You may already be in a long-term, committed relationship as you begin college, or you might have your first serious romance with someone you meet on campus. Since college allows you to meet people from different backgrounds with whom you share common interests, you might find it easier to meet romantic partners in college than it ever was before. Whether you choose to commit to one serious relationship or keep yourself open to meeting others, you’ll grow and learn a great deal about yourself and those with whom you become involved.
If you are seriously thinking about getting married or entering a long-term commitment, consider this: Studies show that the younger you are when you marry, the lower your odds are of enjoying a successful marriage. It is important not to marry before both you and your partner are certain of who you are and what you want. Many eighteen- to twenty-year-olds change their outlook and life goals drastically as they get older, which can negatively affect a romantic relationship.
Breaking Up Breaking up is hard, but if it’s time to end a romantic relationship, do it cleanly and calmly. Explain your feelings and talk them out. If you don’t get a mature reaction, take the high road; don’t join someone else in the mud.
If your partner breaks up with you, you might find yourself sad, angry, or even depressed. If that breakup happens through a text, an e-mail, or Facebook, ask to have a face-to-face meeting or at least a telephone conversation with that person. (See the “Communicating in a Digital Age” section later in this chapter.) Almost everyone has been rejected or “dumped” at one time or another. Let some time pass, be open to emotional support from your friends and your family, and, if necessary, pay a visit to your college counselor or a chaplain. These skilled professionals have assisted many students through similar experiences, and they can be there for you as well. You can also find many books in bookstores and your library that will have good information on the topic of surviving a breakup.
high-impact practice 2
Write and Reflect
When Romantic Relationships End
On the basis of your experience or the experience of someone close to you, write a journal entry with advice or emotional support that you would give a student who is dealing with a breakup.
Relationship No-Nos If you find yourself becoming attracted to an instructor or someone else who has the power to affect your grades or your job, remember this: It is never wise to get involved with someone who is in a “power relationship” with you, and if you date a subordinate and the relationship ends, you might find yourself accused of sexual harassment or being fired or sued. Even dating coworkers is risky; it will be much harder to heal from a breakup if you must continue to work with your ex. You won’t be sorry if you choose to maintain strictly professional relationships in the classroom and in the workplace.