(See “Critical Reading” in Chapter 1)

1

Some of the worst life situations I’ve seen were caused simply by people failing to consider the effects of their actions. Each of you in this room must learn for yourselves that every single decision you make has consequences. It is important that you think about the decisions you make before you make them because if you don’t, then you will end up somewhere you didn’t plan for.

2

My best decisions are the ones I make when I think my grandmother might find out about them. If I would be proud for her to know the decision I’ve made, then it’s probably a good decision. If I have to sneak or would be ashamed for her to know my decision, then it is probably a bad decision. In any case, here are some examples of the thought process in good decision making. They show what happens when you don’t consider consequences.

3

Some of you girls might be getting pressured by your boyfriends to have sex. What should you think about? Well, you’re probably wondering what he’ll say if you don’t sleep with him. Will he break up with you or call you “prude”? Well, don’t let him define you. What if you get pregnant? What if you get a sexually transmitted disease? What if you get AIDS? What if you break up after you have sex with him? Will he tell everyone how good you were in bed? Will everyone know your business?

4

Single parenthood is hard. I know from personal experience. I had graduated from college, was working as a minority recruiter and admissions counselor, and was training for the Olympics. I also planned to go to law school at Stanford. Then, I got pregnant without planning for it. Suddenly, I was expecting a child with a man who was both abusive and unsupportive. I was not married. I was disappointed in myself. I was ashamed of the shame I brought on my grandmother. I was a coward. I fled the United States and hid my pregnancy in Spain. I absolutely love my son, but I gave up my Olympic aspirations and Stanford Law School.

5

Some of you might be thinking about using drugs. Think long and hard. I have crackheads in my family whose lives have been destroyed. Some are homeless. Some are dying of AIDS. My aunt was murdered in a drug house. My brother was murdered buying marijuana. I have an alcoholic cousin who does not take care of her children, and she is on welfare. People who do drugs come to love drugs more than they love anyone or anything else. Then, the drugs control you. You lose control of your life.

6

What about crime — just little stuff, like shoplifting that little pair of earrings at the neighborhood Target? When I was sixteen, I’d worked to earn money to buy stuff I wanted. I wanted a pair of jeans. Instead, my mother took my check for herself. I still thought I was entitled to the jeans, so I went to Target and took a pair. I got caught. I was arrested, handcuffed, put in the back of a patrol car, and detained. I ducked my head down in the back of the patrol car. I just knew the whole world was looking at me. I was humiliated. I should have thought about the consequences. It wasn’t right to steal from Target even if my mother took my check. You best believe I’ve thought about that ever since that date because I’ve never shoplifted again. I even told my son about it. I don’t want him to make the same mistake that I did.

7

You have choices in life, and it’s up to you to make the decisions that will most positively benefit your life. We are all capable of thinking through stuff and making the right decision. The question is: Are you going to do it, or are you going to just take the easy road through life? My grandmother said, “If you make a bad decision, learn from it and move on; that way it’s not your fault. If, however, you make the same mistake twice, you’re stupid and it is your fault.” I don’t know about you, but I’m not stupid.

8

I’ve made good and bad decisions in my life. Thankfully, I’ve made more good ones than bad. I hope to continue to make good decisions by considering consequences and learning from my mistakes. I hope that’s your philosophy too.