the first three types, disorganized infants have elevated levels of cortisol in reaction to stress (Bernard & Dozier, 2010).

MEASURING ATTACHMENT Ainsworth (1973) developed a now-classic laboratory procedure called the Strange Situation to measure attachment. In a well-equipped playroom, an infant is observed for eight episodes, each lasting three minutes. First, the child and mother are together. Next, according to a set sequence, the mother and then a stranger come and go. Infants’ responses indicate which type of attachment they have formed.

Researchers are trained to distinguish types A, B, C, and D. They focus on the following:

Attachment is not always measured via the Strange Situation; surveys and interviews are also used. Sometimes parents answer 90 questions about their children’s characteristics, and sometimes adults are interviewed extensively (according to a detailed protocol) about their relationships with their own parents, again with various specific measurements. Attachment can be assessed in middle school children, adolescents who are dating, and with an entire family, via verbal responses or actions (Farnfield & Holmes, 2014).

Research measuring attachment has revealed that some behaviors that might seem normal are, in fact, a sign of insecurity. For instance, an infant who clings to the caregiver and refuses to explore the toys might be type C. Likewise, adults who say their childhood was happy and their mother was a saint, especially if they provide few specific memories, might be insecure. And young children who are immediately friendly to strangers may never have formed a secure attachment (Tarullo et al., 2011).

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Assessments of attachment that were developed and validated for middle-class North Americans may be less useful in other cultures. Infants who seem dismissive or clingy in the Strange Situation may not necessarily be insecure.

At first, developmentalists expected secure attachment in infancy to “predict all the outcomes reasonably expected from a well-functioning personality” (Thompson & Raikes, 2003, p. 708). But this expectation turned out to be naive.

Securely attached infants are more likely to become secure toddlers, competent preschoolers, high-achieving schoolchildren, and capable parents. Attachment affects early brain development, one reason these later outcomes occur (Diamond & Fagundes, 2010). But insecure infants are not doomed to later failure.

Although attachment patterns form in infancy (see Table 4.2), they are not set in stone; a securely attached infant may become insecure if the family context changes, such as with new abuse or income loss. Poverty increases the likelihood of insecure attachment, and insecure attachment correlates with later learning problems, but a third variable may be the reason for this correlation.

The third variable most often suggested is low SES. Hostile children, fearful adults, delayed language, and low school achievement all correlate with low parental education, as does insecure attachment. The premise—that responsive early parenting leads to secure attachment, which buffers stress and encourages exploration—seems valid, but lack of attachment may be a sign of deeper social problems. Low SES is problematic in many ways, but we should note that both secure and insecure attachment occur at every income level.

Certainly infant responses in the Strange Situation are only one measure of the parent–child relationship. Linking attachment measured by the Strange Situation directly to later problems may not be warranted, especially in cultures with other patterns of mother–child interaction (Keller, 2014).

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INSIGHTS FROM ROMANIA No scholar doubts that close human relationships should develop in the first year of life and that the lack of such relationships risks dire consequences. Unfortunately, thousands of children born in Romania are proof.

When Romanian dictator Nicolae Ceausesçu forbade birth control and abortions in the 1980s, illegal abortions became a leading cause of death for Romanian women aged 15 to 45 (Verona, 2003), and more than 100,000 children were abandoned to crowded, impersonal, state-run orphanages. The children experienced severe deprivation, including virtually no normal interaction, play, or conversation.

In the two years after Ceausesçu was ousted and killed in 1989, thousands of those children were adopted by North American, western European, and Australian families. Those who were adopted before 6 months of age fared best; the adoptive parents established synchrony via play and caregiving. Most of them developed normally.

For those adopted after 6 months, and especially after 12 months, early signs were encouraging: Skinny infants gained weight and grew faster than other 1-year-olds, developing motor skills they had lacked (H. Park et al., 2011). However, their early social deprivation soon became evident in their emotions and intellect. Many were overly friendly to strangers throughout childhood, a sign of insecure attachment (Tarullo et al., 2011). At age 11, their average IQ was only 85, which is 15 points below normal (Rutter et al., 2010).

Even those who were well nourished or who caught up to normal growth often became impulsive, angry teenagers. Apparently, the stresses of adolescence and emerging adulthood exacerbated the cognitive and social strains on these young people and their families (Merz & McCall, 2011).

These children are now adults, some with serious emotional or conduct problems. The cause is more social than biological. Research on children adopted nationally and internationally finds that many become normal adults, but every stress—from rejection in infancy to early institutionalization to the circumstances of the adoption process—makes a good outcome more difficult to attain (Grotevant & McDermott, 2014).

Romanian infants are no longer available for international adoption, even though some remain abandoned. Research confirms that early emotional deprivation, not genes or nutrition, is their greatest problem. Romanian infants develop best in their own families, second best in foster families, and worst in institutions (Nelson et al., 2007).

As best we know, this applies to infants everywhere: Families usually nurture their babies better than strangers who care for many infants at once, and the more years children spend in an impersonal institution, the more likely it is they will become socially and intellectually impaired (Julian, 2013).

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Fortunately, in eastern Europe and elsewhere, institutions have improved or been shuttered; recent international adoptees (often now from Central America or sub-Saharan Africa) are not as impaired as those Romanian orphans (Grotevant & McDermott, 2014). Many nations have severe restrictions on international adoptions, in part because some children were literally snatched from their biological parents to be sent abroad. The number of international adoptees in the United States was 8,668 in 2012, down from 22,884 in 2004.

However, some infants in every nation are deprived of healthy interaction, sometimes within their own families. Ideally, no infant is institutionalized, but if that ideal is not reached, institutions need to change so that psychological health is as important as physical health (McCall, 2013). Children need responsive caregivers, who could be their biological relatives but could be unrelated. When international adoptions become a pawn in international disputes, as in 2014 between the United States and Russia, children suffer.

PREVENTING PROBLEMS All infants need love and stimulation; all seek synchrony and then attachment—secure if possible, insecure if not. Without some adult support, infants become disorganized and adrift, emotionally troubled. Extreme early social deprivation is difficult to overcome.

Since synchrony and attachment develop over the first year, and since more than one-third of all parents have difficulty establishing secure attachments, many developmentalists have sought to discover what particularly impairs these parents and what can be done to improve their parenting. We know that secure attachment is more difficult to achieve when the parents were abused as children, when families are socially isolated, when mothers are young adolescents, or when infants are unusually difficult (Zeanah et al., 2011).

Some birth parents, fearing that they cannot provide responsive parenting, choose adoptive parents. This is best done at birth so that synchrony and attachment can develop (McCall, 2013). If high-risk birth parents want to provide good care, early support may prevent later problems. Everywhere, parents and infants are attached to each other, and everywhere secure attachment predicts academic success and emotional stability (Erdman & Ng, 2010; Otto & Keller, 2014; Drake et al., 2014).

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Social referencing refers to seeking emotional responses or information from other people, much as a student might consult a dictionary or other reference work. Someone’s reassuring glance, cautionary words, or a facial expression of alarm, pleasure, or dismay—those are social references.

Even at 8 months, infants notice where other people are looking and use that information to look in the same direction themselves (Tummeltshammer et al., 2014). After age 1, when infants can walk and are “little scientists,” their need to consult others becomes urgent as well as more accurate.

Toddlers search for clues in gazes, faces, and body positions, paying close attention to emotions and intentions. They focus on their familiar caregivers, but they also use relatives, other children, and even strangers to help them assess objects and events. They are remarkably selective, noticing that some strangers are reliable references and others are not (Fusaro & Harris, 2013).

Social referencing has many practical applications. Consider mealtime. Caregivers the world over smack their lips, pretend to taste, and say “yum-yum,” encouraging toddlers to eat their first beets, liver, or spinach. For their part, toddlers become astute at reading expressions, insisting on the foods that the adults really like. If mother likes it, and presents it on the spoon, then they eat it—otherwise not (Shutts et al., 2013).

Through this process, some children develop a taste for raw fish or curried goat or smelly cheese—foods that children in other cultures refuse, sometimes pretending to gag when presented with delicacies that other children covet. Similarly, toddlers use social cues to understand the difference between real and pretend eating, as well as to learn which objects, emotions, and activities are forbidden.

Fathers enhance their children’s social and emotional development in many ways (Lamb, 2010). Synchrony, attachment, and social referencing are sometimes more apparent with fathers than with mothers. Fathers typically elicit more smiles and laughter from their infants than mothers do, probably because they play more exciting games, while mothers do more caregiving and comforting (Fletcher et al., 2013).

When asked to play with their baby, mothers typically caress, read, sing, or play traditional games such as peek-a-boo. Fathers are more exciting: They move their infant’s limbs in imitation of walking, kicking, or climbing, or they swing the baby through the air, sideways, or even upside down. Mothers might say, “Don’t drop him”; fathers and babies laugh with joy. In this way, fathers tend to help children become less fearful.

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ETHNIC AND CULTURAL DIFFERENCES Some people still hold the prejudice that African American, Latin American, and Asian American fathers are less nurturing and more strict than other men. In fact, the opposite may be true (Parke, 2013).

Within every ethnic group in the United States, contemporary fathers tend to be more involved with their infants than fathers once were. Fathers are also affected by income (stressed parents are less nurturing) and by where they live. As with humans of all age, social contexts are influential: Fathers are influenced by other fathers (Roopnarine & Hossain, 2013; Qin & Chang, 2013). Thus, fathers of every ethnic group are aware of what other men are doing, and that affects their own behavior.

Close father–infant relationships can teach infants (especially boys) appropriate expressions of emotion, particularly anger. The results may endure: Teenagers are less likely to lash out at friends and authorities if, as infants, they experienced a warm, responsive relationship with their father (Hoeve et al., 2011).

Less rigid gender roles seem to be developing in every nation, allowing a greater caregiving role for fathers (Shwalb et al., 2013). One U.S. example of historical change is the number of married women with children under age 6 who are employed. In 1970, 30 percent of married mothers of young children earned paychecks; in 2012, 60 percent did (U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, 2013). These statistics include many mothers of infants, who often rely on the baby’s father for child care.

Note the reference to “married” mothers: About half new mothers of infants in the United States are not married, and their employment rates are higher than their married counterparts. Their baby’s father—cohabiting or not—may care for their children when mothers are at work.

The fact that father involvement with infants varies by culture, and that fathers tend to be more involved than they were a few decades ago, should not obscure another truth—fathers everywhere and always have cared about their children. To understand this, you need to understand allocare—the care of children by people other than the mother (Hrdy, 2009). Allocare is essential for Homo sapiens’ survival.

Compared with many other species (for instance, mother chimpanzees never let another chimp hold their babies), human mothers have evolved to let other people help with child care, and other people are usually eager to do so (Kachel et al., 2011). Throughout the centuries, the particular person to provide allocare has varied by culture and ecological conditions.

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Often fathers helped but not always: Some men were far away, fighting, hunting, or seeking work, while some had several wives and a dozen or more children. In those situations, other women (daughters, grandmothers, sisters, friends) and sometimes other men provided allocare (Hrdy, 2009).

FAMILY COOPERATION Fathers and mothers often work together to raise the children. One researcher reports “mothers and fathers showed patterns of striking similarity: they touched, looked, vocalized, rocked, and kissed their newborns equally” (Parke, 2013, p. 121). Differences were apparent from one couple to another, but not from one gender to another—except for smiling (women did it more).

Children benefit when both parents are caregivers. It is still true, in every culture and ethnic group, that the average father spends much less time with infants than mothers do (Parke, 2013; Tudge, 2008). Some women are gatekeepers, believing that child care is their special domain. They imply that fathers are incompetent (perhaps saying, “You’re not holding her right”), laying out the clothes the baby is to wear, as if the father could not find clothes on his own (Pedersen & Kilzer, 2014).

Over the past 20 years, father–infant research has tried to answer three questions:

Many studies over the past two decades have answered yes to the first two questions. A baby fed, bathed, and diapered by Dad is just as happy and clean as when Mom does it. Gender differences are sometimes found in details, but babies thrive in father-care or mother-care. Fathers’ play may be more exciting—they wrestle, chase, and throw more—but they can be as responsive as mothers are.

On the third question, the answer depends on the family (Bretherton, 2010). Usually, mothers are caregivers and fathers are playmates, but not always. Each couple, given their circumstances (perhaps immigrant, low-income, or same-sex), seeks how to complement each other to help their infant thrive (Lamb, 2010). Traditional mother–father roles may be switched with no harm to the baby (Parke, 2013).

A constructive parental alliance can take many forms, but it cannot be taken for granted, no matter what the family configuration. Single-parent, same-sex, or grandparent families are not necessarily better or worse than nuclear families; each family can find a way to provide good care.

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Sometimes no one provides good care. One study reported that 7 percent of fathers of 1-year-olds were depressed, and then they were four times as likely to spank as were nondepressed fathers (40 percent versus 10 percent) (Davis et al., 2011) (see Figure 4.2). Thus parental depression, whether it be maternal or paternal, is harmful. We cannot assume that mothers, or fathers, will always be good caregivers.

Family members affect each other. Paternal depression correlates with maternal depression and with sad, angry, disobedient toddlers. Cause and consequence are intertwined. When anyone is depressed or hostile, everyone (mother, father, baby, sibling) needs help.