Adjusting to a roommate is a significant transition experience. You might make a lifetime friend or end up with an exasperating acquaintance you wish you’d never known. A roommate doesn’t have to be a best friend, just someone with whom you can share your living space comfortably.

Perhaps your current roommate is someone you wouldn’t have selected if given a choice. The person may be of a different race or ethnic group or may have different attitudes or experiences than you. Although it’s tempting to room with your best friend from high school, that friend might not make the best roommate. In fact, many students lose friends by rooming with them. Many students end up developing a lasting relationship with someone who at first was a total stranger. It’s important for roommates to establish, in writing, their mutual rights and responsibilities. Many colleges provide contract forms that you and your roommate might find useful if things go wrong. If you have problems with your roommate, talk them out promptly. Talk directly—politely, but plainly. If the problems persist or if you don’t know how to talk them out, ask your residence hall adviser for help; he or she is trained to help resolve roommate conflicts. Usually you can tolerate, and perhaps even learn from, a less-than-ideal situation, but if things get really bad and do not improve, insist on a change. If you live on campus, talk to your residence hall adviser or to a professional counselor in your campus’s counseling center.