When we engage in empathic listening, we try to feel how another person feels. Getting in touch with our own thoughts and feelings is a first step (Wolvin, 2010), but empathic listeners must use this self-knowledge to create a framework that recognizes that the feelings and thoughts of others are probably not identical to their own. Empathic listening requires openness, sensitivity, and caring—and the display of nonverbal immediacy behaviors (see Chapter 4) (Bodie & Jones, 2012).

Through empathic listening, we can provide emotional support for someone in need or comfort someone when tragedy or disappointment strikes (Bodie, Vickery, & Gearhart, 2013; Gearhart & Bodie, 2011). This is particularly important in medical situations. Doctors, nurses, and other health care providers must listen compassionately to the seriously ill. They need to determine the mental and emotional state of the patients and their families to decide how much information to disclose to them and when. Empathic listening helps manage the emotions of people confronting adverse events and can help uncover erroneous assumptions contributing to their anxieties (Iedema, Jorm, Wakefield, Ryan, & Sorensen, 2009; Rehling, 2008). As a bonus, when health care providers listen empathically, not only do they help patients reduce anxiety, but also their patients are more satisfied and compliant with treatments (Davis, Foley, Crigger, & Brannigan, 2008).

When you listen empathically, it’s helpful to paraphrase the thoughts and feelings being expressed. Paraphrasing involves guessing at feelings and rephrasing (not repeating) what you think the speaker has said. Empathic listening recognizes and elaborates on others’ feelings, giving them some degree of legitimacy without suggesting an answer or solution (Fent & MacGeorge, 2006; Shotter, 2009). Just remember not to overdo paraphrasing; not only does the conversation become awkward, but also the other person may feel ridiculed (Weger, Castle, & Emmett, 2010).